Sheed  on:  Racin'    Hair Weaves    Diversity     "The runs"    Racism   High school     Drinkin'  Fishin'     Class      Imposters  John Feinstein   Favorite things   Favorite towns in NC   Other Places   Architecture    His father      Love Potion   Chitlins    Wilhemia Parker  Deodorant  Hoochie Mamas   Sea Sickness   Taxes  His Fishin' Trip   Technical Fouls   Soccer   Persuin' da Ring   Million Mom March  Coach Ford   LA Lakers   Irish Joke  Real Indentity   UNC's next coach   White Spots 4 sale  Soccer (part 2)   Reply to Vince   Sharing St. Ideas  Doublewides  Crashin' the Lexus    Martha Stewart  Rare Interview  Rare Interview (part 2)  Where to buy St.Ideas  Club 211   Cubans  Cathy's Place  Sunday schedule   Med School   Bullheaded Clap  Survivor Hot Tub   Wearin' Underwear   Dove Huntin'  Gettin' Pissed Off  Mexico vs. The Bruthas  Training camp   Blue Heaven   Respect   Mexican crap  The Olympics  So. Carolina Ribs  Louisiana   Liver Mush   Consoling co-eds   Syracuse fans   Coolin' Down   Damon Thornton   Thornton #2   Buttermilk  State Girl  Queen Anne  Wm. F. Buckley  Wm. F. Buckley #2  Wm. F. Buckley #3  Freedom of Speech  Racism part 2  Halloween   Gets Angry   Travelin  Amish Country His Birthday   Graduation  Pig's Feet  Christmas List  Dem. National Convention  12 days of xmas  Free Rae Carruth!  Free Speech #2   Karolina Klass   Sheed's Contest  Contest Winner  New Soccer Complex  Klass #2  Vin Restaurant  Racist Chitlins?    Meeting fans  2001 All-ACC team    Hardees   Oracle of Black Ankle, NC  Dean Smith's records   Mary Tyler Moore   Kenan Stadium   Weapon of Mass Destruction  NC Sardine Festival   Academic Requirements  Pablo's LA Stylz Buckwheat  Choo Choo Justice   Election Results  Rabbit Waddell   Hold 'em Heels Meal Deal  

Posted ByTWSORW'sH on April 06, 2001 at 08:26:31:

Yo Yo Yo,

Since DA SHEED's new digs looks like a sitcom set from tha early 70's I has dun seen a beutiful woman on da tv. Kan u's believs how damn HOT Mary Tyler Moore(said Mo down in Moore and Montgomery Counties) wuz? Danzin in da screet and throwin her hat in tha air, "ur gonna make it abter all". I wisheted I wuz dat hat. Mary Mary u on my mind, u is so hot I is fellin fine. Beerman we'll be tippin a couple o 40's next week but I gots to go c a play in R town dis weekend. I'll be gittin in touch.

Friday Joke(new item): Why dont dey have sguare dances in Harlem? Cause when dey yell "Hoe down" eberyone runs to tha window to see who shot der sister.

Diversity and tolerance fo all. Peace out.

Sheed

Yo Yo Yo,

Well since we is dun gots into coberin records an stats might ass bitch assin well go into Coach  Smif and tha family.  Came to tha crib only 2 tmies but tha man kan shit!! In doze 2 days Coach Smif laid 34 brown  trouts(one in tha broken shitter upstairs!) and tha family only crappeted bout 12 times. What dey servein down dera in Chapel Hill.

In addition he:

1) Smoketed all my blunts

2) Took all my Hustlers

3) Wroteeted "fart" in crayon on tha wall ob tha kitchen

4) Broke my first "Girls Gone Wild Video"

5) Causeted tha fan to burn out a motor in tha bafroom

6) Stuck gum undera tha coffee(St Ideas table-eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas).

7) Gaveted a speech on tha origins of dingel berries and how dey might affect the export import

deal between Norf Yemen and Bahrin

8) Causeted Willie to git off da hunger strike(FREE RAE CARRUTH!!!)

An many many ober tings. Still pissteed bout gittin dissed in front ob Coach Smif by mom. Peace

out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 08, 2001 at 11:30:09:

Yo Yo Yo,

I is havin to do sum soul searchin ass of late. Dis leads me to tha ORACLE OF BLACKANKLE NC.(DA SHEED is lead to the Oracle by one of the Protectors of the Oracle--->Drunk on a moped)(Sheed covers the hills of northern Montgomery County in search of the questions that profound man. Over streams and fences while being chased by wild dogs, Sheed looks for truth)

DA SHEED- Oh Oracle tail me what is tha meanin of life?

Oracle- The meaning of life is neither complex nor simple. It can be found in the most difficult issues as well in those least confounding. The meaning of life is not before you neither is it hidden. Can you loan me $20?

DA SHEED- How duz I know when I has found tha meanin of life?

Oracle- When you are content my questioner.

DA SHEED- I is content when I gots a ST IDEAS(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas) undera my arma.

Oracle- Being content has nothing to do with hoochies, drinking St Ideas, rump shakkin, funk dunkin, beatin up ex girlfriends or humpin blondes. Being at ease and feeling content stems from nothing material or physical.

DA SHEED- WHAT???!!! Are you sayin I should trade in my Lexus fo a Mercedes Sports carra?

Oracle- Yes

DA SHEED- Why do mens not clean tha lint collector on a dryer whiles womens does?

Oracle- There are some things even the ORACLE OF BLACKANKLE does not know.(Use the voice from the Wizard of Oz on this one)

DA SHEED- Did Coach Smif really smoke all my blunts back in 93 on dat recrutin trip? Did he float the trout?

Oracle- Yes it is apparent that Coach Smith did smoke all of your blunts. I am not sure about the trout in the shitter.

DA SHEED- How do you says "I lobes you"?

Oracle- Send them FTD

DA SHEED- STD?

Oracle- Yes, that can suffice as well as a means of saying "I love you".
(The Proctector of the Oracle is drunk and asleep)

DA SHEED- Has da Oracle of Blackankle eber hooked wif sum fine hoochies?

Oracle- The ORACLE OF BLACKANKLE is beyond such things. I am not physical and my origins are divine.

DA SHEED- DEVINE BROWN? I know dat bitch.

Oracle- Ask yourself what is it that you seek then seek not what you want. Look forward because your happiness is not in the past. The past has no chance of become nothing but the past. Look past your desires and needs and put forth all effort to happiness. FAME AND GLORY ARE ALWAYS FLEETING!!

DA SHEED- Do dey sell sell hoop cheese round hear?

ORACLE- ENOUGH OF THESE QUESTIONS. YOU HAVE WHAT YOU HAVE SOUGHT FROM ME. BE GONE!!

(With the Proctector asleep Sheed takes a piss into the Oracle)

Beware of the ST IDEAS OF MARCH.

Peace out.

Sheed

*The ingredients of good tater dumplings can be found in the most recent issue of Southern Cooking*

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 09, 2001 at 08:16:30:

Yo Yo Yo,

Eben us HARD ASS THUG LIFE STARRAS gots to eat. Tha road is laceted wif lot o places dat aint worf a shit. Hardees tops tha muthafuckin list. Here's my list ob worst Hardees in Norf Carolina. Enjoy my bitchs.

Worst Hardee's in Norf Carolina(no certian order)

5) Hardee's in Troy(closed)- Dis damn place could have screweted up an order of ice water to go. Tha mercy ob God closeted dis place bout 2 years ago. Good fo pissin round back.

4)Any Hardee's in Charlotte- What kan I says? Uncarin service, bad food and the possibility ob bein shot down in cold blood. It is fun ass hell roundin up ol paper cups an stompin dem in tha parkin lot to see who can make the loudest pop.

3) Hardee's in Manteo(closed)- HARD ASS URBAN THUG LIFE does lobe to deep sea fish. A good number of wrong orders found their way into my Lexus. Shelia makes terrible biscuits, the gravy wuz damn watery.

2) Hardee's on High Point Road, Greensboro(dont ax which one)- I eben helpeted to cook that food and rang myself out. Pure hell.

1) Hardee's in Wingate Norf Carolina- Wuz dat roast beef I had o did dey git warf rat mixeted in wif da stuff? Muthafuckin yuck! DO NOT GO INTO THA BAFROOM!!

WORST HARDEES IN THA STATE:BISCOE- Yes might be da worst. If u is waitin fo an order u might do well to run ur hard ass down to tha Food Lion, buy a grill and sum meat and cook tha shit urself. Multiple Edwardos might ax u to chunk on a piece ob goat meat o two but dey are ok little fuckers. DO NOT ORDER THE JALIPNO DEEPETED CHERRY CHEESE CAKE!!

KLASS acts has gots to eat. Watch out. Peace out.

Sheed

*The Hardee's in Muffersboro and Nashville NC are both excellent. I suggest you skip Biscoe and travel the extra 200 miles if you want fast service*

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 13, 2001 at 13:25:53:

Yo Yo Yo,

When I aint crankin out technicals and funk dunks I is writin poetry. From tha hard streets of Philly to tha halloweted halls of chapel hill its RHYMES AND VERSUS DAY cumin at u.

Lard Biscuit Blues

Lookin fo tha move to win,
Hookin wif tha ladies like George Shinn.
Rollin down tha road wif no cares,
DA LADIES sees me nakkied an just stares.
Teachin my homies what tits all bout,
Showin tha boyz at Structure I gots sum clout.
Hangin out o workin hard,
This HARD ASS NBA STARRA be lovin my lard.

Who Dat?

Call me Sheed dats my name,
yum ya yum yum ya
Where dat bitchass's knockin my fame?
yum ya yum yum ya
Scoopin tha dollars off tha table,
yum ya yum yum ya
My afaletics makes me tha pride of tha stable.
yum ya yum yum ya
Takin it to tha max when I'm in town,
yum ya yum yum ya
Coach Smif's trout wuz certianly brown.
YUM YA YUM YUM YA

Webmaster Mix

Slick ass cracker livin off tha heels,
Rollin out dis websight wuz a hard ass deal.
Got dem buddies livin far an wide,
If I catch his ass I gonna skin his hide.

Now listen up, this is tha thunder god,
I is gonna lay one on dat Laker squad,
Rollin to tha ring and dera aint no doubt,
Whippin sum Western Conference ass what tits all about.

Brain Buttsticker Blues(part II)

Brain Brain I kant see,
Why u is catchin pine right befo me.
U is a prick an u got no klass,
All dem crackers at Duke sayz u lick mens ass.
Is dat true?
I dont tink so.
I miss u dunkin on State grabbin ur nuts like a mofo.

U is tha man, u is a starra.
Wif dat homo haircut u'll go farra.
So catch tha pine an hang wif Coach Matt,
Ur so cool I eben tinks u is phat.

Better dan befo. Rhymes and Versus is a favorites day ob mine. Peace out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 02, 2001 at 10:51:41:

Yo Yo Yo,

Enjoy my bitches.

DA SHEED'S ALL ACC TEAM

1st team
Jason Williams, Shane Battier(prick), Joe Forte, Alvin Jones(long way from nothin), Donald Hand

2nd team
Juan Dixon, Chris Williams, That good player from FSU, Lonnie Baxter, Josh Howard(passion
and tough) 

Rookie of the Year- No idea, not to be confused with St Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St
Ideas)

Player of the Year- ANYONE but Battier(prick)---> probably Forte or Jason Williams

Coach of the Year- Hewitt(dis guy did good wif nuffin, listen closely Sendek supporters)

Biggest dumbass of tha year- Brenden Haywood(from his general sloped head to his narrow
talents this guy could be one of the WORST players in the history of the conference. I often times
recall unc fans calling him "baby Shack" to which I retorted "baby Shit")

Ugliest player of the year- WE HAVE A TIE. Shane Battier and his head, Kris Lang(Kris ah la
Kris Kross<----backward pants wearing thugs from the early 90's) Tha Capel kid is pretty damn
ugly two. 

Coach that is the biggest prick- Coach K(wins this one going away, say "fuck" one more time
Coach den tail us bout sportsmanship)NOTE: COACH K ALSO WINS THE COVETED
"MOST LIKELY TO TAKE BITCHING ASS DEAN SMITH'S PLACE" AWARD. The guy
has NO KLASS.

Coach most likely to be an accountant-TIE. Herb Sendek and Dave Odom(Damn, can you
imagine the EXCITING conversations those guys have?)

Coach most often to carry a small flask of likker on him to the game- Gary Williams("You can
think all you want, I think I'll have another drink")

Most likely to be a Puerto Rican terrorist- That Menedez freak from unc(Close in the ugliest
muthafucker contest)

Greatest waste of talent- entire NCSU team(due to the math freak dat is tha coach)

Player most likely to float a brown trout in the oppents locker room- Juilus Peppers(nice teef)

Player most likely to be confused for a brown trout- Brenden Haywood

Player wif tha least afeltic ability- Haywood(again!!)

Player dat is often confused wif the 70's/80's porn legeand- John Holmes(unc- yes they have a
player dat is named John Holmes and he is one of dose bench losers dat jump an yell)

Player eberyone looks up to- DA SHEED

What's ur list? Peace out.


Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 20, 2001 at 11:00:31:


Yo Yo Yo,

Dis HARD ASS NBA STARRA wuz on a trip down east tha ober day when I droppeeted(no
trout droppin hear)in at a bar in Raleigh. Mo crackers at dat bar dan at tha Kebbler factory. Limp
wristed frats boyz needin hair cuts wuz eberywhere two, dey ladies is sexual unfulliffied(DA
SHEED really thought he was in an Abercombie and Fitch ad, made him mo sick than the 96
Chtilin Festival in Anderson SC).

I axed fo a ST IDEAS(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas) when dis guy says, "Is you That
White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head?" I said "Muthafuckin hell yeah, dats me". No St
Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas) but tits good to see dat DA SHEED has gots fans
on bof sides of da feces. KEEP IT REAL! 

Next time a HARD ASS NBA THUG LIFE CAROLINA KLASS SKY WALKIN LEXUS
DRIVIN LARD COOKIN BAR HOPPIN TATER CHUNCKIN LIP BUSTIN BITCH
SLAPPIN GOLD WEARIN PRACHUET PANTS WEARIN STARRA is in ur hood I'll be
buyin u a cold ass St Ideas(eberting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas) an we'll head downtown to
hook wif sum women. Da bigger da butt da better.

Tailblazers blazzen on! Peace out.

Sheed

*The capital of Peru is Lima* 

Posted ByTha tWhite Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 21, 2001 at 08:26:11:


Yo Yo Yo,

For time to muthafuckin time DA SHEED has gots to cum down from his mountain high(did
sumone say high?)an deals out truf and justits to his people, my fans(lobes u all). Tha quextion
brought up by Pookie wuz dealin wif chitlins and dat sayin chitlins wuz racist. Let's cover dis in
short muthafuckin order.

The statement delt wif tha number of fraternbity bozy at East Village. Da statement wuz sometin
like "There was so much Abercrombie and Fitch that I wuz as sick as the 96 chitlin festival in
Anderson SC". DA SHEED wuz sick as a mofo at tha chitlin festival, thus frat boyz wearin
Abercrombie and Fitch makes DA SHEED recall dat sickness. Did I muthafuckin mention dat tha
frat boyz all looketed likes soccer flits?

WHAT BOUT DAT IS RACIST? In what manner has DA SHEED(master of hard ass urban
thug life) insulted tha always offendeted groups(jews, blacks, THE handicapped, Amway
salesmen, lesbian feminist Marxists writers based in Central America, mud sharks, Stoics, ditch
diggers, soap squirters, liver mush eaters, men named Vlad, women named Shirley, the population
of Kalifornia, ferret owners, Ted Smith- half owner of Ted Smith's Muffler Emporium in Lebannon
Pa, Edwardo/Raoul/Enquire/Maria/Consuelo/Luis/Manuel/Anna/
Alferdo/Henritta/and TERRY, coffee drinkers, bank tellers, Chad the Rat, and
ANYMUTHAFUCKINBODY ELSE DAT HAS SELF ESTEEM PROBLEMS?<------All
from the shitty teachings of that protestant to catholic back to protestant master of emotion himself
Rosseau. Rosseau is in DA SHEED'S opinion the fater ob tha American Left, total distaste for
logic and reason while embracing mobcracy and emotion(feelings).)) GOD BLESS CICERO!!!

Pookie WUZ U AT THA 96 CHITLIN FESTIVAL IN ANDERSON SC? Fine ass hoochies
and rotten ass chitlins. Since no mention ob RACE wuz stated how duz u point tha racial speech
police finger at DA SHEED? How kan a hawg gut be racist?

Chitlin Song fo Pookie

"I wonders an I wonders but I kant see,
How dem chitlins is bein racist to me.
Dey tastes good an dey tastes fine,
Best part ob chitlins is up from tha beeehind.
Ladies eates dem, hard asses too,
Chitlins aint racist Pookie, u muthafucker u" 


So dera u has tit. How kan chitlins be racist? Dey kant. Burden of proof is on the ACCUSER
NOT THE ACCUSED!!!! DA SHEED simply brings u DIVERSITY, TOLERANCE AND
THA FUNK DUNK. Lobes u all. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 22, 2001 at 08:42:01:

Yo Yo Yo,

Da dey ob fame an fortune is back!!! Its da day dat we celebite dose unc greats dat wuz once
butt aint no mo. Todaies we is gonna has a look at one ob DA SHEED'S favorites. Todaies we is
lookin at Ryan Sullivan. Enjoy my bitches.

Street smart, slick and skilled are none of tha muthafuckin terms dat should be useted to describ
Ryan. Word has tit dat he wuz constantly poppin zits in tha 3rd flo bafroom in high scool an he
enjoyed takin a dump wif tha bafroom do open so obers could see. Abter a superflumderous high
scool carrera Ryan wuz whisked off to chapel hill to tha machine know as tha tar heels. 

Ryan Sullivan Stats (94-95)

Points per game- 0.2

Rebounds per game- 3(his whole carrera, dis counts practices ass well)

ASSists per game- 0(but he did git one hell'va woorkout jumpin up an down at tha end of tha
bench)

Lbs of dope he hid in his baggy shorts- 23lbs(1 year aberage)

Length of tha trout he dropeted an did not flush in Coach Smif's office- 12
inches(DAMN!)---->Word has tit dat Coach Smif had Coach Ford gits a long neck Budwiser an
break tha trout up fo it wood flush.


Ryan wuz an absolute gem at unc. He brought us laughters, he broughts us saddness and he
brought us Bob Marley in tar heel hoops. Who could eber foget all dose jumps an twists dat he
wood do at tha end of tha bench when Carter wood does a dunk? Always wondereted how dat
white boy could jump so HIGH. His posture shitting on tha bench wuz one ob magnificent glory
while he watcxhed tha heels roll ober oppent abter oppenent. Ryan often did not bitch bout his
playin time, he seemeted distant an abobe tha crowd(wonder muthafuckin why, right).

Where he be now? Ryan is currently liven in Hackensack New Jerisy. He has grown his hair out
an wants to be tha next Jon Bon Jovi(who knew?). Tight pants an long hair fo dat cracker, all
Ryan dreams about is tha return ob tha Camero wif a spolier and chics wif bigger hair dan his.
Ryan supports hisself fru travellin round da country an sellin fake dog shit. On bein interviewed
Ryan said dis, "I miss unc. I really messed up down there, I could have really made an impact on
the court. Instead I chose the hot chics with bad habits in university towers." At this point Ryan
axed to do a song fo tha interviewer, we relented.

Ryan Sullivan as Jon Bon Jovi(song-Love is a Wild Thang)

Love is the thing Tina and I know,
Love is the one thing you dont want to blow.
Tina and me gonna fight forever,
Love is for us its now or never.

I love Tina and Tina loves me,
We gonna ride this Camero from sea to sea.
Holdin hands an cruisin along,
This love we got sure is strong.

(standard number of guitar licks from Ryan's strange friend Joey)

Down by the ocean in our old age,
Me and Tina are still the rage.
Passin the years an our children by,
This is my song so I'll say goodbye.
(Interviewer could handle no mo, stoppeted tha interview)*WHY IN THE HELL DOES JON
BON JOVI ALWAYS TALK ABOUT A GIRL NAMED TINA? I MEAN IS IT JUST ME
OR DOES HE REALLY SAY THE NAME TINA IN EVERY DAMN SONG HE SINGS? IS
EVERY FRIGGIN WOMAN FROM jersey NAMED TINA?*

DA SHEED dont knows bout dat shit? Cracker dun blowed up on sometin, wonder what? I
recalls dem little crackers runnin round Philly tinkin dey wuz Jon Bon Jovi when I wuz a little
mamma jamma, good luck bitch. Dey wuz hell to play pick up games wif, all dat hair spray wood
make a hard ass urban thug life youth sick and da height ob tha hair wuz hard to deal wif. Most of
dem dribbeled like girls in middle scool. 

Well dera u has tit, unc greats makin dey way in tha world one day at a time. Good luck Jon.
Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 05, 2001 at 06:59:11:

Yo Yo Yo,

Klass acts kant always be lettin tit hang out. DA SHEED wuz in Raligh tha other knight to c Les
Miesrables(The miserable muthafuckers) when I had to git sum mad eats.

Stoppeted in at Vin off ob Glenwood. Never take big butteted chics wif nice teef to dis place, oily
tha best will do hear. DA SHEED wuz quiet impressed. Hears tha meal:

1) 2 swank ass hoochies at tha bar drinkin wine(Hello Mary and Beth, see you soon)

2) Muthadustin cook sents out sum squid. Not ass good ass chitlins butt tits alright.

3) Couple on glasses ob "Dessus la carriera". Not bad but dont holds not a muthafuckin candle to
ripple.

4) Red snapper ober crapes an sum green stuff. Not ass good as shad but hell, DA SHEED wuz
ROLLIN!!!

5) Sinces it black history month I hads chocolate cake fo desert. Only black thang I eber ateted.

All in all a fine ass ebenin. So u dun turd it from DA SHEED. Carolina KLASS kan be found at Vin
off Glenwood. Note: There wuz a bum pissin ober near tha railroad tracks. If u c him, throw him a
twenty an say "Teddy says buy gray Ford Pintos". 

How y'all like dat ball game tha other knight, KLASS huh? Peace out.

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 06, 2001 at 10:19:17:


Yo Yo Yo,

Foxman u kant tail des muthafcukers nuffin. Dey dont understand KLASS likes we do duz dey? 

KLASS cums in many foams butt we sees tit in LT, Makthar, Rice, Fox, McNnis(gold toof), Adolf
Oklaja(seig heil muthafucker!!), Snot Williams, JR Reid(Jamal Ratass), Borders(speakin ob borders,
mo ob dat fine weed pleze), Peppers(lobe tha bitch slap at tha all knight bbq palace), Buttsticker,
John Holmes, Bucknall, an many many ober bad ass muthaduxters. carolina nukmber 1!!!! Kant
stand tha KLASS git out ob tha Knapp Buildin fo gverment. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 07, 2001 at 07:33:57:


Yo Yo Yo,

A hard ass starra likes me has gots dem world travels to duz but I still like to rock it wif tha home
boyz bck in Montgomery County. Word has it dat der will be a new soccer complex outside ob
Biscoe.

Yep, 4 fields, hundreds of short/fat/ tanned/ luscious latin ladies will be roottin on such teams as The
Sanford Las Marnias, the Siler City Gross Balncos, The Candor Puntos, and the Asheboro
Whevous. If yo family is tried of HARD ASS HUG LIFE NBA FUN den brings dem down to tha
firSt paved road on tha left when u enter Montgomery County from Moore County on Hwy 24/27.
Where else kan u see carolina KLASS in a 4 foot tall jug of soccer dynimate? Gots it on tha
upswing dat goat meat will be the dish ob tha day an NO PORTA POTTIES will be around(Come
one, come all. See Henrnado Rameirz shit in tha woods!!)

Family fun from my hard ass thug life family to urs. Peace out. 

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head(Rasheed Assan Ela Abhed) on February
12, 2001 at 08:26:05:


Yo Yo Yo,

Doth tha man dun muthafuckin said dat DA SHEED will be havin a new name to celebrate carolina
KLASS and stayin REEL to keep tha man off my ass. Roll heels roll.

Tha muthafuckin wiener is...........(machine gun roll pleaze)..................BEERMAN!!!!! The winning
entry wuz RASHEED ASSAN ELA ABHED= Rasheed, the best ever. (Already newe dat
shit).Always liketed tha hard ass Beerman an his muthafuckin humor. Beerman wins tha free meal at
Second Empire in downtown Raleigh wif DA SHEED. U is welcome to bring ur main hoochie, DA
SHEED gots mad cash an I is lookin to entertain. Beerman I'll be in muthafuckin contact bout times
and so fourth. Love des contestes.

Looks like Matt Daughterty has gots tha heels rollin, I gots one complmant. Wheres tha nut grabbin,
sky walkin, muiddle finger shootin, throat cuttin, student punchin, co ed rappin carolina KLASS dat
Caoch Smif and Coach Gut brought fo us? Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 06, 2001 at 15:44:25:

Yo Yo Yo,

As anober means ob figthen tha man I is thinkin bout changin my name to sometin Islamic. In my
neber endin pursuit of DIVERSITY and TOLERANCE DA SHEED is gonna change my name on
dis broad. 

(Only Islamic names will be accepteted)
I'll be takin a couple of suggestions per day an tha beast suggestion will git to have dinner wif DA
SHEED an one ob my hoochies(this is a real contest, DA SHEED will buy dinner for you at Second
Empire in downtown Raleigh). Muhamad La Sheed, Cream de la Allah Ruothy Sheed etc etc and u
kan be in line to meet DA SHEED an has a kick ass dinner ob tha finest chitlins, hawg maow, turnip
greens and of course a couple ob rounds ob ST IDEAS(Eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas).
Peace out.

Sheed

*Rutherford County citizens are not open to this contest*

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 14, 2001 at 11:52:57:


Yo Yo Yo,

Still woorked up abter seein the E True Hollywood Story bout Carmen Elecktra. Talk bout a rump
shakker, an she be liken tha brothas two!!! 

Couple ob short(nuffin short bout DA SHEED, special wink to Johnston County)poems fo tha fans
on dis day of lobe and dinkin.

Lobe call

Run tha flo, screw tha ho
Catch sum muthafucker at tha back doe.
Dis damn day aint worf a shit,
Halmark is full of crackers and nitwits.
Send dem cards, send dem flowers,
Send sum condoms to tha bitches woorkin abter hours.
A day fo tears and a day fo lobe,
DA SHEED brings u peace likes a dove.


Cupid is a cracker

Fat white boy wif a arrow,
Sorri ass muthabitches ass is narrow.
Got no game but he sura kan fly,
Probably ever seen him axes why.
Shootin arrows aint worf a damn,
Sorri ass cracker is proably in tha klan.

Tha best from me two u. When u oly cares to send tha worst. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on January 11, 2001 at 16:08:20:


Yo Yo Yo,

Ounce an fo all. Dis is tha storie. I wuz NOT beatin tha hell outta my ho(mofera ob my child, we
wont married) out on Franklin Screet. I knows seberal peoples wuz pisseted bout traffic bein
backupeted butt I gave dem sometin to chew on(Gave them the finger, word is DA SHEED
grabbed his nuts at several folks honking the horn, KLASSY). I wuz helpin her to understand dat
when u is talkin to, bout o fo DA SHEED u talks wif RESPECTS cause I is special.

I wood go ass far to say dat I neber whacked her tat all. She wuz mofin off to a carolina STARRA,
nobdoies talks back to a carolina STARRA(Thats right, ask King Rice's girlfriend after she got the
hell knocked out of her when she mouthed off, KLASS) So KLASS you says? Gots dat KLASS,
GOT MY MEDICAL SCOOL ACEPPTANTCE, GOT THA FUNK DUNK, GOT THA St
Ideas(Eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas): NUFF SAID.

Line up dat duke/unc game. I'll eben bring up a few Edwardos fo tha game. KLASS IS AS KLASS
DUZ. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on January 15, 2001 at 08:02:54:


FREE SPEECH, LET IT RING LOUD AND FOREVER IN THIS REPUBLIC!!!!!!

Yo Yo Yo,

I gots a dream. Dat one day HARD NBA THUG LIFE wil lbe accepeted fo mo dan just our
basketball skills butt fo our acute business acumen. We is gonna has to step up an take our place at
da table fo we gits anyting dun.

I gots a dream dat one day unc KLASS ACTS wil lbe alooweted into medical scool based on mo
dan just some idea o theory of educational merit, dat carolina KLASS will be alloweted into medical
scool so dat da "playin field " can be leveled.(Yes, level that playinf field. There arent nearly enough
fat short jewish men in the NBA, OUTRAGE I SAY). 

I gots a dream dat one day NBA THUG LIFE will be locked on fo mo dan just ass skills and
KLASS o our sexual proxass but fo what really counts, MONEY. Money = hoochies an now dat I
is thinkin ob hoochies I gots to cream. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on January 18, 2001 at 12:48:05:


Yo Yo Yo,

Da interivews cointues.


Sheed: Yo Buck. Da word on da screet is dat u new sum reasons dat Hillary frew dat lamp at Bill in
da White House?

Buckley: Reasons have it that Hillary Rodham tossed a lamp at Bill when he asked her a question
concerning her antidisestablishmentarian methods which lead to the failure of the health care plan.

Sheed: So she wuz pisseted?

Buckley: She was angry.

Sheed: If u wuz a bird what kinda bird wood u be?

Buckley: An owl.

Sheed: Why is dat? Cause da owl is wise?

Buckley: NO, HEAVENS NO. Because the owl has the largest penis of any bird. Oh Sheed how
you have worn on me.(Sick chuckle that Buckley makes, you think he is full of phlem)

Sheed: Coupleb ob questions mo den we end dis an play a pick up game u cracker. Hopw douz u
see tha future fo a hard ASS NBA STARRRA like myself?

Buckley:Hummmm.......Well I must say that the large amounts of money that the league currently
brings in and the profit sharing is a clear indicator that the owners are well read in Adam Smith's
"Wealth of Nations". You should can the microwaveable chitlins line of food products and stick to
dunking.

Sheed: One last quextion. If Willie craps in behind tha cornera sto and a mexican craps behind tha
cornera sto wood you favor a civil rights law that wood enshire the right ob EVERY HARD ASS
AMERICAN to shit behind the cornera sto?

Buckley: I can not say for sure because I can not see for the life of me any idea of "craping behind
the corner sto" as being a natural right of man. Clearly Willie and the mexican have the right to crap
but craping on or behind the corner store is a violation of private property rights(Sheed raises eye
brow). Now defication on or behind the corner store is fine and just so long as the crapper or the
crapping has obtained the proper consent of thecrappedon or whose property is being crapped on.
In short you just can not crap where one feels like crapping. Such a "general will" is a sign of
Rosseauian emotion that leads one to crap where and when crapping might not be necessary. Of
course as they say at Yale, "When you have to shit you have to shit"

Thus the interviews concludes with Sheed carrying Buckley out on his shoulders to have a chicken
fight with Coach Smith and Curtis Hunter.

Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on January 24, 2001 at 06:59:04:


Yo Yo Yo,

Until THA MAN lets Rae go I is gonna have WILLIE go on a hunger strike. 

What Willie Wont Bee Eatin 

1)Cheeze Whiz

2)St Ideas(Eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas)

3)Turnip greens

4)Tripe

5)Hawg maow

6)CHITLINS(Say it aint so Joe)

7)The Moore County Phone Directory

8)Rasinettes 

9)butter

10)El gurious las putosel con ferdas de Edwardo(The fine things that are made by the unknown
hands of Edward)


Willie aint gonna(tan wont be able two) have to shit no mo behind tha corner sto, he is puttin it on
tha line fo RAE. FEE RAE NOW, FEE RAE NOW, MATHA RAE NOW, FEE RAE NOW!!

Peace out.


Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on January 03, 2001 at 09:56:35:


Yo Yo Yo,

Dis dey is fo dem tar heels dat wuz once butt aint no mo. Dis is former unc greats dey, we is
gonna be lookin at da bang up carrera ob tha Finnish Knotmare Timo Makkanoen.

Timo Makkanoen(81-84)

Points per game- 0.23(fo year aberage)

Rebounds per game- 0.34(fo year aberage)

ASSists per game- None, cousin Svne couldnts get that info

Depth of the impression Timo's ass made on the chairs while sitting tha bench- 4.2 inches(fo year
aberage)

Number ob Camera angles dat caught Timo's nuts hangin out on tv- Willie says 5, I say 4, the
Mexicans down here say 345

Depth of plaque on Timo's teef- 1.2 inches(berry berry sexy in Nordic land)

How Coach Smif found dis cracker I'll neber know. Some say he wuz tha heir to sum damn
Nordic god's atheltic ability. I say BULLSHULTZ. Timo wuz actually a great industrial scool star
in tha Finnish leagues, dominted tha Elk League(42 points per game, aberage). Upon claimin tha
coverted Finnish Elk League title Timo wuz swept up by tha talent vacum himself Coach
Smif.(Somewhere on tha damn tundra lies a brown trout that Coach Smif no doubt left on his
recruitin trip. My reporters are now on the trail ob that trout, REPORT SOON!!!!) TROUT ON
THA TUNDRA!!!(Sounds like a dish at the Irregardless Cafe)

Timo wuz a crowd favorite at unc. Upon tha tar heels poundin tha hell out of someone tha fans
would yell, "TIMO, TIMO, TIMO, TIMO". At dat monment Timo wood bust onto tha court an
committ bout 4 or 5 fouls, miss 3 layups and cause havcko in general. His defense wuz nuffin like
tha Mannherim Line(Defense line built in 1937-38 to fend off the large scale Soviet attacks upon
Finland during the Russo-Finnish wars from 38-40). In short, Timo wont worf a shit.

Where he be now? My reporteras found Timo collecting needle nose plyers and still trying to
master Missile Command for the Atari game system(Timo checkout Ken Uston's Home Video
83- The 20 Best NEW Games and How to Beat Them PLUS 5 GREAT CLASSICS- Your one
guide to the newest of the Home Video Games, The Latest Techincal breakthroughs and
challenges). Timo libes in various places and he is still trying to market Viking Food on a fast food
scale(rack of lamb to go please). Timo had dis to say to my reoprts. "I couldnts do wha Coach
Smith had intended for me to do. I loved unc and all the fine learning I obtained there. I miss the
fans. I miss the university. I miss the town. HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU GET PAST LEVEL
8???" When my reporters axed Timo bout his name he had dis two say, "Timo stands for
"Glorious Volk" and Makkanoen stands for "Rubber filled vile composed of wretched sheep
intestine baked to a fine brown crust"" All hail Finland muthafucker.

Well dats where dey be, makin dera way in tha world today. U axed fo tit, you got it-Golorious
Volk Rubber filled vile composed of wretched sheep intestine baked to a fine brown crust. Peace
out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on December 12, 2000 at 18:24:09:

Yo Yo Yo,

Been busy. Mo song(an slong fo tha LADIES, no mo visits down Hwy 70) fo u.

12 Edwardos pimpin,

11 Chitlins STEAMIN,

10 tatoos runnin,

9 ho's a humin,

8 stippers beggin,

7 trouts a floatin,

6 co'eds wooin,

5 muthafuckers booin,

4 bitches humpin,

3 Lexus' thunppin,

2 Homeboy's rappin,

AND 

1 CASE OF ST IDEAS(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas) in tha hood fo me.


Watch out fo tha fat ass white man in red breakin in ur house. Word from up on high to dose below.


Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on December 01, 2000 at 08:51:11:


Yo Yo Yo,

24 mo shoppin daze til it is time fo sum white man in red(FUCK THA PACK!!)to slip his fat ass
into tha hood wif presents and bottles ob wine. I just wanteted two lay out dis list fo tha fans(I lobes
u all) of DA SHEED. I WANTS MUTHAFUCKIN PRESESNTS!!

Sheed Kristmas Wish List(WORD UP COTTON TEAM)

1)The Operation Game by Hemco(you all recall this game, body with a red nose and you had to
pick out bones and stuff without setting off the buzzer)

2)The Greatest Hits of El Debarge(Oh Oh Oh oh Shelia!!!)

3)Tickets to the 9th Annual Sardine Festival in betiful Aberdeen Norf Carolina

4)A poster of Barry Manilow

5)Anober tattoo of Julila Child grating cheese

6)Tha crowd at The Top of The Hill in Chapel Hill to put my face on tha roof(gold toof showin)

7)Want Pat Sullivan's brofer to hook me up wif his supplier of blunts(Yo Ryan, I gots dis need fo
sum blunts eber since Coach Smif broke into my stash)

8) I want sum ob doze doctors ober at unc to git Julius Peppers hooketed up wif sum braces(damn
look at doze teef, I bet dat guy can munch sum apples. Gots horse teef)

9)D Rock down in Alexandria La a hummer. No not a hummer likes chics wif nice smiles gibes but
a Hummer, military hummer. Gravy train dun fucketed up D Rock. See u in a few weeks.

10)All tha ladies dat comes to dis website to place letters of lobe and best wishes to tha only
HARD ASS THUG LIFE MALE dat puts up posts(We'll call them Sheed's Letters of Lust and
Love) . Dats me, DA SHEED.


Better git my presents O tha aint gonna be no happymuthafuckinholidaies. Peace out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 28, 2000 at 13:51:48:

In Reply to: Beamer, Beamer, where art thou Beamer? posted byPaul on November 28, 2000 at
13:10:23:

:Yo Yo Yo,

A tasty dish you say,
I neber ateted dem when I wuz away.
Doze hawgs grows good an dey grows strong,
Dey gots cork screw pricks fo slongs.

I saweted dis European flim one time,
Girls wif hawgs doin just fine.
Dey said it wuz made in France or someplace,
I coulda sworn it wuz souf of Carroboro down at Dean's place.

So eat doze feet an watch dem movies,
Hangin in da Hill is kinda groovies.
Whose gonna coach my heels to anober banner year,
Probably sum shit ass white boy dats half queer.

Peace out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 28, 2000 at 10:06:31:

In Reply to: Funny how attendence discussions of football went quiet.... posted bySub-Woofers on
November 28, 2000 at 09:18:47:

:Yo Yo Yo,

Somemuthafuckinbody said sometin bout graduation. I hads to chim in on dat shit. I gots a couple of
rexuests;

1) I shoold be accetpeted to unc medical scool.

2) I shoold be giben my degree cause of da monies I bought into tha university.

3) My quote, "Coach said it was a big TRANSACTION between high school and college but I
made dat two." Mo womens, mo food. mo wine, mo chitlins, mo crumpets.(ACTUAL QUOTE)

Garduation I says, cap and muthafuckin gown!! Peace out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 28, 2000 at 08:35:55:


Yo Yo Yo,

Dis day is fo dem unc starras dat wuz once butt aint no mo. Todaies is formera unc greats day. We
is gonna gander ats day feebeled carrera ob Jim Braddock(Thats Jimmy to Woody Durham)


The feather haired cracker from Bendskank Virginia wuz a high scoll legand in Western Va. Dis
wuz fo Oak High and all dat shit. Jim held high scool and conference scoring records(DA SHEED
gots a few scoring records two!!). His secret wuz to turn the heat up in the visiting teams locker
room before they showed up. Jim wood then take a large dump thus stinking up da entire locker
room an causin vapor lock int tha oppents sinus passages. Abter Coach Smif heard dat he new Jim
wuz destinted fo unc fame.

Jim Braddock(unc 1980-1983)Stats

Points per game(3 year aberage)- 9.3

Rebounds per game(3 year aberage)- 2.1

Amount of VO 5 hair spary useted fo da game on dat head- 45.3 ounces(dis wuz abter
flurocarbons wuz removeted)

Height ob socks on leg(3 year aberage)- 12 inches(like DA SHEED)(TUBE SOCKS IS DA
BOMB)

Abter takin his stinkin ass to unc an thus causin untold damage to the noses of hundreds of NCAA
basketball players Jim moveted into business. Jim wuz part of tha 1982 UNC NATIONAL
CHAMPIONS(word has tit dat Jim wuz not sceen in any pictures caus he wuz countin dingel
berries on his teammates). Jim wuz not hard to find, he currently runs(pun intended) a spetic service
out Elkin Norf Carolina. When axed but his unc experiment Jim had dis to say, "I knew and Coach
Smith knew that if our two asses came together then someone would be hurting. I cant say enough
about those days siting besides Coach Smith in a stall at Carmicheal and takin a large relaxing
dump. We won a national title, we won a large percentage of our games and we caused a 4 fold
incease in the capacity of the Chapel Hill/ Carrboro waste water treatment plant during my time at
unc. We bonded." Now dats KLASS and SUCESSES if u is axin DA SHEED. 

Eberyday and in eberyway unc alumni is makin tha difference in a town near u. Makin a diffrences
an makin dera way in tha world. Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 27, 2000 at 07:37:29:

Yo Yo Yo,

Yep, many many muthafuckin years ago dis HARD ASS STARRA wuz born. Todies is my birfday.
Lets all singamuthafuckinlong.

"Tappy birfday two Sheed"
"Tappy birfday two Sheed"
"I gots unc klass fo da ladies and my loins is in need"

Tank u berry much. I miss my fans, dis is what I want from u fo my birfday.

Sheed Birfday Requesteted

1) Picture ob Flip Wilson nakked
2) Roll ob nickles
3) New and Updated Moore County Phone directory
4) Onions dippeted in canry sauce
5) Fully cleaned, soaked and de corned chitlins
6) Best ob DeBarge CD
7) New rims fo DA LEXUS wif tha best of Bach on CD ass well
8) A full collection ob Benny Hill's greatest hits(This can be purchased by sending $9.95 to some
damn wharehouse in Richmond Virginia)
9) While u be at it, I wants "Girls Gone Wild" video.
10) Yep u guesseted tit. 10 CASES OB ST IDEAS(Eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas)

Eberybody gots a birfday. Today unc KLASS and uprights attitudes wuz born. Word from up on
high ttwo doze below. Brain Buttsticker looks cute in his picture. Peace out.


Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 21, 2000 at 10:16:30:


Yo Yo Yo,

I know u tall ben waitin fo tha return of DA SHEED from tha norf. I is back an man what a
muthafuckin trip. I gots a bit to go fru so hang wif me my little bitches.


(First 3 days were a bit of Cultural Confusion)

Nov 13- I packeted tha muthafuckin Lexus wif guns, old hoochie numberas(Yep, stoppeted in an
saw a few), map, St Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas), poletistis(what dat?), an my
bitch magnet.

Headeted out an gots up dera at bout 5 turdy. Dey misseted me.

Nov 14- I always turd tit wuz lilly white up norf but DAMN!! Taint sceen dat many white folks
since HARD ASS John Tesh came to Walnut Creek. Hooketed wif my old home boyz and
checketed out tha LADIES. Mo Hoss' Hess', Horst's, Bunrgurgers, Fishers, Guntrils, Holdenstris,
and Klines dan a Hitler Youth rally. (Special "Hello" to Shelia at the Turkey Hill market off of 772)

Nov 15(1st Day of Confusion)- My main muthabitches told me were going hang out sum. Dis is
what threw DA SHEED off. Muthafuckers said we wuz gonna go hang out in Intercourse, I said
"HELL MUTHAFUCKIN YEAH- dis might be like sum of dem abter game parties". We droveted
down tha road(lots of crackers eberywhere- sum were drivin carts and sum were drivin cars.) ass I
gots woorketed up fo intercourse(isint dat a race game from Sega?). Dey said, "Sheed this is
Intercourse, how do you like it?" I said two dem fuckers "Dis taint no intercourse I recalls. Dey aint
no rump shakker ass's and dey aint no blondes wif lussiso lips". Tha only thang in Intercourse dat
wuz like intercourse wuz something hangin from Horst Wessel's cart pullin horse up front holdin up
tha Lexus.(AND NO ST IDEAS--->eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas). I did se 2 goats
screwing(no mexicans round)

NO LOWRIDERS!!! Talk bout a place in kneed of culture.

Needless to say dis day endeted in sadness(no chitlins, no funk dunks, nuffin). I did buys a nice loaf
of bread.

Nov 16(2nd Day of Confusion)- Abter a HARD ASS knight of no intercourse my home byz said
sometin bout goin to Blue Ball. I GOTS DAT!! No mo Blue Ball fo me. Dun had dat fo an we
HARD ASS NBA STARRAS taint useted to dat shit(Where's a strip club when you need one?)
Me and tha boyz wuz gittin a little pissetd den dey said sometin bout BirdinHand. I said "U throwin
me tha bird?" Muthafuckin fight ensued!! Abter a case o 4 of fine ass sheep nuts we settled dow nfo
da rest of tha trip. Plenty of daze of hell rasinin, dunkin, roustin, sky walkin, dung mostin, shit
spreadin, corn pickin, rock stackin, bird flappin HARD ASS THUG LIFE in Lancaster County.

Nov 17-I saweted corn.

Summary

1) NO ST IDEAS(Eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas) in Lancaster County.

2) Buena Vista, VIRGINia has a hot blonde woorkin at tha Hardess off of 501

3) Intercourse taint what I always thought it wuz. I neber knew intercourse invloved bearded men
named Jacob riding in carts.

4) Blueball has nuffin to due wif intercourse. Bof blueball and intercourse involveeted beard men wif
funny breads and names but dey taint related. Dey is no THUG LIFE in intercourse and blueball but
THUG LIFE kan have intercourse and blueball. Duz dat make sense?

5)I befriended Malicke Stoneburger. He raises corn, runs a dairy and cuts about 48 acres of silage.
He gots a HARD ASS TATTOO now, it says "MILK OR DEATH".

GLAD TO BE HOME!! Back in tha action. Sorry to see TorBUSH go. Tailblazers numbera 1!
Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 13, 2000 at 20:41:57:

In Reply to: Sheed waers halves u bean? posted byHillbilly Jack on November 13, 2000 at
19:18:58:

:Yo Yo Yo,

Hillbilly Jack u cracker!!! DA SHEED has ben given my knowledge two all my fans(I lobes u all) an
cold chillin. Just been hangin out(its been hangin out two) and gittin ready fo da season. 

DA SHEED is gittin little tried of postin all da damn time. I tinks I gots a cold PLUS I gots sum
travellin to do. Heres a muthafuckin list of tha places I be headin and cold chillin ober tha next few
months.

Sheed's Travel Plans 

1) Lancaster County, Pa--> Home ob mo crackers da tha Kebbler Factory. Hell dey so few
brothers up hera tits bout like an episode of Andy Griffith

2) Alexandria, La--> DA SHEED main mamma jamma be down dera. Gots to hang wif my main
homie. Gonna drink sum St Ideas(Eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas) fuck wif da frenchys,
and teach D Rock bout how he screweted up his genetic gravy train.

3) Sacrameto, Ca--> Anbother one of my muthabitches be hangin in S town. Gots to head out dera
an teach dat bitch a lesson on da court. Bitchslaps cumin down.

4) Richmond, Va--> Old hoochie up dera calleted me tha ober knight. BOOTIE CALL!!

5) Baltimore, Md--> Anober HOOCHIE, dis one is wild an exoctic. 

6) Illedelphia, Pa--> Gots to go see mom an c if she still gots my Viagra hid in tha lards. Willie is
probably still shittin on tha cornera.

Well my fans, DA SHEED is gona be round a bit hera and dera. Gonna gits dat interview wif
Buckley up in a few daze. Brain Buttsticker I aint fogot u. Tailblazers numbera 1!!! Peace out.


Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 09, 2000 at 14:45:31:

In Reply to: Re: Rhymes and Versus Day(Its back) posted byPlease read. on November 09, 2000
at 12:47:59:

Yo Yo Yo,

FYI yo self muthafucker!!! So DA SHEED kant put forth carolina KLASS? Why is tit eberytime
sum body gits pisseted dey calls me racist, and so forth? Nuff wrong wif sayin redneck o sometin
like dat but DA SHEED will not stop.

1) So what if I gibes kids free tickes to a HARD ASS NBA game? Dey kan shows up an see me
put dat CAROLINA KLASS on display fo eberyone(lead NBA in techs last year and broke
Dennis Rodman's record, class)

2) Racist? Me? Dont tink so. Maybe just muthaufkcin maybe I am showin a bit of urban THUG
LIFE dat middle klass cracker white bread snotty ass muthabitches is missin out on? Want
DIVERSITY, I AM MUTHAFUCKIN DIVERSITY!!

3)I is with u dera on tha statement bout how money = klass. So da mo money someone makes dat
means their personalmuthafuckin worf goes thru da roof(RAISE DA ROOF, RAISE DA ROOF)?
Dat makes prefect senses.

4) So u be tried of dis shit? Say I is unorginal? 
Tuff luck. I gots to say dis, kiss my high flyin, sky walkin, sugar gittin ,Lexus drivin, hoochie gittin
,kid bearin, tatto havin, doctor daughter screwin, Former unc greater interviewin, Franklin screet
cruisin, Rosseau readin, Buckley interviewin ASS. 

Word from up on high two dose below. Goin fishin fo da brown trout. Tailblazers number 1! Peace
out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 09, 2000 at 08:17:24:


Yo Yo Yo,

Da interview wif Buckley will be finisheted up in a few days. Muthafuckin dawg ob mine ateted the
scripte an now I gots to fly back up to git wif dat cracker. 

Well well, ben long time since I hads Rhymes and Versus Day. Hear it be fo u to enjoy my little
bitches.


Front Row Bitches

Fo on da flo is what day say,
DA SHEED's on da mobe, I dont play.
Runnin down tha court starin at da sky,
Gonna git one of dem blondes, dats no lie.
A dunk then a hook goin in,
"Damn dat girl is fine, I'd screw her if she wo kin".


The Time I Came Home to Philly and an Old Ho I Used to Hook With Saw Me and Wanted Some
Money(Yes thats the Title)

Push it out, push it in.
Grabs da chitlins we is gonna win.
Storm tha do and head fo da screet,
Dat ho is abter my meat.
Calls me names and calls me words,
She just mad cause I mobeted to tha burbs.
So I hooked wif her when I wuz young,
I hooked wif her often,
I wuz hard, I didnt git soft den.
Now she wants my stuff and kant stand to see me go,
U always screws up when u hook wif ho's.


Funk Dunk

Powerful
Bery Powerful
Damn Bery Powerful
Looksout Damn Bery Powerful
Funk Dunk


Fit It

Here be da story ob a thug named SHEED,
Grabbin tha hoop doin misdeeds.
Runnin tha court hopin each day,
Coach Smif droppeted a trout dat wont go away.
Chillin and rollin lookin fo sum LADIES,
Damn I miss Funky Cold Medenia back in tha 80's.
Moveted on up, headin to tha top,
I tinks I is goin back to tha tattoo shop.
Git a picture , git a story
Tattos is cool axe ol Torri(Torri Wells).
A STARRA is born an a STARRA is breed,
Eat my crumpets an u be full of lead.(Tea and crumpets, ohh such a fine meal for a hard ass NBA
star)

Wel ldats sum mo HARD ASS RHYMES FROM DA SHEED. Glad to keep my fans infomed on
da life ad times of the empitom of CAROLINA KLASS. TAILBLAZERS NUMBER 1! Peace
out.


Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 06, 2000 at 15:45:59:

In Reply to: Re: Damien Wilkins is the most posted byNaN on November 06, 2000 at 15:00:12:

:Yo Yo Yo,


LOOK. Whas up wif da Wikins family? Da father gots a gap in his teef, I kan see dat cause he
greweted up a poor ass muthabitch down in Washington Norf Carolina(Golden Skillet in Plymouth
ROCKS!!). Whats da dea lwif Damien an him be haben a gap in his teef? His papa gots millions an
he kant eben git his son a set of HARD ASS BRACES fo dem teef?

DA SHEED will send Damien sum money fo braces. It a poor ass shame when da sons of HARD
ASS NBA STARRAS kants have skraght teef. BRAIN BUTTSTICKER WE MISS U. Peace
out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 05, 2000 at 18:00:26:


Yo Yo Yo,

Fo dose of u dat has ben waitin fo da rest of dis interview, hear it be. Enjoy my bitches.


Mr Buckley: Mr Wallace. Would you please explain to me in terms that most men would
understand as the the nature of "poo poo"?

Sheed: U tailin me dat u dont know what poo poo is?

Mr Buckley: I have simply asked you to explain the term and what it describes if you would please
sir.

Sheed: Man, tha work of HARD ASS NBA STARRAS neber ends. Poo poo is what helps make
babies.

Mr Buckley: OH, yes I most certainly do like poo poo. 

Sheed: Kan I call u Slick, Mr Buckley?

Mr Buckley: As one moves to call me "Slick" then one would certainly deny me the name and title
that my parents put forth some 70 years ago as a means to identify my origins. But yes you can call
me Slick.

Sheed: U is alright to be such a stuffy ass cracker.

Mr Buckley: Thank you Mr Wallace.

Sheed: Yo Slick, has u eber run up hard on sum hot womens and tried to impress dem by gittin a
tattoo?

Mr Buckley: It is certainly absurd to place a picture of an object on one's arm, chest, back, leg, or
buttocks to claim some sort of "fame". Tattos, in my opinion, are superficial claims to some type of
uniqueness that the individual in question sems to be lacking.

Sheed: Did you justeted say u donts like tatoos?

Mr Buckley: No Mr Wallace. I just put forth my opinion concerning a timeless tradition in which
total dolts paint or cover their bodies with art work with the intent and design of impressing those
with weak minds and intellects.

Sheed: Ok, butt ass long as u say u be liki ntattos dat be fine wif me.

Sheed: Lets mobe into anober section of detail(detail, deplane, denile etc etc) in which u might be
able to impress my fans(I lobes u). 

Mr Buckley:(To be continued- this week)

Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 01, 2000 at 07:17:48:


Yo Yo Yo,

Dis day is fo dem unc starras dat wuz once but aint no mo. Dis is former unc greats day. Todaies
we is gonna be looking at tha humours carra ob Scott Cherry.

The usuals high scool legenda out of New York, Scott(known as Snot to his elememtary scool
mates) gots one of dem carolina scholarships. Yes, dis limp wristed flit boy gots a FULL RIDE to
unc fo basketball. Word has tit dat Scott(Snot) shit in his pants when we wuz in tha 3rd grade,
some says he is scared fo life(I is THUG FO LIFE). Anober cracker wif high grades.

Scott Cherry(91-94)

Points per game- 1.3(fo year aberage)

Rebounds per game- 0.7(fo year aberage)

ASSists per game- 0.4(fo year aberage)

Number of times the camera flashed him on tv thus revealing large beaver teeth- 132(sum total)

Distance between Scott Cherry and Matt Wenstrom(while sitting on the bench)- think about it

How many licks it took for Scott(Snot) to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop- 74(Linda
Lovelace would be proud)

NUMBER OF TIMES DA SHEED DUNKED ON DIS CRACKER IN PRACTICE- TOO
MFing high to count

Well well well, abter a carerra ats unc where he did nuffin Scott(Snot) moveted on to bigger and
better thangs. My reportas covereted dis one berry well. Scott(Snot) useted his degree in
economics/business/industrial relations to open a chain of Viking Food Resturants across dis great
muthafuckin land. Dey has gots bout 56 franchises from coast to muthafuckin coast(Rack of lamb to
go please!!) No word on chitlins o collard greens. My reportas axed Scott(Snot) bout his life and
his buzines since he left unc(left unc, I think that is one hell'va pun). "Gosh, I do not know where to
begin. School was wonderful, Coach Smith was great as well. I just can not say enough about the
lessons I learned at unc. How to win and how to lose(And if you loose how to make excuses). It
sadden me to leave unc but they prepared me for life. GO HEELS!!" If u is axin DA SHEED i tinks
dis is anober case of a looser crakcer havin gone off da deep end. Dis guy kept axin bout Matt
Wenstrom, why duz I keep doin dis stuff? Scott(Snot) has his operations baseted out of Meridian
Mississippi(Good Times- M I crooked letter crooked letter I crooked letter crooked letter I hump
back hump back I), word his tit dat knot eberyone in dis country is quiet up fo rack of lamb to
go(Ass dey say in Philly, "NO SHIT").

Well dera u has tit, unc makin dera way in da world today. Anober display ob carolina klass and
honor. Peace out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 31, 2000 at 19:14:20:


Yo Yo Yo,

Its Hallomuthafuckinween down hera in DA HOOD!!!! I gots tricks fo da kids and treats fo da
ladies. Mo gouls and goblins runnin round hera dan on check day. Heres what i gots fo da kids.


DA SHEED'S Halloween List

1) Ebery kid gits a 40 of St Ideas(Eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas)

2) Each childruns be gitti na picture ob Coach Smif droppin a trout

3) Ebery little mamma jamma will gits a bottle of DA SHEED'S LOVE POTION NUMBERA 9

4) Each will gits an autographed picture of Bob Newhart(u know, dat cracker wif tha comb over)

5) And ebery childruns will git a picture of DA SHEED wearin his best and brightest lesiure suit.

LAST AND KNOT LEAST- Ebery childrun will git a continer of Summer's Eve(JR Reid- I beins
in mo hot blondes dan summer's eve)

Good luck wif da candy, its time fo DA SHEED to go do to do myself. Peace out.


Sheed


Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 30, 2000 at 16:04:13:

Yo Yo Yo,

Gots off da calmputer fo I said dis.

Now what has I said bout Edwardos oder dan they drink BUDWISER, eat goat meat(I ateeted
goat meat, dam good), shit in tha woods, likes fat blonde white women, drive LTD's as well as
space ship lookin carras?

What has I said bout tha BROTHAS? Nuffin.

I has been sayin a few tings bout tha crackers. Did u read tha interview wif Buckley? Probably not u
bitchass. Damn turd buglar. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 30, 2000 at 15:58:40:


Yo Yo Yo,


Justeted when u taughts tha muthafuckin good ship lolly pop wuz gonna float along, hear be cumin
all dis shit bout racism and fags. I'll make dis as muthafcukin HARD ASS breif as I kan.

DA SHEED will ALWAYS, and I mean MUTHAFUCKIN ALWAYS, hold FREEDOM OB
SPEECH near an muthafuckin dera. I talks bout tings peoples(my fans, I lobes u all) be wantin to
here. So I talks bout da numbera ob fags in Carraboro, is that not tha HARD ASS muthafuckin
truf? U go droppin ur wallet ober dera in Carraboro u be gittin an early Christmas present. Dan "the
fag" go c Matt Wenstrom next time u is lonely. Freedom ob speech wins again.

HARD ASS THUG LIFE is what I am screamin. Kant give u tha urban edge? U dont like my
ebonics? I is justeted talkin tha way dose ob us dat came ups in. How u say, "a mo DIVERSE way
ob lookin at tings?" We kant all be tha muthafuckin daugthers of lawyers and doctors from
Charlotte(I gots sum of dim dauthers two when I wuz in scool). Bottom line is dis, u kant take tha
carolina KLASS kan u? Kant handle dis KLASS ACT, u lobed me when I wuz shakkin and
bakkin ob dera in tha Dean Doom. URBAN EDGE FOEBER!

Dera u has tit. THUG LIFE and carolina KLASS cumin right at ya. Dont like tit, dont read tit. Dis
muthafuckin society is gonna has to be critical or it gonna burn to tha ground. Nuff ob dis shit, I gots
hoochies to git and I tink I knee anober tatoo. Word from up on high. Peace out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 29, 2000 at 16:54:04:


Yo Yo Yo,

Cause I wuz taught ats unc to be educmatcated I figuereted dat I wood has dis special interview wif
da famous king of slurred speech and conservativism William F. Buckley. Away we go wif anober
stif cracker.

Sheed: Mr Buckley, duz u eber grimance when u is bout to drop a brown trout?

Buckley: Why Mr Wallace no. I am constantly worrying too much about the central casues of
antidisestablimentarianism in Moldavia to ever make a face that would indicate any such emotion.

Sheed: I'll be a muthabitch. Eberybodies makes a face when dey drops da trout. Is u be sayin dat u
dont be makin no face?

Buckley: Sir I beg too your relent that I do not and have not at anytime in my life made a face when
I am in the process of what you might call , "dropping the brown trout".

Sheed: Ok, next muthafuckin question. Why duz crackers like Republicans and HARD ASS THUG
life support the Democrats?

Buckley: The answer might be found in looking through your history book( at this point DA SHEED
gits confused). One might look into the reliance of some groups upon justice from a centralized
authority while other groups might not have developed such a dependance upon a force of such a
leveling nature as the federal government. (Sheed claws his nose for a big one)

Sheed: Does dis mean dat crackers dont be liken gvernment cheese?

Buckley: Why no. Crackers have been known to go very well with cheese. 

Sheed: I likes tha muthafuckin hell out of crackers and cheese, gives me dat shit wif sum
Thunderbird o St Ideas(Eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas). Yum muthafuckin yum.

Sheed: Yo Buckley, has u eber made lobe to a hot blonde dat wauz the entertainer of tha month at
the DollHouse?

Buckley: Well......... As one looks toward physical satisfaction to gain some sort of relief in life then
one tends to over look or abuse the inner healing that one might obtain from sexual restraint.

Sheed: Did u justeted say u dont like poo poo?

Buckley:(NEXT WEEK-TO BE CONTINUED)

Peace out.

Sheed





Follow Ups 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 26, 2000 at 17:39:04:


Yo Yo Yo,

U is really axin me, HARD ASS NBA THUG LIFE STARRA, two bash Queen Anne? Who dat
bitch be an who muthafuckin cares? DA SHEED only talks and sky walks bout tha facts of urban
life. 

DA SHEED aint gots no time fo dat shit. Man, if u only new how i wuz woorkin hard to git into
medical scool abter I wins dat NBA ring u woodnt brother me wif dat shit. Why waste my
muthadustin, Lexus drivin, Hoochie gittin, Edwardo bashin, rump shakker rubbin, tattoo gittin,
turnip/chitlin,collar green eatin, carolina klass loven ass on a stupid bitchass dat had her first sexual
experiment in tha parkin lot of Speedy's BBQ in Lexington? 

Dont bofer me no mo wif dat stuff. Now if u be havin sum fine ladies, dats anober story all togehera.
Peace out.


Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 26, 2000 at 17:46:02:


Yo Yo Yo,

StateGirl u is so fine, fine likes a butter milk biscuit. I wood rub u all ober till u saids stop. I wood
makes u feel like a woman dat has been lobed. How kan I git wif u? I is willin to dos anyting fo just
a chance ats havin u be my lady fo one knight. 

Takes yo pity on dis HARD ASS NBA STARRA an falls fo da carolina KLASS dat i bring forth
froms ebery fiber of my fine muthafuckin skin. Maybes u could reads to me bout neo marxist
feminist writers that helped support Daniel Ortega in the 80's, I kan show u a picture of sum
mexicans shittin in tha woods. What u say? Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 17, 2000 at 07:24:56:


Yo Yo Yo,

U knows I ateted liver mush a few weeks ago. I also dranketed sum buttermilk. Nasty ass shit dat
buttermilk. I has ben shitin an gitin fo bout 2 daze. I'll reopt back when I feels bettera. Dis HARD
ASS NBA STARRA has gots to gits better. Peace out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 19, 2000 at 16:07:18:


Yo Yo Yo,

Dis day is fo dem unc starras dat wuz once butt aint no mo. Dis is former unc greats day. Dis
muthafuckin day we is lookin at the humourass carrea of Matt Winstrom.

Matt wuz a prescool legend from Texass. In tha words of his middle scool coach, "Matt might have
been the biggest, dumbest, and most akward child this school has ever seen. Talk about retards, he
was always riding the short yellow bus". Yep, DA SHEED is wif u dera, I dunketed on his ass back
in one of dem legenadry unc alumni pick up games.

Stats and Figures fo Matt

Points per game- 1.3(fo year aberage)

Rebounds per game- 1.2(fo year aberage)

ASSists per game- muthafuckin none

Time spent sitting beside Scott Cherry on tha bench- 78 hours, 13 minutes and 23 seconds

Times he and Scott Cherry kissed and touched each other when a unc player had a big play(you all
know this, thats when the bench warmers all jump around and act foolish when unc makes a play)-
12(not dat I wuz countin but hell man, dem boyz wuz TIGHT)

Kan u believe dis cracker went on to a HARD ASS LIFE in tha NBA? Yep, tha Boston Celtic
picketed up his worthless ass in tha 7th round. Not much heard from Matt on tha NBA sceen,
though dey is still talkin bout dat time Matt fell down versus Georgia Tech in a regular season game
back in 93. Abter a HARD ASS life of NBA starrdom Matt moveted on to become a lard
salesman in tha Carroboro area. Matt expressed suprises to my reporta concernings his successs
sellim lard. "Much like Dave Popson I cant believe all the lard I am selling in the Orange County
area, especially Carrboro. These people really dont eat biscuits and a ton of single men are buying
this lard. I cant figure out what they are using it for.(DA SHEED will tells u, sumbody is gittin dera
bung hole greased). My business is alot like Dave Popson(Butter King of Duesseldorf), he sells
butter, I sell lard.
Without the teachings of Coach Smith I would have never gone on to such a level of success. Hats
off to Dean, FREE LARD FOR YOU!!" 

DA SHEED dont knows bout dat lard shit but I kan tellu dis, Matt is still on goofy ass muthafucker.
Gots da frat boy hair and so forth. Why do I keep doing dis shit, de mo unc greats I does tha mo
depresseted I git. Hope u al lenjoyed dis little piece of unc klass and sucess. Peace out.

Sheed 



Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 12, 2000 at 20:29:56:


Yo Yo Yo,

I still is in trainin butt I gots to say dis two Damon Thorton and his fine ass drivin skills(DA SHEED
got skills, axes dem blondes in Eringhouse Dome).

U is one hard ass thug life livin, Spots utlity wreckin, gap toofed muthafucker. How didnts u come
to unc, we needs mo hard ass thug life. Word up Damon.

Gots to pull fo dem heels dis weekend. Later bitches, DA SHEED be coolin down fo da season
begins. Peace out.


Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 13, 2000 at 16:45:44:

Yo Yo Yo,

Looks likes da webmaster has not quiet seen wherea DA SHEED be cumin from. Coolin down is
70's hard ass talk fo 80's and 90's talk othermuthafuckinwise knowns as "cold chillin". Examples:
"Yo Yo u all. I is fixin tha be cold chillin".(If you really want to get a kick out of this use a
midwestern accent). Coolin down is also Southern Pines and Pinehurst talk fo what stuck up
yankeefied cracker ass lily white norfeastern trash dids abter a game of lawn cricket in tha
greater(lesser) Moore County area. I hope a mexican shits in dera patio.

Miller Lite is fo limp wristeted weany wappin Playboy pages stuck together calus palmed flit boyz. 

I apologies two my fans(I lobes u all) fo not be mo active lately on tha lady sceen, tha court or dis
websight. I is woorkin on a few tings an I'll be cold chillin and bustin moves all ober da place in a
few mo weeeks. When I gits back into tha mood, I'll be in mo hot blondes dan summer's
eve.<--------- JR(Jamal Ratass)Reid line, its a gooden. Peace out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 13, 2000 at 16:51:00:

Yo Yo Yo,

Next time u is on ur way to Florida Syrancuse fans, stop offs down hera an let me whip tha cowboy
shit outta ya. 

Kant take carolina klass, kant take unc superiority in sports and acedmics? Whats wrong? I guess i
taint ass smart as Derrick Coleman(NOW THATS a smart Syrancuese gradute) but i dids git into
medicals scool. Word to tha mutha. Mo carolina klass dan a man kan stand. Word from up on high
to dose below. Peace out. 

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 15, 2000 at 10:11:37:

Yo Yo Yo,

Damn what a muthafuckin game. I aint see mo blondes pisseted off since George Micheal said he
wuz gay(Wham! sales went thru da flo). Dis HARD ASS NBA STARRA came to dera rescues.

Dera i wuz, walkins down Fanklin Screet when des hot blondes(keep tinkin Summer's Eve) wuz
walkin towards me. Fo u new tit a couple of mexicans that woorked fo Bland Landscaping(an
wearing NC State sweet shirts) started hittin on dose hot blondes(all childruns of doc o lawyers out
of Charlotte). DA SHEED had to come to dera rescue. I bounced sum knuckles off da first
Edwardos head den I threw one thru tha window of the Hub Ltd.(dats not LTD as in the carra dat
Ford makes). Da rest of dem Edwardos ran fo cover in da bushes on Rosemary Screet(probably
took a shit).

So dear u has tit. DA SHEED savin hot blondes from da ravages of NC State suportin, yard
mowin, pine straw spreadin, goat meat eatin, soccer ball kickin, maracchi listin, BUDWISER
drinkin Edwardos. So tha heels only scorted 20 Saturday knight, DA SHEED scoreted 3 blondes
an a case of da crabs. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 04, 2000 at 16:14:35:


Yo Yo Yo,

I justteted wanbted to share a great ting I ateted tha ober day wif you(my fans). I wuz out in
Rutherfordton Norf Carolina when I wents into dis little old sto. 

Dera wuz a couple of old ass crackers cookin round a skillet. I could not believes dey dids knot
know dat I am a HARD ASS NBA STARRA. I axes round fo sum 40's an dey saids, "We dont
have any 40's but we have sum fressh liver mush". I saids, "Yo cracker, kan I tries sum of dat liver
mush. Do it be better dan chitlins and hawg moaw?" I decidested to try tha liver mush.

MUTHAFUCKIN GOOD!!! Damn I ateted bout 3 lbs of dat stuff. I liketetd it so much I filled up
tha Lexus wif liver mush. I kinda eben tooks a liken to dem old crackers cookin tha liver mush. Old
farts might be white but dey alright. 

Next time I has a party at da pad its gonna be 40's, chitlins, hot butt and liver mush. Peace out.

Sheed 



Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on September 29, 2000 at 14:20:14:

Yo Yo Yo,

Yerp. I is down hera wif my brothas on a little ass vacations. Jusat cold chill, knockin a bit of hot
butt and drink muthafuckin cold ass St Ideas(eberytin is MO BETTER wif St Ideas). Morrow we is
goin to tha LSU-Tenn footbal game, eatin a few chitlins and I ting we is gonna eat sum crawdads.

Note of mucho muthafuckin impotenece: Best palace to buy St Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER wif
St Ideas) in tha greater(lesser) Atlanta area is tha Texaco near Villa Rica. Tha lady befind tha
coounrter is Shirely an she useteted to work in Hillsbourgh NC on a dairy farm. Shes gots false teef
and a hot butt PLUS she be sellin tha hell out of sum cold St Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St
Ideas).

I be back fo long my little bitches. Peace out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on September 23, 2000 at 16:29:37:

Yo Yo Yo,


Hell my littles biutches. Tits bout 4 o muthafuckin clock an me and da boyz is drinkin cod ass
muthafuckin St Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas)down here at da rib festivel in butaful
Tega Kaye Souf Karolina.

Man, da ribs is damn good, dera is mo ass here dan a donkey sale, and I tinks I is gonna git sum.
Tha loj s is hot and da beer is cold. Man life is so much bettera since I wents to unc. Gosh, dont lets
dem ober professionals starrara tell u life is hard, life is muthafuckin easy. Ebery towen holds new
adventiures and mo hot butt. 

Backs to tha Rib Festivelk in butaful Tega Kaye Souf Karolina, abter I dun ate all des ribs I tinks I
is goin fo sum tits. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on September 26, 2000 at 09:37:03:


Yo Yo Yo,

All dis talk bout Sidney(also a fine ass stripper)has dun gots DA SHEED two tinkin. I is dun
starteted tha 2004 SHEED OLYMPIC GAMES. U kan be parts of da fun and da comptontition.

Tha events is simple and a great promoters of THUG LIFE and unc KLASS. Below is listeted my
events, enter if you wish. 

Dunkin Drinkin Fishin Klass actin
Swearin Shittin Disin turd floatin
Fightin Cookin Pissin goat herdin
Humpin Cruisin Hoochie gittin lawn darts
Dumpin Boozin Tater eatin Checkers


NOW DEMS SUM GAMES! Mo fun dan a hard ass NBA STARRA kan stand an mo fun fo my
fans. Da prizes is a below seen.

1st palace- golden bottle of St Ideas(eberytin is MO BETTER wif St Ideas)

2nd palace- silver bottle of St Ideas(eberytin is MO BETTER wif St Ideas)

3rd palace- one ob Dean Smif old cigerette butts.


Fo my fans from DA SHEED. Tailblazers WARMIN UP. Peace out.


Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on September 18, 2000 at 09:16:57:


Yo Yo Yo,

Mighty good muthafuckin question from da Berman last weeks. If u misseted his quesiton wuz, "Hey
Sheed(dats DA SHEED to u)I didnt see any woods around, where did the mexicans shit?". Welll
ass aklways I gots da answers.

When consfrontetetd wif da possibiltieis of no woods two shit in an Edwardo will folows seberal
paths to anal releif.

1) Opening the dos on 2 LTD's will gives u mo dan enuff room to drop tha bomb in peace wifout
much peoples cin u do yo business.

2) Circle the Edwardos. I seen dem gather round each ober an makes room in da middle fo one of
dem to takes a peeaceful dump. Loos kinda like da settlers fightin off a pack of Injuns. 

3) The standin crap. Dis is highlys suspect butt I tinks I seen a couple do dis in Troy at tha "Troy is
More Festival". Dey looks round and c's if anyones is walkin past. That is followedted by a small
grunt and a twing, next ting u no dera is tortilla laced crap cumin out dera pants on onto tha ground.
Nasty Sight a standin crap.

4) Go behind tha grill. Neber far away from a pack of Edwardos is a grill of various sizees(Good fo
corn, goat, pork(not on Fridays), an ober kinda of funky Edwardo food). Dey say behind ebery
rainbow is a pot of gold, well behind ebery grill in Montgomery County dera is a pile of Edwardo
shit.

Well Beerman, dats where deywuz gonna crap. DA SHEED bringin my fans LOBE and
KNWOELDGES. More carolina KLASS dan a man kan stand. STILL foesta festa tha hardest ass
NBA starra bout round to tha rebound my bitches. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on September 18, 2000 at 16:23:51:

In Reply to: Hey Sheed check this out posted byBeerman on September 18, 2000 at 14:49:04:

:Yo Yo Yo,

Beerman u is one ok cracker butt letsa git ONETHANG SKRAIGHT. Its DA SHEED not da
Sheed. Always in muthafuckin capitals letters. Where da respcts fo dis hard ass NBA starra? 

My paid reader reads dat stroy two me dis morning befo I rolleted ober and farteted. Looks like
dera is trouble in da Mexican Soccer Legaues, I guesseted Terrance Newby hads better be lookin
out. 

Beerman, Club 211 has mo dogfennel growin in da parkin lot dan my moms back lot in Philly.
Peace out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on September 20, 2000 at 08:32:59:

In Reply to: Re: Is there a better place on Earth than Blue Heaven? posted byChapel Hill IS heaven
on September 20, 2000 at 08:14:42:

:Yo Yo Yo,

U muthafuckers got dat right. I tinks chapel hill wuz da place where da STARRAS cum to play.
Walks through da azealsa, catch queers butt pluggin eberyting in sight, see tha HARD ASS
FUTUREA NBA TALENT walkin tha screets, take a looks at all da HOT BLONDES dat has mo
flexability dan tha chinese gymnastics team, check out tha radical egalitarian beatniks that has neber
woorked a job in their life, looks at tha freaks and tha homeless beg u fo money.

I gots to say dat chapel hill is heaven on earf. Peace out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on September 21, 2000 at 07:19:31:


Yo Yo Yo,

DA PRESUIT OF THA RING NEBER ENDS!!!! Yep, fo long it wil lbe time fo training camp. I
figuredted u folks(my FANS) wood lobe a look at the high flyin, hoochie gittin, Lexus drivin, Paris
livin, RUN DMC listenin, chitlin eatin, sky walkin, trash talkin, THUG LIFE UNC KLASS act likes
me. Below is tha train camp schedules fo da Tailblazers. Enjoy bitches.

Monday- Klasses on dunkin, screwin, video game playin, how to deals wif tha media,
Seminar:"How to Pronounce the Letter R"

Tuesday- Klasses on how to handle a million wif ur friends, hows to deal wif bitches an hoes dat
wants ur loins, illegitamitc childruns and how da kan hurt ur bank accountatas, UNC ALUMNI
DAY

Weds- Klasses on how to FUNK DUNK(I is teachin dis klass), worm shakin, court bakin, fan
tauntin, how to handle prison life, Seminar:"TATTOOS- DO THEY DEFINE THE MAN"

Turdsday- Klasses on Tater tossin, pick up game, free frow shooting contest, Rump shaker contest,
How to drink a 40 oz and live the THUG LIFE, how to deals wif white coaches dat played when
dera wuz no talent

Friday- Dunk contest, chair throwin, How to headbutt ur oppenent wif out hurtin ur HARD ASS
THUG FACE, Seminar: "The 10 Foot Goal-Raise it or Lower It", A Look Back: Stevie Wonders
Greatest Hits

SATURDAY- RED ON BLACK GAME, HIGH FLYIN DUNKS, HOT ASS FUNK,
STARRA POWER ON DISPLAY

Sunday- Go home an git ready fo da season. 

MAN I LOBES DIS GAME. Now dats wha tI cal la HARD ASS TRAININ CAMP. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on September 14, 2000 at 10:54:48:


Yo Yo Yo,

I sahre dis wif u bitches eben if u did kick me out of the tube. Git out tha time machine, its time to
goes back to 1985.

It wuz a warm muthafuckin day, da bitches wuz plenty and da court wuz hoppin. Next ting I knew(I
wuz just a little mamajamma den)a bunch of little brown people(mexicans) came onto tha court ats
Biscoe Town Park and wuz wantin to play in a pick up game.

A couple of tha brothas(all serving time now) took dem up. I bet dera wuz bout 20 ob dem little
fuckers against 4 HARD ASS MONTGOMERY COUNTY THUG LIFE LIVIN BROTHAS. I
dont tink da Edwardos had eber palyed no basketball befo cause next ting I knew it wuz 168-0.
Dunk here, dunk der. Tha Edwardos(20 of them and at an aberage height of 4'5" 178 lbs)couldnts
dribbel, dey couldnt pass, all dey could do wuz run undera tha HARD ASS BROTHAS an try to
keep dem from DUNKIN. 

Fo long da scorea wuz bout 188 to nuffin when one of da Edwardoes kicked tha basketball from
bout 40 feet out. MUTHAFUCKER WENT IN THA GOAL!!!! Three pouint play. Dats da way
da game ended, HARD ASS MONTGOMERY COUNTY THUG LIFE 188, Edwardos 3. 

Abter the game the Edwardos all took a huge shit in tha woods. Tha brothas enjoed sum cool St
Ideas(eberytin is MO BETTER wif St Ideas)an some hot butt.

Sharin moments in time wif my fans. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on September 09, 2000 at 12:40:13:


Yo Yo Yo,

I is a HIGHLY PISSTETED of HARD ASS NBA STARRA. Kick me outs of da hot tube? Hows
kan dat be? Looks what I has duns fo unc and da carolina KLASS. Looks what I dun did fo dis
websight. Kiss mhy low mass ting in da high sides wif anober ass. How kan my fans do dis two me?
Wheres wuz my fans? I WANTS A MUTHAFUCKIN RECOUNTS.

Looks whats I dun dids fo dis sight. Man, I give u da insides to carolina life and tha THUG LIFE.
Whats do i git back? NUFFIN, bitchass. I tell u bout moms' cookin, i tell u bout fishin, huntin,
DUNKIN, hair weaves, takin a dump, soccer(TWICE!!!) an all ober kinds ob funky shit. Wheres
da respect? Shit on y'all and shit on dis sight. I'm gonnin to git anober tattoo. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on September 07, 2000 at 12:19:07:


Yo Yo Yo,

Yep. Dat time again fo my fans to feel da feelin an seek my healin. Its Rhymes and Versus Day.
Enjoy bitches.


Cool Slide

Rump shakker rump sakker rump,
Finds a girl dat likes to bump.
Hold her hards and holds her tight, 
Show her yo feelin, show her yo might.
Watch her squirm and watch her shiver,
Git a hold of whats I gots to deliver.
Dunk and leapin aint all I kan do,
I is ats my best when I gots to screw.

Franklin Screet Blues

Crusie da strip and look fo hoes.
Grabs yo crotch an pull in woe.
Dis towns full of homo lovin fags.
I wished my carra didnt have Carroboro tags.
Ol Dean is der and Coach Gut two,
Whose gots tha Kay Y, who wants to screw?
Man lover I aint an dats no lie,
But I sure gets excited when Brain Buttsticker walks by.

Word Play

U say "make some", I'll say "noise".
"Make some noise" 
U say "bitches" , I'll say "hoes"
"Bitches hoes"
U say "funk", I'll say "dunk"
"Funk dunk"
U say "UNC", I'll say "Klass"
"KLASS UNC"
U say "ober", I'll say "out"
"ober out"

Dats enuff todaies my fans. Peace out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on September 04, 2000 at 09:12:25:


Yo Yo Yo,

Dis is MHY intervoiews continuved from someobertime in da past. Hope u enjoy my bitches.

Interviewer: Sheed, can you tell us about your first dunk?

Sheed: Muthafuckin yes. I wuz bout 4 years olds when I had my Nurf Hoop(Nurf is a product of
the Matell Company). My bitchass mom wuz complainein bout dis and dat when i wuz goin fer a
layup. Next ting I knotwted my legs sprang and my loins wuz burnin. BAMMMMMMM!!!! A
DUNK!!! Tha rest is unc hisory and NBA THUG LIFE.

Interviewer: Have you ever experienced Andre Bocelli?

Sheed: Yes. I do enjhoys nice sports cars a great muthafuckin deal. 0 two 75 in 4.5 secondtesd.

Interviewer: When I say the word "excellence" what comes to your mind?

Sheed: I tinks ob da perfects ebening, case of St Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas),
sum hot butt doin tha RUMP SHAKKER, reruns of Shaka Zulu, chitlins, New and Improved
Frogger Game, shakin and bakin fo da unc fans, mo tattoos, my highest grade in da klassroom(a
c+)and tha lobes ob my fans.

Interviewer: We have spoken of your abilities. Is their anything else the people should know about
you beyond your physical talents?

Sheed: I aint gots no muthafuckin ideas wha u is pontificanting upons. Is dera anyting else ober da
physical abilties? I might take up lawn darts in tha future.

Interviewer: Who is your favorite basketball player?

Sheed: Dats easy. Muthafuckin me.

Interviewer: What is your dream guest list for dinner?

Sheed: Dats a good muthafuckin guestion. Lets see, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Ok 1)
Martin Luther Kings 2) Malcolom X 3) Flavor Flav 4)Bob Barker from da Price is Right(Bring dat
fine ass Janet wif you Bob. I teach her to "bob".) 5) Wink Martindale, he wuz on various game
shows in his lifes. 6) Horst Wessel 7) Rico Swave 8)Tab Thacker 9)Hugh Hefner's hair piece 10)
Beerman 11) Barry White 12)Gandolf Tuitoreyu 13) Easy E .

Dats my list. Wha a party dat wood be.

To MY fans from DA SHEED. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on September 01, 2000 at 15:24:08:


Yo Yo Yo,

I meets dis white boys back at unc in my hard ass unc days. Dey wuz all punk ass mutherbitches but
dey did taskes me dove hunting one time. DA SHEED could slay some muthafuckin doves, dats fo
sura. Da day was fun and day knights wuz long so DA SHEED is goin dove hunting dis Saturdaies.

Sheed's Dove Agenda

6:15- fart, roll over and hit it.

7:00- Git tha chitlin pie, turnip greens, muthafuckin tripe, souse meat and ST Ideas(eberyting is MO
BETTER wif St Ideas) and puts dem in da back of da Lexus. Fart roll over and hit it one mo time.

8:01- Git dove licenses and axes da sto owners wife fo a shot of poo poo, fart roll over and hit it
ober mo time. Look out fo da Edwardos gitin in da nway tryin to buys fishin worms. Dont fogot to
fart and roll over and hit it one mo time.

9:23- START MUTHAFUCKIN COOKIN!!!!! Heat up dat chitlin pie, set dat tripe out as fingers
food and has some hoop cheese on cankers. Pours some St Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St
Ideas) on tha turnips greens. Mom's bitchass probably didnts puts no seasonsins on dem. Check
shotgun and sheels, fart roll over and hit it one mo time.

10:45- U shoulds be nice an drunk at dis point. Axees somebodies to puts a beer can on dera head.
Try to shoot dat mutha off. Firsat one to loose an ear wins. Fart roll over and hit itm one mo time.

10:46- Abter the 911 peoples has reattaches ur homboys ear axes if anyones has seen any corns in
da chitlins. Mom's bitchass aint neber been good at cleanin chitlins. Spit in ur buddies turni pgreens
to ensurea dat THUG LIFE is alive and well on dove day, fart roll over and hit it one mo time.

11:23- Pick fights wif any Edwardos dat show der heads and try to plays soccer games in tha dove
field. Fo long it will be knowns as "Edwardo Day". Drink mo St Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER
wif St Ideas)den fart roll over and hit it one mo time.

11:32- Da pace has really picked up!! Drunk Edwardos have started throwin BUDWISER bottle
at you and da boys. Shoot out tha tires on der LTD's and den shoot der soccer ball. IF dey bitch
too muchs throws dem a turnip ass a replacvesment fo da soccer ball. Backy's gotta git picked
somwhows, fart den roll over and hit it one mo time.

11:59- ONE MUTHAFUCKIN MINUTE TIL DOVE SEASONS. Sinces we has dun shot all our
muthafuckin sheels, dranks all da St Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas), gave da
Edwardos all da turnipos since we killeted der soccerr ball, da chitlins is fulls of corns, and tha
police(FUCK THA POLICE)has showteted up. Git in tha Lexus and head out fo Chicken Joe's in
West Southern Pines fo tha Beerman gits baCK an drinks all dera ST Ideas(eberyting is MO
BETTER wif St Ideas) Fart roll over and hit it one mo time.


DAMN THIS HARD ASS NBA STARRA LOBES DOVE SEASON. Later bitches, happy
muthafuckin huntin. Peace out.


Sheed 
Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on August 31, 2000 at 08:57:01:


Yo Yo Yo,

I gits tens of letters each weeks axin me about various items. Da mosts common quextion is if I has
on underwears. Well listens ups ladies, DA SHEED dont be wearin no underwear and here be why.

Reasons DA SHEED dont wear drawers

1) U always gots to be ready fo any LADIES dat might wants two taste tha LOVE THANG

2) U kant wear underwear to Chicken Joe's in Weest Southern Pines

4) Dey wades up in my crack from tim e to time. No wades in dis crack.

3) When performion da FUNK DUNK u gots to has "it" free to grind and bumpin into tha face ob
ur oppents. Tha FUNK DUNK wood be nofen wif underwear on.

5) Queen Anne likes easy access to tha family jewels. Underwear(drawers) wood just piss her off.

6) Rarely dids mens wear underwears in 9th century Cambodia. It wuz a well knows facts dat tha
Tiger god(Larry) sopketed volumes bout the nastitness of wearin drawers. I wood neber offend tha
Tiger god(Larry) by wearin drawers. Bin ho chi mon thyiu dyrtui vutio tryu qytirido DA SHEED
!!!!!!

7) Mom whippteted my ass whens I wore drawers as a youngs thug. Gotsa tried of cleanin tha
hersey highway remains from my drawers.

8) No way u can live the real THUG LIFE wearin drawers. I means axes uself dis, "Dose hard ass
NBA starras wearin drawers".

I goes cowboy mhy little bitches. Gots to give "it" room to thuink, grow and be lobed. I is just
shartin my life wif my fans. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on August 29, 2000 at 12:34:47:


Yo Yo Yo,

Yep, dis is da day fo dem unc starras dat wuz butt aint no mo. Dis is former unc greats day.
Todaies we is gonna lokbs at Terrance Newby. Enjoy bitches.

Terrance Newby, unc(1996-2000)

Dis guy wuz a smashem up starra at tha powerhouse nowen as Jordan Matthews Hike Scool.
Terrance wuz a play grounds and a childruns legenad in dat town. Abter going to Jordan Matthews
an doin absolutle nuffin(no dunks, no titles, I means nuffin) he gots a atheliec scholarship two unc. It
is rummored dat he wuz caught playin soccer wif all da Edwardos in Siler Shitty. Upon entering unc
Terrance became part of the famous "unc bench idiots". Dey is dat crowd of talentless unc players
dat makes grades(not Terrance)and cheers likes fools when sum unc starra(like DA SHEED) gits
dunk. Terrance remained on tha bench fo all fo years. Way to go Terrance.

Stats

Points per game(fo year aberage)- 0.012303

Rebounds per game(fo year aberage)- 0.00019943

ASSists per game(fo year aberage)- 0.000000000000000000000000000000000002

Numbera of times he used numbera 2 lead pencils to colour in his pencil thin mustache- 234

Aberage height of leap made during his time on the bench when he wuz cheerin fo anober
teammate- 3 feets


Where he be now?

Abter whippin a little ass during Haloween wif da famous master of Crooklyn(Ed Cotas) Terrance
decided two retire to tha cornera curbe sto in Siler Shitty. It be up dera on HWY 64 rights smack in
da middle of towens. Terrance is now in charge of pumpin gas and hot blondes. He is also da back
room stocker of potted meat, pigs feet, tripe, howg maw, chitlins and cold muthafuckin ass ST
IDEAS(Eberytin is MO BETTER wif St Ideas). My mad ass reportsas axed Trrance bout his
carrera ats unc, dis is whats we got. "Tell dose muythabitches dat I is gonna still be a starras. I dun
gaveted up basketball due to sorri ass Coach Gut and now i is gonna become EL SUPREMO DE
NADA. I am goin into mexican midegt rasslin and soccer. They are gonna love me". Right
Terrance, next times I is in Siler Shitty u gonna be pumpin high test into tha Lexus. Loser ass punk
ass bitch. Fo long Terrance will be caught shittin in tha woods in some park somewhere. Dats
REAL talent. Droppin bombs in da oak trees.

Well dats where he(EL SUPREMO DE NADDA) be now. Dreamin of stardoum in midegt rasslin
and hopin to lead the city of Siler Shitty to a Worold Cup trophey in soccer. unc greats makin der
way in da world each an ebery muthafuckin day. Peace out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on August 22, 2000 at 19:33:17:

Yo Yo Yo,

DAMN!!! Dis is hard works stayin round da hot tube. Der is a couple of tings I likes and dislikes
bouts dis hot tube.

Likes
1) Kristie has gots sum of tha best poo poo I has ebery hads. Likes JR(Jamal Ratass)Reid said,"I
has been in mo hot blondes dan summer's eve." I has two.

2) Dat goat. At least deera is one goat alive in Norf Carolina dat aint gonna be aten by mexicans.

3) Da water be ticklin tha family jewels. DA SHEED's jewelas is prizeless.

Dislikes

1) I tink Coach Smif has dunted floweted a brown trout or either Dickie threws in a Baby Ruth.

2) Geore Karls is always talkin bout DA SHEED cumin to plays fo him. I duns had nuff of cracker
ass formera unc players as coachs. 

3) Somebdoies keeps pissin in da hot tube and dat stuff smells.


DA SHEED gonna win dat million. Not dat I needs it BUtt it wood cum in handy durningfishing
season. As James "muthafuckin" Brown wood say, "Gonna git in thaa hot tube, gonna sit in tha
water. HOT TUBE, Lets shit in tha hot tube." Peace out

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on August 18, 2000 at 12:37:56:

Yo Yo Yo,

Dis day is fo DA SHEED's fans. Dis is when i hits u like a bolts of thundera wif my mad rhymes and
lyrics. So its Rhumes and verus day, enjoy bitches.

Sheed cul de dump

Sittin in tha can lookin round,
I squeeze so hards I makes a frown.
It wont come out and it sura does stink,
WHERES da toliet paper, i gots to wash my hands in tha sink.
Covered in shit aint no way to be,
Take it from a hard ass NBA starra like me.
Make it quick or make it slow,
DA SHEED dumps tha best fo sho.

Jason Parker Blues

350 points be alot
Gots dats much den takes yo shot.
He wuz KLASS and he wuz SMART,
Somebody helped dat muthafucker cheat an it wont no fart.
So he aint gonna plays fo unc,
I axes myself,"He kants beat me"
Cause next to DA SHEED nobodies aint fo shit,
Parkers so fuckin dumb we calls him nitwit.

Crabs for tha ladies

Feel them crawl, feel them bit.
Sleepin wif hoes be keepin u up all knight.
Git tha pain, gits tha pleasure,
Hot snatch is cool whens deys is wearin leathera.
Now dey is eberywhere an deyu aint goin away,
Dey is eben in da Lexus an dey is hera two stay.
I gots da answer an it taint my fault,
Fill dem crabs ups wif Epsome salt.

Dats it. From DA SHEED to my fans. I LOBES u all.
Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on August 17, 2000 at 12:18:42:

Yo Yo Yo,

Has u eber stoods side da crapper an has dis buuirn feelings? I wuz pissin da ober day an piss buirn
pains hit me like a case of St Ideas(eberythin is MO BETTER wif St Ideas). I wonders and I
wonders wha twuz burin my loins. 

I gotsa to tha doctor(i wuz gonna be a doctor two) and he saids I might has VD(in Philly thats
stands for VICIOUS DUNK). Anymuthafuckinway he said to pulls it tout and let him hit it wif a
small hammer. I dids dat and he hit "it" wif a small hammer. Nofen came outted but it did hurts like
hell. Doctor axes me what I been drinkin an eatin and I tolds him "Doc I aint been drinkin and eatin
nofen but St Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas)pigs feets, tripe, and chitlins". He saids
two me" Sir you dont have the bull headed clap but you do have one shitty diet". Abter I whipped
his cracker ass and laid one on his hot sec I took a shoot o 3 ob exlax and drank a bottle of
Epsome salt. Much better and no burin. 

U gots tha burin pains. Take sit from muthafuckin mes. Exlax and Epsome salt will cure anythiung.
Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on August 15, 2000 at 07:21:09:

Yo Yo Yo,

I guessted tha mighty white is still tryin to keep down us brothas. If dey kan disqualifis Jason from
scooll den I guesses medical scool will be out fo DA SHEED. I kan still play doctors wif all da
hoochies abter these hard ass NBA games. 

What tha fuck is unc cumin two whens dey cant let in future hard ass NBA thug life talents? Shit.
Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on August 13, 2000 at 18:01:48:

Yo Yo Yo,

I wuz justeted in mhy office an i decideted two cum to tha calmputer and break quick fo my
peoples.

I aint dun shit today. Here is a list of what DA SHEED dun be doin today.

7:45- Rolled ober and hit it one mo time

8:57- Farted and rolled ober and hit it one mo time.

10:23- Palyed a quick game of New and Improved Frogger game, farted den rolled ober an hit it
one mo time

11:34- Ete breekfast, fart den rolled ober an hit it one mo time. 

1:23- Toolk a shower, farted and den rolled ober and hit it one mo time.

3:01- Plated pick up game(13 DUNKS, 12 of dem wuz FUNK DUNKS), drank a bottle of ST
Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas), ete lunch, farted and den rolled ober an hit it one mo
time.

4:23- Called mom to tell dat bitch to haves da chitlin pie ready fo Monday ats lunch, drank anober
bottle ob St Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas), farted den rolled ober and hit it one mo
time.

5:30- Headed out to my MAD OFFICE, picketed up a case of St Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER
wif St Ideas), pickedted up two hoes, dropted off da trash, throwed my St Ideas(empty)(eberyting
is MO BETTER wif St Ideas)ats a roads sign(ober tha Lexus at dat), calls my reports fo dera
update on unc starras where dey be now(Henrick Rodel)fo dis week, farted den rolled ober an hit it
one mo time(an gonna hit it whens i gits home).

Well dats a Sundays in da life ob DA SHEED. U is alls enpenis aint ya? Beerman word up, u a cool
bitch.
Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on August 11, 2000 at 09:58:43:

Yo Yo Yo,

Dis is fo da Beerman and ober friends of DA SHEED. Der wuz a golden place in Candor NC
called Cathy's Place-Coldest Beer Around! It had muthafuckin drive thru fo yankee came up wif
dat breeze thru bullshit.

Dey had St Ideas, Bull, Colt 45, Pabst Blue Ribbon, BUDWISER(dis is fo da Edwardos), Beast
Lite etc etc. Dey also had a wide varities of goodies to eat while u bee crusin; pigs feet, pork rinds,
potted meat, muthafuckin pork brains in eggs, hot sauages(DA SHEED gots a saugage), and ober
nice and fine stuffs.

I miss dat place. I useted cum down from Chapel Hill fo a couple of St Ideas and a shot of ass from
da whores up on da 211/220 interchange. Rest in peace Cathy's Place, DA SHEED be missin you.
Wif a tear in my muthafuckin eye, Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on August 11, 2000 at 16:29:51:

Yo Yo Yo,

So u tink it wuz Cubans shittin in tha woods at Biscoe Park huh? I tink not. First muthafuckin off
Cubans dont be drivin LTD's, Cubans drive BMW's. Tha parkin lot wuz full of goat meat bones
and LTD's. Second off Cubans play muthafuckin besboll, not enuff time to shit in tha woods durnin
a besboll game.

I have bout had tit wif all dis disrepct that DA SHEED be gitin. First y'all go and shit in tha woods,
den u cause ebery place in town to stop sellin souse meat, den u hit my Lexus. Whats next, stopin
tha sell of St Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas) and replacin it wif BUDWISER?

Looks like dera is gonna be some refried bean eating ass beatin cumin down tha line. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on August 09, 2000 at 18:43:11:

Yo Yo Yo,

I tinks dat da Beerman is gonna be one of DA SHEED's best buds. He eben knows where da Club
211 is. 

Beerman Club 211 useted be run by tha BROTHAs until dey all ran outs of monies(Not enough
hard ass NBA starras dat fo sureea). I kan recalls da knights dat DA SHEED wuz cold chillin in da
parking lot of Club 211(formerly known as the IGA). Da ladies wuz hot and tha ghetto butts wuz
plentyfuls. I wuz always da man wif da plan. 

Since da Edwardos dun took it ober da drunk drivin accidents dun went thru tha roof(RAISE THA
ROOF, RASIE THA ROOF). More dead Edwardos tha at tha Alamo. I tinks my sources has said
dat Club 211 is now closed. No more hard ass NBA starras and no mo Edwardos, the is hangin
out in Sanford at Tiendas Lupas. 

Beerman u be alright. Dis is for tha memory of tha South Side Package Sto in Randleman(it closted
now) and The Someother Place Tavern down at Atlantic Beach(dats right downs from da
Sportman's Pier, owner is a bitch). Peace out and bottoms up.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on August 09, 2000 at 11:46:24:

Yo Yo Yo,

Word up Beerman, sound liketed dat u know what u bee doin. DA SHEED gots s few places I
likes to buys in Norf Carolina myself.

The Drop Zone, Wind Blow NC. Dis place justed be known as Sgt's Drop Zone but now a pack
of Edwardos has dun runeted it ober. Hot beer and cold ass poll tables, just right for layin tha ladies
down(if u knowns what I means)

The French Pickle, Terry's Ford NC. More crackers here dan a Zesta Box. Dey dont likes St
Ideas BUTT dey love DA SHEED!! Word Tina, c u Friday.

Ed's Wines and Lickher, East Winston(dats Winstom Salem). WOW, it be midnight at 12 high
noons at dis place and DA SHEED is a god. My brtohas be hangin der; diggin fishin worms, drinkin
cold St Ideas(eberythin is MO BETTER wif St Ideas), and eatin Souse meat. My kinda place,
homwe of tha funk dunk. 

Dats it, my places against urs. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on August 09, 2000 at 07:08:09:

Yo Yo Yo,

Since i is a starra rounds da muthafuckin world I figured dat yous wood like to see a interview I did
fo da Peoples News in North Yemen. Enjoy bitches.

Interviewer: Sheed, have you ever written a story about hoop cheese?

Sheed: Muthafuckin hell ya. I wrotes a coupkle o stories bout dat cheese. Man dat stuff binds me
up, alwats hard shits taken abter dat hoop goes down.

Interviewer: Do you like to ride Schwin bicycles?

Sheed: Muthafuckin no. I gots a Lexus dat just gotteted fixed abter a few Edwardos hit tit last
week.

Interviewer: Does the word "butter" mean anything to you?

Sheed: Muthafuckin hell yes. Eberytime i tinks of butter I tink of Dave(Fireplug Davey) Popson.
Cracker ass no shotting prick.

Interviewer: Did Coach Smith really stop up your crapper?

Sheed: Muthafuckin hell yes. I guesseted it wuz mom's chitlin pie(Sheed git them mofreeckin
chitlins). i gots a signed picture of Coach Smif standing over my crapper smoking a blunt and actin
proud of his brown trout.

Interviewer: What is a "funk dunk"?

Sheed:(NEXT MUTHAFUCKIN WEEK)Continued


Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on August 07, 2000 at 18:14:01:

Yo Yo Yo,

Yep, its dat muthafuckin time agains. Dis is where we looks at dem unc starras dat wuz once butt
aint no mo. Today we be ganderin at anober one of Coach Smifs cracker plaerys fro mda 70's.
Today we is lookin at Mike O'Korean.

1974-1977

Points per game- 12.3(3 year aberage)

Rebounds per game- 5.2(3 year aberage)

ASSists per game- 1.2( senior year)

Lbs of acne cream used on dat ugly ass face- 134 lbs(3 year total)

Amount of butt hair clipped- 45 lbs(3 year total)

Now dis is one of dem unc quitesseital cracker starras from da 70's. Looks of hustle butt zero
atheltic talent(SHEED GOTS TALENT). He wuz a high schholl golden boy(and lobed da golden
showers two)from up satte New Yak. Coach Smif tooks notice of him when Mike wuz takin a
dump after a game. "That boy has to come and play for me, look at the way he takes a shit. Now
thats potential". That rest wuz history.

Abter a bang up carrea at unc in which they wons no national titles and Mike did his utmuthafuckin
most best to sacre the hell out of THA LADIES wif dat ugly face he moveted on to tha NBA and
later into chill business.

Upn gettin CUT by some NBA team, Mike developed a new brand of chill. IT wuz called ,"Mike
O'Korean's fast eatin, ass droppin chilly". Abter Mike made his first hundred he wents on to
develop other items like tha "Loose fittin jock strap" and he also gotted famous fo developin tha
"Wire Hanger Toof Brush". He losted it all abter he wuz sued fo stainin his "Wire Hanger Toof
Brush" wif fecal material(dat wood be shit folks). 

Upon goin bank rupted he took smal lbit parts in horror muthafucki nmovies as the evil(and mosts of
da time ugly as hell) villians. He now lives in Hollywood and he had dis to say to my reportas.
"Without Coach Smith seeing me take that shit back in 1972 I would have never reached the level
of success I have today. I have a good life scaring the hell out of everyone with my looks. I still miss
beating Duke, what a pack of pricks(Amen brotha, Amen). Mike later said that you coulds buy
clips of that afro he had while in college.(Send yo monies to Mike O'Korean Afro Clips, Box
76345, Norf Hollywood Ca) Mike said he enjoys des pieces I duze for dis website, I enjoys dem
to you ugly ass cracker.

Well it looks like anober carolina success story. From glory on the toliet to glory on the court and
then in life. Carolina KLASS showing thru each and ebery muthafuckin day. Next week we'll looks
at the outstanding carrera of Henric Rodel. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallaces Head on August 04, 2000 at 20:21:19:

Yo Yo Yo,

I knows I drives dis board wif my mad lyrcis and my hard ass style but i gots a ting o 2 two stay.

First off I gots da word from Martha Stewart tha other day bout us "hookin". I is up fo dat, u is a
fine older ass white bitch and DA SHEED would lobes u likes u knees to be lobed. I would stokes
yo hair while u admires my tattos and my manhood. I gots a support beam fo u anytime Martha(if u
knows what I is sayin).

Hillbilly jack, i aint kneed yop help or u words of muthafuckin comfort. I tells you what u can do. If
you want DA SHEED to hang wif you just puts a old peach basket up at the gayrage and I'll come
shows u tha funk dunk wif da mostes of tha junk.

DEr it is, DA SHEED gonna give swee lovin to Martha and gonna show Hillbilly jack tha mad
moves that made me a KLASS carolina act. Lexus is out of tha shop, GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on August 03, 2000 at 11:18:59:

Yo Yo Yo,

I gots to say I wonts be round fo a bit. I wuz cold chillin tha ober day in mhy Lexus when dis
Edwardo ran a muthafuckin red light. BLAMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!! Right into my
Lexus sport utility vehicle. Muthafucker wuz bout 4'5" and weighed bout 190 lbs, all black hair,
dark tan skin, spoketeted no english(he spoketed no muthafuckin jive neither)and he hads on his
"soccer" outfit. He and a whole shit load of ober Edwardos jumpeted out and ran cross da road(I
bets dey is shittin in da woods somewhere). Why couldnts dem bastards hit a soccer mom wif her
brat ass kids?

I be back soon as possible. Say a prayer fo DA SHEED, says a prayer fo my Lexus, says a prayer
fo dat Edwardo when I catches his little ass. Dems peoples all looketeds like anyways. This hard
ass NBA starra is gonna haveta git sum woork dun on da cold chillin machine. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallce's Head on August 01, 2000 at 21:05:27:

Yo Yo Yo,

DA SHEED has goneta greta lengths(dids I say greta lengths?) to brings home
improvemuthafuckinment advices fo my fans. I sawted dis da ober day down in da woods. 

I wuz crusien in my Lexus whens I cameted upon a bunch of mexicans wif a haLF of a doouble
wide trailer. I says to myselfs, "Sheed what u reckon des Edwardos is gonna do wif dis muthafuckin
half a double wide trailer?" So I pulleted up besides dem a watcheted dem go at it. 

Dem is da mosted factinating muthas I has eber seen. Dey had a double wide tralier and a single
widetraier and hooketed dem two muthafuckers togetha. Abter a case or 3 of BUDWISER, a
couple of chains, some tie jacks, a 10 lb bag of pinto beans, and a good helpin of lard dey slid dem
to traiulers side by side and duct taped them togetha. Two cover ups any strange lookin
inconsistancies they tarpeed the connection points wif black plastic(very stylish in my opinion). Tha
American Dream, a cross breed trailer , a yard full of LTD's(and a house full of STD's)and a soccer
match from hell in tha backyard. MUY BEIN MIS AMIGOS. Matters not dat da colours(not dat
Shawn Penn movie , Colours) dont match. All dat matters is it taint a dirt flo and dat we is in
America. My question is dis, if tit werent fo da Edwardos who would loves all da fat blonde white
womens?

Der you has it. Home improvements advcies from DA SHEED. Cant say dat I dont grow to great
lengths fo my fans(ESPECIALLY THA LADIES). Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on July 24, 2000 at 13:59:49:

Yo Yo Yo,

Normamuthafuckinly i is an easy goin hard ass NBA starra BUTT when some fool likes Mike
OCain be wantin to splita bottle of St Ideas(eberythin is MO BETTER wif St Ideas)i gots
problems.

DA SHEED has a religious experiment whens I drinks my St Ideas(eberythin is MO BETTER wif
St Ideas). I dont knees no punk ass faluire cumin by my hood and tryin to rap and drink wif me and
da boyz. U probably tell Willie not to shit behind da cornera sto. I gots dis to says to Mike OCain
and his wantin to split sum St Ideas(eberythin is MO BETTER wif St Ideas). "U counldnts handle St
Ideas(eberythin is MO BETTER wif St Ideas). Dis stuff is fo mens and only mens. Dis tuff will
makes yo manhood grows and tha ladies swerrve. Dis stuff aint fo no weak mens or whips. Its fo
hard core trash talkin, shy walkin, master of tha funk humpoin, bitch ass thumpin, undera da boards
scorin, fast lane living, hoochie ass gittin ,sleak carar drivin, high fivin hard ass NBA starras. So dats
why I not be sharin my St Ideas(eberythin is MO BETTER wif St Ideas)wif u. Stick dat in ur
redsweater and chew on it." From DA SHEED to his peoples. Word from up on High. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on July 24, 2000 at 13:49:07:

Yo Yo Yo,

Good two see anober of unc's hard ass starras has dun showtetd up on dis boards. What kan I say
ober dan, "Word up holmes, where be da white womens?".

Vince I bee hoppin dat u will hang in on dis board and place a couple of postes. DA SHEED has
dun MY bests to keep MY fans informeted and tormenmnted wif my knowldge and my life(been
practicin da New and Improved Frogger Game). I gots tings to go ands poples to do. Vince I
dunketed on u hard dis season, no bads feelins. One of dem RUMP SHAKKER DUNKS, YEAH
BOY!!!!!(Just like Flavor Flav)Peace out. 

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Walace's Head on July 21, 2000 at 11:13:30:

Yo Yo Yo,

Man i tails u dis. Dat socer ting sura is hittings its muthafuckin stride. Eberytime I looks around dera
is anober pack of ratty ass mexicans, perty ass white boys and future lesbians kickin around dat
black and white ball. What kan a hard ass NBA starra do fo his state and his muthafuckin country?

I has gots a couples of indigestions fo dis plaque on da country.

First, I ting u shoulds ban socer in eberytown. Whens u finds sum ob da above listeted pricks playin
soccer u should drive yo Lexus onto the fields an spins wheels and tries to run ober da players.
GOALLLLLLLLL!!!!!

Second(dats number 2, not tha number 2 dat Coach Smif dids at my house), Gits u a couple of
sharpe pins and go to tha stos where dey be sellin doze socer balls. Takes yo pin and sticks it in
dem socer balls. Fo long da people wills gits tried of playin wif bad balls and starts palyin mo
basketball(a reall sport).

Turd, If all else fails gits u a glock nine and starts shoting an pery white boys wif bad hair cuts(or
young chics in comforatble shoes). Dis should cut downs of futre players real fast. Ass fo da
mexicans I gots word from Warren Martin that he will put salt peter in da souse meat at Tendias
Remero's in Sanford. Salt peter keeps u from bein able to raise yo leg(yep, keeps u from raisin tha
middle elg two). 

As I saids befo, socer be a game for limp writsted flit boys and Edwardos. i is tried of seeing shit
loads of LTD's headin to tha socer fields on Saturdays. Dey gots tha roads so full I cant eben cruse
in my Lexsus no mo.

Sheed keepin tha world safe fo that dunk. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on July 24, 2000 at 21:37:57:

Yo Yo Yo,

DA SHEED is always be lookin fo a way two make money(specially since da eason be ober). I has
talketed wif my agent and he has said it wood be ok to put autentic WHITE SPOT on SALE.

YES, eben muthafuckin you can have a WHITE SPOT on yo muthafuckin head. U kan have klass,
u kan have ladies, u kan have respect, u kan have a a master funk dunk and much much more if u
order a WHITE SPOT now!!! 

Da steps be simple. 

1) send me 20 bucks
2) I'll send u a WHITE SPOT
3) Taape the WHITE SPOT to ur head
4) Watch ur klass, intergirtty, love power, mad lyrics, mad ups, etc etc GROW and GROW
5) Live tha hard ass thug life u alwats wanted to live.

If u donts believe me, reads da below testiclemoney bout havin a WHITE SPOT.

"Since I got a WHITE SPOT I have made lots of money and met tons of hot women"------- L.M.
Simlico, Ermo SC

"Without my WHITE SPOT I would be nothing. Thank God for Sheed and UNC"-------- Terry
M. Hardteacj, Moosebends Minn

"The WHITE SPOT is possibly one of the most significant contributions to the development of
western man since the fork became a standard table piece in the 15th century. Everyone should
have one."--------- Corbet Goldstein(Professor of Ernest and Julio Galleo Studies at Berkeshire
College) Bain Fallow, North Yemen

What kan I say? Call or order one right nows. Send ur inquires two,

Sheed White Spot
Box 34
Bear Ass, NC(Fo got tha zip code)

Me outs to help u, my fans. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on July 20, 2000 at 19:22:25:

Yo Yo Yo,

Its muthafuckin BACK. "Rhymes and Versus DAY " has mades a tripumhant return to
carolinasucks.com. Des is sum newuns I came up wif during my break. Enjoy bitches.

Cold Busted

In da storm an I is blue,
I cries at nite cause I cant screw.
I tinks and I tinks but I kant see,
Why dis love muscle aint swellin up fo me.
I runs around an I jumps a bit,
I looks to that flo but I wont quit.
I head to tha can looks real hard.
Mom has hide my Viagra in da muthafuckin lard. 
Damn.

Tha Love Thang

"Yo" I says an let it be known,
Sheed gots somethin called "da love bone"
Its real nice and its real long,
I bets u think I is talkin bout my slong.
Dirtys minds wants to inquire,
I aint no hustler fo hire.
I is DA SHEED and its right hera befo ya,
Its a role of chitlins and a picture of LaToya(LaToya Jackson u bitches).


Well dats it fo dis time. Runs along now an has fun. DA SHEED is always havion fun. We is gonna
rock it down on da cornera twonite. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on July 10, 2000 at 17:15:46:

Yo Yo Yo,

I is hurteted as all da ober unc fans. I is wonderin who kan bring da klass student afalets like myselfs
to chapel hill tha way Coach Smif dids(still aint fogot him stoppin up my moms crapper). How could
Roy turn downs unc? I wonders an I prays but I thoughuted to myself, "Sheed, how we gonna find
a muthafuckin coach?". Da answer be muthafuckin simple.

All you has two do is come to my house(SHEED IN DA HOUSE!!!) an looks into tha
toliet(crapper) abter DA SHEED dun took a big'un. I predicted dat da next coach at unc woods
reslembel da shape of dat turd dat wuz droppeted. My prediction fo da next coach at unc is a toss
ups(da turd looketed like bout 3 guys).

List of Coaching Options from Sheed's Crapper
1) George Karl- a chunky one if dera eber wuz one. Large head shaped growth on one end.

2) Phil Ford- dark textured tured which wuz muthafuckin imbuded wif alcohol. Kind chucky butt
yet runny due to tha ST IDEAS(eberythang be mo better whif ST IDEAS) I drankteted tha ober
nite.

3) Oscar Lewis- Ugly an a tuff stink. Oscar be knot known in da carolina family dat well be he is da
biggest unc fan in da world. Lives down dera in Wheat Swamp(Lenoir County). 

Well dera u have tit. Doze is da 3 mens dat will possibly git tha unc job. All you has to do is look
into DA SHEED's crapper and u be c'in tha future. Bombs away, c tha future today. Tailblazers on
a break.
Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on July 17, 2000 at 12:40:55:

Yo Yo Yo,

Word up DL Trey, I bein missin u here on dis board. Now dats u is back I hopes da 2 of us kan
ROCK dis place out(hot tub party later). I mena, who kan stand up to this klass and intergrtiiety dat
is unc? 

CarolinaHater, u aint grot no ideas who I is. As far as guessin well u is way off. How could a
Deacon Fan be as creatibe as me? A creatiove Deacon Fan is about like a muthafuckin chrasmatic
jew, dey just dont makes dem. 

SPPECIAL WORD to tha lesbians ober der at Duke. I swears I will neber take anober chick into
tha comfortable shoe capital of norf carolina. Dey is so much carpet munched ober der dat i think
dey should put hard would floos in da dorms.

OLD flomat coming back dis week(Ember- UNC greats, recipte day, rhymes and versus day, pot
luck pick day etc etc). I STILL FOESTA FESTA THA MASSTED MOSTES OF DEY
CLOSET HARD ASS NBA STARRA(What did Sheed just say?)!!!!!! Peace out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on July 18, 2000 at 09:46:40:

Yo Yo Yo,
I never gits tried of pickin on crackers. Hears my joke fo tha day.
Whats tha muthafuckin differnce tween an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
One less muthafuckin drunk(Eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas).
Work two do. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on July 19, 2000 at 07:54:34:

Yo Yo Yo,

Da mosted poplar piece of my mad writings is back. Dis is former unc greats day, where dey be?
Todiaes we is gonna have a lookteds at Cecil Exum, anober member of da unc family.

First off i gots to axes, when wuz da last time u saw a black dude named Cecil?

Anyway, Cecil has a story book carrera at some high scholl in tha Durham area. Upon leading his
muthafuckin high scholl to the NC state Championship in the blind and deaf divisons, Cecil wuz
whiskedted away to tha basketball factoiry known as unc.

Cecil Exum(1982-1985)

Points per game- 6.2(fo year aberage)

Rebunds per game- 2.1(fo year aberage)

Number of times Woody Durham refered to Cecil as da next "Curtis Hunter"- 190.234(yep, dats
alot of significant digits)(fo year aberage)

Number of teeth in Cecil's head- 52(dats 20 mo dan da normal mens)

Cecil lead unc to absoultelys nofen. Da teams he wuz on wuz always cheated by da refs, i tinks da
refs wuz jeaslous. Cecil majored in post modern structuralist studies wif a concentration in Central
American Leftists lesbian writings that dealth wif tha cultivation and proliferamuthafcukinration of
Marxist ideolmuthfuckingy. Cecil wuz harraaseted on a trumpedted up charge dat he got drunk a
He's Not Here and later dry humped the Old Well. Upon graduation(DA SHEED is stil waitin fo
my medical scholl acceoption)Cecil took a jobs wif the Dixie Paper Cup Company(he wuz later
fried fo puncturing the cups wif a small prick pin).

Where he be now? Cecil wuz a hard ass mutha to track downs. My repotars found him livin a hard
ass life under a bridge in Bessermer City. Cecil didnts has much to says but he did sound off bout
da NEW CRACKER head coach ats unc. "Coach Ford should have gots tha job. Looks at Mat
Dogherty, he aint got no mads ups, he aint got no party(At that moment my repotars said Ceci
lbroke intothat Rod Stewart song "If You Wantmy Body and You think I'm Sexy" song). Wif dat
my repotars left ta sceen, dey did say as dey left town dey saw Cecil takin a shit behind tha Shell
Station on Lumber Street(screet). What a bich ass loser.

We DA SHEED be sendin his reoptars far and wide to brings u success stories bout former unc
hard ass starrars. Dont says da DA SHEED dont goes al lout fo my fans. I lobes u all. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted by That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on June 20, 2000 at 07:27:09: IP
Address: 63.70.14.89

Yo Yo Yo,

Long time no DUNK!!! DA SHEED has dun hads two take it easy fo a whiles. Damn Lakers wun
da ring and ober tings dun happened to DA SHEED. I wuz in a terrible hang gliding accidents at
Kitty Hawks a few daze ago. Doc saids i broke my methacrapal-seclitoa(Dat be da middle finger to
u muthas!!). I is just layin back an recoverin.

Word up to all tha brotheras fo dis past Father's Day. Man u should have dun seen all da presbnts
dat I gots. One of my little bastards giveted me a can of roll-o-matic cream dispenser. Cums in
handy wif da ladies. Dis ober little bastard giveted me a painting from muthafuckin Van Go. Sometin
bout a bombing of some spick town in Spain. I'll put it in da shitter.

Y'all have a good summer, eat yo chitlins, drink yo beer(ST Ides), and git all dem Hoochies dat u
can git. DA SHEED spends his PEACE and LOBE to all my fans. Brain Buttsticker gonna be ACC
MVP dis year. GO HEELS!!!! Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted by That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on June 30, 2000 at 02:17:29: IP
Address: 63.70.14.80

Yo Yo Yo,

I woketed up dis mornin a saw da paper. Headlines muthafuckin be readin "Cota no going in the
draft". I saids to my paid reader, "How can that muthafuckin be?" Cota wuz a klass act just like me,
he wuz so smooth wif da ladies(gots a couple of kids) and he wuz always da peacemaker(and DA
PLAYMAKER!!).

Now how can da scouts oberlooketed a fine mad ups player like Cota? Here be his stats:

1)3 Second Team all ACC selections
2)Mosteted assisits at unc
3)Firsted player at unc to has 1) 1,500 points 2) 1,500 something or others 3) 500 assists
4)Second mosted kids while at unc(word up to his ho at da mall in Durham) 
5)Various civil violations of the law steming from his desire to make peace and love the catch words
of UNC.
6)He wuz caught takin a dump at the Pit

Well Ed, DA SHEED will takes care ob you. I gots plenty-o-money. U bring ur tater lookin, high
dribblin, cheerleader pullin, ass whippin Crooklyn ass out here an we will rock it. Hey Newby, I be
cin u when I bring da Lexus Thru Siler City, I only puts high test in da Lexus. Tailblazers trainin hard
fo next year. Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted by That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on July 07, 2000 at 02:02:50: IP Address:
63.70.14.115

Yo Yo Yo,

Be lookin like dat cracker Roy Williams be stayin in da midwest wif all da ober crackers. Now is
da time fo unc to show all dat KLASS and DIVERSITY and hire a goods head coach. It be time to
hire PHIL FORD as tha first black head coach at unc. 

UNC kan hold near and dear all doze ideas of tolerance and openness. By hiring my man Phil, unc
kan turn back hundreds of years of tryanny and DO THA RIGHT THANG by hiring ol Phil. Phil
would show a new and improved unc where DA MAN no longer be makin all da calls. UNC kan
live ups to its reputation as a universities dat fights ignorance and injutices. All dey has to do is hire
ol Phil. Of course if dey dont be hirin Phil den dey are all racists(da daughters of all dem doctors
and lawyers I usted to screw ober dera aint racist, I KNOWS!!!). ADL DA SHEED dont be fearin
u. WORD UP TO BROTHA PHIL, ASLAMA LAEKEM!!! 

Open yo hearts, open yo minds; da time fo ol Phil be heara. Dont fear him, embrace him as da
NEW HEAD COACH at unc. Lakers my ass, TAILBLAZERS STILL BE NUMBERA 1! ALL
TOGETHA NOW, PHIL FO COACH, PHIL FO COACH, PHIL FO COACH, PHIL FO
MUTHAFUCKIN COACH!!! Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted by That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on May 12, 2000 at 11:53:22: IP
Address: 63.70.14.79

Yo Yo Yo ,

DA SHEED is doin sometin on Carl Malone huh? I kickin ass and takin names, told y'all dis crolina
klass act is gonna bring home da ring. Less time fo dis sight and mo time fo dat ring, Lakers be next.
Ember dem Lakers when James Worthlessy palyeted fo dem? Dat guy set da records fo most hos
in one seasons. 

Word up to my bitches at da Million Soccer Mom March. Y'all is jus keeppin da world safe fo yo
kids, a good soccer match and a bunch of mexicans shittin in da woods. I wonder if der is many
mexicans shittin in da woods up dera in Cary NC? Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.


Sheed 

Posted by That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on May 15, 2000 at 08:20:37: IP
Address: 63.70.14.105

Yo Yo Yo,


Wha kan i say? Dun told y'all dat da BLAZERS is makin dat run. Ol Carl Malone better sticks to
Rogaine commercials cause DA SHEED dun laid(Did I say laid?) down da law.

DA SHEED is jus bein free and expressin myself to my fans. All my fans dat is. Dat counts dem
fans dat wuz lobin me when I wuz at unc. I gots dis too say to dem. Abter we knocks out dem Jazz
we is gonna be ALL UP IN da Lakers. Shaq, Kobe, Rock Fox, etc etc git ready. I is gonna be
whippin mo ass dan a French policaman on a Saturday nite at a whore house in Marseille. 

DA SHEED is workin hard fo dat ring. I predicts dat i is gonna put 27 points and 13 rebounds on
da Jazz in da mext game. Keep yo eyes on DA SHEED and keep shuutin fo da starrs. Tailblazers
number 1! Peace out.


Sheed 

Posted by That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 30, 2000 at 04:16:15: IP
Address: 63.70.14.102

Yo Yo Yo,

Dis day is fo dem unc starrs dat wuz an aint no mo. Todays we be looki nat the fabeled carrera ob
WARREN MARTIN. 

Warren Martin wuz a highly regaurded circus performer when Coach Smif saw him down in
Florida. Coach Smif wuz amazed by his abilities to doo cetain tings. Coach Smif saids dis, "Now
that guy plays a great beared lady. I need him to play certer or point guard". Thus a starr wuz born.

Warren Starred at unc from 1985-1987. These now be termed the "Golden" years at unc.

Points per game- 3.4(senior year)

Rebounds per game- 3.2(senior year)

Butt plugs per game- 5.2(4 year avberage)

Number of times falling down per game- 10.1(4 year avberage)

Time required to run from one end of tha court to tha other- 2 minutes 45 seconds.

As my bitches can see Warren had real starr powera! When my reporta found Warren his wuz
"cold" chillin in Sanford NC down at tha new Mexican sto(Tendas Romero) at the intersection of
Hwy 421 and Bullard Screet. Warren now runs da sto and he be tryin to git the ownera to sell
souse meat. Warren had dis to say to my repotas ,"unc prepared me for life. Without Coach Smith
and his ideas I would have never been so successful, I would probably still be playin a bit part as a
beared lady in some circus act." Warren then hads about 10 drunk mexicans to come into tha sto,
he had to cut that interview short. Word up Warren. He did say dis, "I aint Brendon Heywood's
twin brother, that guy is not nearly as athaletic as I". Twin o no twin, DA SHEED wood dunk on u
bof.

Well dats where he be, workin at a mexican sto in Sanford NC. Warren be carrin dat unc mantra of
klass very high. Next time any ob my fans be down on 421 drops by and c if Warren has got tha
owner to sell souse meat yet. DA SHEED likes souse meat. Tailblazers numbera 1! Peace out. 


Sheed 

Posted by That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 28, 2000 at 11:28:09: IP
Address: 63.70.14.69

Yo Yo Yo,

Fo dem peoples dat done thoughuted dat DA SHEED hads done gaveted upeted i gots news fo u. I
IS BACK, bustin rhymes, mad lycrics, struntin my stuff and aober tings. I undertsands dat
somebodies don been postin nasty stuff on dis sight but DA SHEED is hear to reassurae u. WORD
UP to da WEBMASTER. HOW BOUT DEM heels?

Like I wuz sayin, I is back. I got yo back on da court if you be a classy heel fan. We tar heels is da
best, dont lets not havin a degree fools ya. We is high(Who saids high?) klass. Fo doz dat wants to
now where DA SHEED done ben, hear be a list of da places I done hung out in da last 2 weaks.

1) Philly- Home ob da chitlin pie and klass people. Philly cheese steak my ass, we gots da best
philly cheese chitlin in da world.

2) Norf Yemen- Had to find out if Dave Popson wuz really a starr der, he wuz.

3) Frog Pond NC- Mads ups to dem boyz down at da Auto Zone. I wants my curbe feelers next
weak o dey be an ass whoppin cumin down.

4) Sri Lanka- DA SHEED done bought stock in da Lipton Tea Plantation numbera 5 down der, get
to work pickin dem tea leaves.

5) Wilson NC- Chillin at da Beefmastor down on 301. Now DATS a good muthafuckin steak.

6)Buck Bend Montana- Who said DA SHEED cant kills somting besides a 40 ob St Ideas?

Dats where I ben, dis is where I be. DA SHEED is back, no rest from all dis carolina klass.
Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.


Sheed 

Posted by That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on April 03, 2000 at 03:12:20: IP
Address: 63.70.14.110


Yo Yo Yo,

I bes worried bout dis new sports dat be takin Amerika. Its called "soccer" and I sura do see a
bunch of little kids(not DA SHEED'S kids, my kids be playin nurf hoop basketball!!!) palyin dat
sport. Dey seems to bee very disorganizeted. Kickin a ball round and yellin. I alsos c's alot of
mexicans playin soccer, dey throw down der beer(CERVZA MUTHAFUCKA!) bottles, goat
meat bones, and aober trash all ober da place. If you be watchin closen enuff u kan catch dem
shittin in da woods.

DA SHEED dones gots an answer fo dis soccer ting. Soccer dont promote "team" tinkin like
basketball does, look at DA SHEED. I is a team player. First you resticked da team to 5 players on
each team. Den u tells da players dat dey cant be kickin da ball no mo. Dey must bounce da ball on
da ground. Git ride of dem "goals" an putin round hoops. Now dat woood make "soccer" into a
team sport. Needless to say, DA SHEED wood be a STARR in soccer.

Currently soccer be a game fo whimps, perty boys, girls, goat meat eatin/Budwiser drinkin/Tiendas
Romero Lovin/LTD drivin/salsa dippin Edwardos. DA SHEED is tryin to save Amerkia from dis
plaque on dis country. Dont say dat you aint ben warned, next ting you know u be havin a mexican
or a flit-tail white boy wif a bad hair cut shittin in da woods near ur house. I is doin my part to make
Amerika safe fo da DUNK! THUG LIFE 4 EVER! Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.


Sheed

Posted by That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on April 04, 2000 at 02:51:40: IP
Address: 63.70.14.87

Yo Yo Yo,

I has ben undra fire as of muthafuckin late. DA SHEED done ben gittin pissitedted bout dis
shituation. Da NBA be tryin to keep me down, dey deny my mad moves, dey deny my talents, dey
deny my rap, dey deny eberyting. Now I bee herein at dis websight dat peoples dont likes DA
SHEED. We I gots dis to say to Jimmy, UNC Student an Queene Anne(da ho), "stick and stones
may break my bones butt muthafuckin words will neber hurts me!!!!!". I hurts u wif a DUNK! 

My techincal fouls is due to many seasons, hear be my listeted of seasons WHY da NBA be
crackin on DA SHEED.

1) Dey is jealous(eberbody be jealous of tar heels)

2) Dey is just party ob da white establismtetedment an dey is tryin to keep a hard ass urban youth
down, NEBER!(FIGHT DA POWER,-at this point Sheed breaks into a be box bit which pays
homage to Chuck D)

3) Dey commissiar ob da NBA is jealous ob dey numbera ob ladies i is got(Yo Stern, tries DA
SHEED LOVE POTION NUMBER 9!)

4) My orginala tattos, my mad hair cutt, and my pontificating on various forms of Zen Buddhism has
pissted off dey MIGHTY WHITEY.

5) My latest attack on soccer(Jimmy u saids someting bout runnin round fo 90 minutes, hell son DA
SHEED can dry hump a pillow fo 90 minutes!!! Soccer be fo perty ass white kids from da city dat
aint got da abilitys to dribbel a basketball)

6) Da FACT dat DA SHEED be da master of tha nasty funk wif my thunda dunk, i still foesta festa
tha hardest NBA starr bye far.

7)Da FACT dat i wuz grand chairman ob eedy tater festival last year AND dat i wuz caught baggin
it wif MY BOYZ down on da east side whilest takin in a bottla ob Thundabird(No mo St Ideas fo
DA SHEED)


Well der u have tit. DA SHEED is bein conspricted against by da right wing o sometin like dat i saw
on tv. Dey can fine me, dine me, wine me, sublime me, confine me, BUT NOBDOY KEEPS
DOWN DA SHEED! Klass acts wuz wha Coach Smif taughtedted me at unc. If Stern eber bee
invitin me to where he stay I is gonna stop up his shitter and smoke all his Blunts(Just like Coach
Smif dids to me). Tailblazers number 1!!!! Peace out. 


Sheed 

Posted by That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on April 06, 2000 at 02:10:02: IP
Address: 63.70.14.77

Yo Yo Yo,

Eber times I goes deep sea fishin i has gots a makeup a checketed list of tings to take. Hear be my
list of tings, check ganist dis to c if you measure up to tha hardest ass starr in da NBA.

Sheed's Deep Sea Fishin Trip List

1) Public Enemies Fight tha Power
2) Anyting by Da Snoop Dogg
3) Writings and articles by Voltarie
4) turnips
5) Shitter paper(u neber knows when da feelin be obercomin u)
6) toof brush
7) tv, vcr, Sega(with New and Imrpoved Frogger Game), couch, recliner, refrigertaor, oven, mad
sound system, hookers, hoes, bitches, chitlins under glass, and Klondkie Ice cream bars
8) picture of Coach Smif standing beside the crapper at mom's house when he left that brown trout
floating(he had a Blunt hangin on his lip two)
9) various recordings from Ska Khan
10) a copy of the Moore County Phone directory

Well dats what DA SHEED done packeted fo my trip to tha Outer Banks. I wonder if dat palace
will eber be da same? Lookout Swan Quarter, me and DA BOYZ will be cumin thru der on Friday
wif da SNOOP BLASTIN. Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.


Sheed

Posted by That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on April 12, 2000 at 04:46:15: IP
Address: 63.70.14.106

Yo Yo Yo,

Dis day is berry poplar wif DA SHEED fans. Dis is "Where dey be now, former unc greats" day.
Dis is where we looks at dem unc starrs dat once wuz butt aint no mo. Todies we be havin a
HARD ass look at JR REID. Now dis guy be KLASS wif a kapital K.

JR Reid(86-88)

Coach Smif calleted dis guy a "program bulwark"(What da fuck be a bulwark? Is dat a bird like a
medowlark?). ANYWAY JR Reid wuz a man child is da Norfolk area fo years and years. Abter a
bang up carrer at Lower Bendover High School in Norfolk, JR took his palace wif da ober starrs
and came to unc. JR joined dat legendary front muthafuckin court ob Dave Popson, Pete Clitcutt
and Joe "I am not alseep" Wolfe. No mention of Coach Smif stoppin up his crapper on a recruitin
trip.

STATS
Points per game - 15.3 (3 year aberage)

Rebounds per game - 7.3 (3 year aberage)

Height of flat top - 7.2 inches ( 2 year aberage)

Length his ass stuck out - 1 foots tree inches (2 year aberage)

Butt plugs per game - 9 (3 year aberage)

Whines and bitches per game - 34 (3 year aberage)

Whines and bitches after tha game - 12 (3 year aberage) All blonde, all dumb

What kan u say bout JR dat aint dun ben said? I mean dis guy really gots da ball rollin as farrer as
KLASS amd PROPER attitude at unc. His powera in da low post wuz unphatomable, his abilty to
screw ebery chic in Erinhouse Dome wuz a well known facts, he could eats mo rolls and biscuits
dan a pack of wild Mandarins on Saturday nite. Aber a few years of screwin ebery ting in site and
bein an oberall lazy ass thug he movebted on to tha NBA. I plays him sometimes in dem
Lengendary pickup games in Chapel Hill in da summer, DA SHEED says he aint shit. I DUNKS
ON HIM. Guy uses mo jerry curle dan Rick James did back when "Super Freak" wuz da song.

Where he be now: JR bounced round from teams two teams fo awhile and finally foundeted his spot
ass da 3rd man off da bench fo da San Antonio Spurs(I tink). In his spare time he kills squirrels with
ice chips he be shootin at dem from a straw. JR also has become quiet tha artist, his works has ben
seen on several bridges in da greater Durham area(ex "Yo Kenyatta, I lobes you"- See at the Ober
pass between 70 and 54; "I loves tha stinky stuff, thanks Shelia" See at the I40/Miami Blvd
exchange).

JR had a few tings to say bout unc and Coach Smif. "I am glad to be gettin intervieweted by on of
Sheed's repotas. I always teausre da things dey taught me at unc. I been in more hot blondes dan
Summer's Eve. I learnin a great deal about interpersonal communication and I learined bout life. I
can honesty say this, without unc and Coach Smif I would have never turned out so well". DA
SHEED kan agree wif dat. JR(which stand fo Jamal Ratass) did say dat his hair style back den wuz
somtin to beholds. Currently JR(Jamal Ratass) be sportin da Marley dreads. JR plans on becomin a
importer/exporter in tha foam padding market. UNC greats is always on da cuttin edge.

Well dats where dey be now, former unc greats dat ounce wuz butt aint no mo. Makin our way in
da world one muthafuckin day at a muthafuckin time. I matched up wif JR in da pros, i dont tink i
gots two tell u who came out on top.. DA SHEED! Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted by That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on April 13, 2000 at 05:56:39: IP
Address: 63.70.14.95

Yo Yo Yo,

Dat time ob year be hear again, dats right. It be TAX TIME. Fo free advices from one ob da
NBA's hardest ass starrs you can view da form below two see how DA SHEED fills out his
muthafuckin taxes. Dont say I aint conserened bout my fellow Americans.

Form Number 69

Name: MuthaFuckin Sheed
Address: Lane Central Dunk 4
Filling Status: Singles
Exemptions: yoself-yep
Spouse-nope 
Childruns-7 ,
Leroy, Bert, Kenytta, LaSchumda, Domiquerio, Terry, Sheed Jr

Income
Wages,Tips,Salaries: $24,345,789.15
Taxable interest: What dat be?
Alimony Received: Shit, you kiddin?
Captial Gains: I aint played der befo.
Unemployment benefits: Yes
Rental real estate, royalites, parterships: $523,039.10 fo da ho house down on Parkhurst,
$1,234,097.15 fo my mad lyrcis(Best of DA SHEED Vol 1), $12.34 fo washin moms Lexus
Other income: $764.23 fo da sale of Chitlins in a Box Microwavable Meals
Total Income: $26,103,701.97(Shit, dats alot!!)


Adjusted Gross Income
IRA deduction: I dont likes da Irish noway, bunch o crackers
Student loan: I is goin to medicalls scool
Moving expenses: $12,457,890.97
Alimony Paid: $13,645,810.00(Now u talkin!!!)
Adjusted Gross Total Income: $1.00

Taxes owed: $0.00
Refund owed to you: $5,341,832.09(Now dis is what jewish accountants be fo!!)

Ok, dat is how DA SHEED be doin his taxes. I looks like I lives a high lifestyle(and I does) of fasts
carrs and asts women but Bein a hard ass NBA starr be hard woork. Look how much I mades and
loobkes how much dey done took. Next year justsend yo taxes to da address listeted abobe and
DA SHEED will HOOK you up wif a mad return. Till next year dis is DA SHEED checkin out wif
my tax knwoledge. Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted by That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on April 18, 2000 at 03:09:46: IP
Address: 63.70.14.80

Yo Yo Yo,

Dis is DA SHEED checkin in fo a Tuesday. I gots a few tings to say fo I slips off to practice. 

1) I aint neber, eber goin deep sea fishin again on Sunday. Bitch ass got so see sick it wuz like da
first time I dranks my first St Ideas down on da cornera in Philly.

2) Howard's Pub on Oracoke Island has dis "NEW SYSTEM". DA SHEED says DAT sysytem
aint fo shit. Piss on da system, dey aint gots no mo Pabst Blue Ribbon in a bottle anymo. 

3) Word up to tha guy dat said Dainty Calarbia wuz like Oscar Wilde on Prozac in a flower patch.
Sheed say dat be damn funny.

4) Word up to Gold Toof Jeff McInnis(aka AMS). Had a good time wif u and dat farmer from
Wilson dis weekend. Keep da ladies in line, if you know what I mean.

5) Special PEACE and LOVE foes out to dat van full of Mexicans(no doubts headed to a soccer
match)dat backfired on all dem soccer moms out on I40 da ober day. DA SHEED wuz laughin so
hard dat I had two pull da Lexus over.

DA SHEED will be on less and less, i gots to concencrate on DA PLAYOFFS and DA LADIES. I
will trys to break 40 technical fouls dis year. I will be hookin my fans up from time toi time wif
"Rhymes and Versus Day" and "Where are they now day, former unc greats". I no how u be lovin
me so muck, Carolia KLASS breakin out all ober. Brain Buttsticker is da favorite male on Oracoke
Island if dat tails u how many queers der is down dear. Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.


Sheed(still see sick) 


Posted by That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on April 19, 2000 at 07:13:59: IP
Address: 63.70.14.73

Yo Yo Yo,

DA SHEED done be ober my see sickness. Man, dat wuz kind ruff on dis hard ass NBA starr. Oh,
here be 5 reasons why Queen Anne is Hoochie Mamma.

1) She be from Lexington. Dat place is tainted wif losers and hoochies. Speedys BBQ is da best
ting in town dough.

2) She secretly be lustin fo Delany Rudd. Now dats a nice piece of work to bring home to dad.
Delany wuz da king of hoochie gittin.

3) Queen Anne wuz seen hangin out at da Pump and Munch in Montgomery County. If da aint a
hoochie der den der aint no hoochie.

4) Queen Anne drives a Geo Storm. Only da rarest of da rare hoochie's drive Geo Storms. Dat 45
miles per gallon be pretty good donts it? "Hump back hump back HOOCHIE MAMMA!!!!"

5) Queen Anne is a Hoochie cause she is still in denile(not a river in Egypt)about her love fo DA
SHEED. Sheed will hang wif hoochies.

Ok folks dats a run down on Queen Anne da Hoochie Mamma. Gots to keep workin hard fo dat
NBA ring. Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted by That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on April 24, 2000 at 03:37:33: IP
Address: 63.70.14.89

Yo Yo Yo,

Happy Easter muthas!!!! Da Easter egg hunt wents fine, da kids foundeted mo bottles of
Thundabird dan dey did eggs. Dats a good Easter in my book. DA SHEED wants to broach a
subjected of mucho concern fo us hard ass NBA starrs, deoderants. 

Yo typical NBA starr aint got much time abter tha game to gits ready so we has to shower and git
ready fo da ladies. A man needs two pick tween a roll on or a stick. What is a NBA starr too do?
Tha perils of bein da man, how I fret sometimes bout da responsivbilties dat has ben pusheted
upons mes. We i is up to tha task, i just gits confuseted bout usin a roll on o a stick.

Roll on posityives
1) dey ROLL ON
2) dey is easy to finds in da sto, right down fro mda St Ideas(yes!!)
3) U can grease up a knuckle joint on a International Bailer(1345 series) if u take out da deoderant
an puts in some light oil

Roll on negatives
1) dey ROLL ON
2) Sometimes dat shit gits in yo hair when you puts on ur shit, shirt(opps)
3) Yo teammates always be stiffi nu cause most of dem uys from outside of Philly aint nebver seen
Roll on's.

Stick postivies
1) Stick(you know what DA SHEED be tinkin!!!!!)
2) Dey kans be used fo ober tings like gittin some of dat deoderant cake and rubs it behinbd yo seat
in da Lexus and ober places. Kinda like poupourri.
3) Legend has it dat tha Great Kabuki(NWA star from the mid to late 80's as well as a star in the
World Class region)used dried up stick as tha spray fo his mist.

Stick negatives
1) I hear dey kill baby seals two make sum of da ingredients of da stick
2) Da cake from da stick kan git in ur hair. Next ting u know you got a white spot inn yo hair.
Ladies like my white spot butt i is da exzemtion to tha rule.
3) Ur childruns could eat sum of da stick. Wourst case of da runs a childruns could eber git is if dey
eat da stick.

WHAT WOULD DA SHEED DO?

I wents wif da spray. Cheaper, mo effective, and it taint messy. Sheed got 3 rules, 1)Neber say u is
sorri 2) neber use answering mochines 3) Neber use roll on's o sticks. My fans stick(no pun
intendeted, whats a pun??) wif doze rules an u two can be a hard ass NBA starr. Tailblazers up 1
game to 0!!!! Peace out.


Sheed 

Posted by That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on April 27, 2000 at 05:52:39: IP
Address: 63.70.14.109

Yo Yo Yo,


Dis is da day where DA SHEED be postin bout dem focres dat put unc KLASS and integrity on da
map. Todies be "former unc greats day". Todies we is gonna lok at da carrera ob Steve Hale(The
Hair). My repotas trotted tha globa fo dis muthafuckin one. Pull close to that calmputer and enjoy
bitches.

Steve Hale wuz a highly recrutied player from Hain Kentucky(dats where Ranzio be havin da
former Union Pines activities bus!!!!) Ounce he gots to unc his exploits on da court became a ting of
humor and legend. It wuz a Carhmiecal Audiotorium fact dat his hair once scoed 5 points in one
game alone. If da mans hair kan scoe poiunts den LOOK OUT.

Stats

Points per game(3 year aberage)- 10.3
Point per game fo his hair- 7.3

ASSisits per game(3 year aberage)- 3.43
Assists per game fo his hair- 4.5

Buttplugs per game- 7.3
Buttplugs fo his hair- 1.2

Mousse useted to control dat hair- 10 fluid ounces(Dat be bout 30 less ounces dat DA SHEED be
havin in mahy hand on Sat nite, 40 OUNCES ROUND BAR KEEP)

Where he be(stay) now?

Upon graduatin from unc Steve liveted a fast paced life. His first job wuz in Sucre Bolivia where he
sold lama dung to da local pheasants. Abter securing a "LA AMERICA DEL SUR" empire of lama
shit he moveted on to Japan where Steve wuz da first Amerikan sumo champion. He deflated
Asanowaka at the Toyko Kokugikan(dats da muthafuckin Hall of National Skill to y'all. Skill,
Sheed got skill!!!) Steve wuz disqualifed as grand chamion abter he took a large crap on da dohyo
right abter a match. His fightin weight wuz sometin round 393 lbs, he musta ateted a whole ass load
of rice! He wuz stripeted of his mawashi belt and removeted in disgrace from da sport. DA SHEED
always new dat dem white boys Dean recruited in da early 80's liketed to grab ass and smack tail
wif othea mens.

Upon leavin Japan Steve took up moped and stump chipper sales inn tha Woodbridge area of
VIRGINia. He sopkted wif my repotas and had dis to say. "UNC made me what I am today.
Those lessons, those valuable lesson I learned carried me to top the of the dung heap in Bolivia and
to the level of Grand Champion(YOKOZUNA) in Japan". (Ediotrs note: Muthafuckin Steve neber
said a ting bout shitin in the dohyo.) "Coach Smith taught us well, we learned class and honor at unc.
I just cant say enough". Steve u dun said enuff. My repotas saids Steve still had all dat hair and his
pimpels were still in place. Why dose I eber interview des people? Steve did mention a two fo won
sail at MOPED AND WOOD CHIPPER EMORIUM OF WOODBRIGE. Buy one
moped(Honda Sries 3122) and u git a wood chipper or stump grinder fo free. Does Lexus make a
moped?

Well dats where he be now. Grindin stumps, sellin lama shit, and keepin drunk mexicans outfitted in
tha finest damn mopeds money can buye. DA SHEED gonna go see if Lexus makes a moped, I
kinda likes dem tings. Tailblazers up 2-0!!!! Peace out.


Sheed 

Posted by That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on April 28, 2000 at 05:53:13: IP
Address: 63.70.14.87

Yo Yo Yo,

Yo homies!? DA SHEED pulleted sum late hours last night wif my main hoochie mamma. I gots
home late in da Lexus so tings aint up to snuff todaies. US1 South might still be havin flames comin
off it abter DA SHHED blazed a trail(tailblazers yes) to tha house last night. 

Word up to Coda and Newby fo settlin wif da law. I new u guys wuz innocents. DA SHEED gots
into a foul up wif da man from time to time when I wuz in scool. Dem lawyers ober at chapel hill is
sum good mofo's. Dey is so slick dat dey could slide a trash can up a gnats ass wif sandpaper on da
sides. Now dats slick!!! Da man neber be keepin DA SHEED down. 

FIGHT THA POWER! Coda and Newby be innocent and dey is free from presuncition. Dey wuz
jus crunchin u guys cause y'alls is hard ass unc starrs. Coda i c u in da NBA next year. Coda u
gonna need dat money fo all dem kids u be havin. Newby, I c u next year when i come thru Siler
City and I be needin my gas pumped down at da corna sto der on Hwy 64. Wha a life u dun lead,
Jordan Matthews starr to carolina bench warmer(yep u wuz one of dem freaks dat neber played an
wuz always cheerin), almost and soon to be felon an coming soon DA SHEED's gas pumper.

Word up Tailblazer fans. We gonna git dat ring. Peace out.


Sheed 

Posted by That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on May 02, 2000 at 02:31:18: IP
Address: 63.70.14.85

Yo Yo Yo,

I knowe dat my hard core fans ben waitin fo dis day. Yep, RHYMES AND VERSUS DAY be
back!!!! Gonna be a bit short due to tha playoffs. Enjoy bitches.


Confused in Carrboro

Laid in da mud an i gots no pain,
I reaches fo da pills but it be in vain. 
I look fo da sky an i can not c,
Looks like da Carrboro AIDS activists cumin abter me!!!!
DA SHEED digs chics an i dont drop da soap,
When da ladies c DA SHEED dey all gots hope. 
I must say dis an its a kicker,
If i hooked wif a guy it'd be Brian Buttsticker!!!


Mama's good ol turnip greens

"Git dem greens" I yell to my maw
She say, "Sheed cut dat cabbage make da slaw".
Dis is da best day I can tink,
We gonna cook turnips and make da house stink!!!!!
Love dem tings mo da a 40 oz itself,
We be busyier dan da Keebler Elfs.
Takes yo time an do it right,
If you cooks dem too slow I'll shit all night!


We'll sorri fo da short versus and rhymes but a hard ass NBA starr's woork is neber dun. I still
FOESTA FESTA THA HARDEST NBA STARRA BYE FARRA , WORD!! Tailblazers number
1! Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted by That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on May 04, 2000 at 11:33:55: IP
Address: 63.70.14.74

In Reply to: UNC Football posted by Hershey Squirt on May 03, 2000 at 18:48:00:

Yo Yo Yo,

I aint hearde o no Wllie Parker butt i has heards of Wilhemia Parker. Dat bitch is da most lyin,
cheatin, hoin, money lovin ho in da world. Stuck me fo a bottle of thundabird one time and den ate
mom's chitlin upside down cake. When I c her again i is gonna bitch slap her, kinda like Queen
Anne. Tailblazers still gonna git dat ring. Peace out.


Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 14, 2000 at 07:42:53:

Yo Yo Yo,


Word up two Chris Wasburn who wuz seen loggin(did I say log?) at dis site yesterday. Chris wuz
klass just likes me. Dis is DA SHEED lobers favorite day, dis is(drum muthafuckin role please):
RHYMES AND VERSUS DAY!

I had done gots mo emails bout dis day dan anyober. Two bads bout dem Heels, i guess Heywood
aint goin pro. We all knows dat KLASS acts from unc always goes pros. Nuff wif da crying(done
nuff ob dat at unc when i played fo Coach Smif, did I mention that he stoppeted up my crapper
once?). RHYMES AND VERSUS FROM DA SHEED!


Fake Larry

Yo,
Listen to da story bout a fag named Larry,
He wuz kinda stupid an sura wuz hairy.
He hads no teef and he hads no klass,
His favorites foods wuz channel bass.
When he wuz down at unc's,
He learned two says he "ABC's".
Dey taughts him goods and dey taughts he well,
Butts dey couldnt teaches him to stop liken mens tail.
Word.


Brain Buttsticker Blue Sky

Down from Va like a bolt of fire,
Lookin at Brain Buttsticker draws up mys desire.
He sura be cute and he sura be nice,
I tink i saw him scores 2'a points TWICE!
As i tink i tries to recall,
How he scoreted dem points abter all.
It twas pretty simples too c how he scored,
He wuz da only muthafucker under da BOARDS.
Standin alone dreamin ob mens tails,
Hopin somebodies be givben him da rail.
Ol Brain aint bad and dats a fact,
Dey boyz on Tha Top of The Hill cuts him NO SLACK. 
So da points he scoredted came in two ways,
One wuz one da court and da ober wuz wif GAYS!


Dats all DA SHEED gots time fo today. I gots works to do(Still trying to master the New and
Improved Frogger Game). I is da master of tha funk wif da dirty dunks. I still fosta festa tha hardest
dunkin mutha in da NBA by farrrer. I is always varicose to tha calmputer. Tommorrow bees
"Former unc greats-where they be now". We will bee lookin at Jeff Colscott(Mr Knee Brace).
Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.


Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 15, 2000 at 07:36:37:

Yo Yo Yo,


Dis bees anober poplar day fo DA SHEED. Dis day is fo dem unc greats that wuz butt aint no
mo,WHERE ARE THEY NOW, FORMER unc GREATS. Pardon if DA SHEED usedted bads
grammer or spillin, i wuz out late last nite wif a lady so i is a bit tried.

Dave Colscott(1977-1980)

Dis cracker wuz tha essenc obn Coach Smif UNTIL he decideted that he needed to bee
WINNIN! Jeff Colscott wuz da typical slow, non afeletic, good grade havin, izod shirt loben
carolina basketball player(Dat aint da case no mo!). Dave playeted the point guard position fo da
heels fo 2 years. He wuz best known fo dat goofy lookin knee brac and runnin tha damn 4
cornars(did somebody say corna, i gots to see my boyz.)

Points/Game- 7.1(senior year)

Assissts/game- 4.2(senior year)

Knee braces/game- 2.2(3 year avberage)

Butt plugs/game- none(tha knee brace got in the way)

My repotas wuz lookin high and low fo Dave. Dey tried and tried to find out where he be butt we
hads very little luck. One of my repotas found some scribling on da bafroom wall at Bud OMalley's.
It said dis, "Here I am lost at unc. My basketball carrer is over and I have been asked to join The
Illumanti. I will be leaving for The Hague to take my position as a funds broker for the Southeast
Asian area. For those that read this please know that my knee really has been hurting and this knee
brace is not just for looks. It really bothers me that people would think I am faking an injury just so
that I would look different. God bless unc and God bless Coach Smith". Now DA SHEED donts
knows bout y'alls but I'd be sayin dat cracker done gone off de deep end. I aint gots no idea where
da cracker is nows. I has gots to git betta repotars. 

Welll folks dat is a pretty sorri FORMER unc GREATS DAY butt sometimes it bees hard to find
stuff on des gays. Next week we be lookin at the storied carrer of Warren Martin. Tommorrow bes
recipte day, Chitlin Agrotten. Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.


Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 16, 2000 at 07:46:27:

Yo Yo Yo,


Nofen is mo Amerkian, no eben tollhouse cookies, dan CHTILINS AOGROTTEN. Maw made
des chitlins aogrotten fo severbaral coaches dat came to da HOUSE to recruit mes. Here be da
recipte fo dis tasty meal.

1) 2 lbs of chitlins(clean ob course)

2) 1/2 table spoon ob butter(Dave Popson has a special goin)

3) 3 whole taters(cut des bitches in thin strips fo de besteted tastes)

4) 1 lump of coal

5) 1 table spoon of St Ideas(Eberting is mo betta wif ST IDEAS)

6) Tables spoon ob salt

7) peppa


Mix all dis shit togvera and den put its in a bowel. Cooks on da burna top fo bout 45 minutes to
1:30 hours. Make sura to turns da taters ober and ober, u dont wants dis shit to burn. Adds
whateber you wants as dis shit cooks(mo St Ideas, hawg jowl, turnip greens etc). When dis shit be
bout dun check to c if dey taters is light brown and kinda fluffy. If dey is den dey ready. Serve and
injoy bitches.

Well dats anober recipte from da kitchen of Miss Wallace(Sheed dis and Sheed dat , i's is gonna
makes her lip fat). Tommorrows is Pot Luck Pick day, c u den. We might be talkin bout de origin of
pocket lint. Tailblazers number 1! Peace out .


Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 20, 2000 at 08:12:22:

Yo Yo Yo,

Is life treatin u bads? Do you feels ass if u aint livin up two yo reputation? Do you question ur abilty
in da realm of LOBE? DA SHEED has gots an answer fo u!
TRY da NEW and IMRPOBED: SHEED SPEED LOVE POTION NUMBERA 9.

Heres how it goes holmes. Gets you a 40 of St Ideas, eats a goodly portion of chitlin pie(NOW
dats good stuff), walks arounds and struts in front ob da mirrora den takes a 6 oz bottle of DA
SHEED'S SPEED LOVE POTION NUMBER 9 an pour it ober yo body. Dat will guarantees dat
dey LADIES will flock to u inn record numbers, yo ability to praform will be enfranced, and u will
havebted tha blues no mo. When you need reliefs from tress and ober tings in life just says des
words: I FEEL THA NEED, THA NEED FO SHEED.(Thats Sheed Speed Love Potion number
9). Kiss dem blues goodbies.

Word up to dem HEELS. Looks like da boyz is back on da winnin track. Morrow bes Rhymes and
Versus Day, check it outs. Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.


Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 21, 2000 at 07:22:32:

Yo Yo Yo,


Dis is one ob dem favorite daze. It be RHYMES AND VERSUS DAY. Dis is where all my fans be
gettin a dose of DA SHEED and all his creatbivtive abilties. Enjoy.


A Taste of Orange 

Dey is a time of year,
When tings bees perfectily clear.
Der is a time of day,
Dat peoples will make you say.
"YO BITCH".
Da End

Frisky Whiskey

Has u eber beens to a bootlegger house? 
Does da drinks der make u feels like a louse?
When you walks in do peoples drop and pray?
Do dey looks at u like u be gay?
When you go der does da house ROCK?
Does yo cousin work fo da place foundeted by Kroc?
I axes u des tings fo reasons ob my own,
U neber know who bee hittin u up fo a loan.
I is a starr from down in Philly.
My moves, my rhymes and my lobe makin rock ladies silly.
I'll end dis rhyme in no time fasts,
Rappin fo u people has ben a blasts.
I'm outta here, got tings to do.
Maybe ol Brain Buttsticker is cornered by a yew(thats male sheep you dumbass idiots).
Word.


Well dats it fo da day from DA SHEED. I hopeted that y'all enjoyed my mad rhymes. I sura does
enjoy mad rhymin fo ya. Word up to my boyz out der in Browns Summit. Tailblazers number 1!
Peace out.


Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 13, 2000 at 07:55:06:

Yo Yo Yo,


I lobved Norf Carolina whens I wuz dere. Da peoples wuz fiendly, de womens wuz HOTT(double
T) , and the St Ideas wuz plentyful. Here bes a list of de towns where I liketed to COLD CHILL
and EXLAX. Maybe der is a few on my fans in des towns. Who I be kiddin, I gots fans in ebery
town. 

10) Piney Creek, Norf Carolina- Dey is a bunch of crackers up der in Alleghany County butt dey is
ok. I likes de cool air and da fat womens. I heres dat screwin fat womens is liketed hearin a cat eat
neck meat, LOTS OF SMACKIN.

9) Frog Pond, Norf Carolina- Dis place is ober der in Stanley County. I always had MAD UPS at
de local basketball court. Go to da Mini Mart der and says "DA SHEED done sent me". De boyz
will be loben u, ask fo Lefty.

8) Bat Cave, Norf Carolina- I aint neber been der butt I here dat Bat Girl hangs out at dat place.
Maybe she woood like to HOOK wif DA SHEED?!!! 

7) Woodville-Lewiston, Norf Carolina- Dis is da damn sticks. Home of da "Red Apple" and all
kinds of ober nasty shit. Dont be COLD CHILLIN up der when dey be burnin(who said burn?)
chicken feathers. U be throwin up like u done had a case of St Ideas when u smells dem chicken
feathers beein burnt. Lots of basketball talent der.

6) Sneeds Ferry, Norf Carolina- I wuz HANGIN wif da boyz onetime HUMPIN and THUMPIN
goin to Myrtles Beach(STAYIN AT DA HAPPY HOLIDAY!) when I hads to takes a dump. I
crappedted at the Scotchsman der on NC Hwy 17. Ober dan dat i dont know shit bout dat town.
Shitters bee clean dough.

5) Colfax , Norf Carolina- Dat place is da home of a stripper dat danceted at Tiffanys Cabinet back
in 95. Her name wuz Dixie and to say the least i wuz IN DIXIE. Nuff said. Dat town aint much butt
Dixie sura wuz. People from Colfax area known to piss in da sink at nite.

4) Pine Level , Norf Carolina- Wifout a doubt dis is da home ob da UGLIEST people in da whole
damn state. Da womens got flat foheads and de men be short in mo ways dan one. I dids go to a
chitlin eatin der won time. Damn good chitlins(no korns), damn ugly muthafuckers doin da cookin.

3) Anywhere in Durhamn County, Norf Carolina- Talks bout yo cut throat muthafuckas. Dis damn
county (BESIDESS duke) is da home of the lowest, nastiest, meaniestedted, most foul, biggest liars,
neo leftist, antidisestablismentarian lobvenin BITCHES. Des peoples is so low dey wooods eats da
Lord's Suppa and den shit on de table. I liketed to COLD CHILL wif dem boyz dough. Word to
tha boyz from Bahama.

2) Sedalia, Norf Carolina- Home of da Ramp Festival. I lobes dis place. It be in da hills and der
aint many like DA SHEED up der butt dey lobveded me. Peace goes out to Larry Smif up der in
Sedalia. I c u dis spring at da Ramp Festival. 

MY NUMBERA ONE TOWN IN NORF CAROLINA,(you guesstedted it) 

1) CHAPEL HILL-CARRABORO, Norf Carolina- NOW DIS WHAT I BE SCREAMIN. Dis
place will accpeted you fo who u bee and who u bee wif. Now DA SHEED aint no man lover butt i
wooods not minds CRUSIN CARRABORO wif Brain Buttsticker. Dey womens be hott and de
mens be hotter. Not many baseball players from dis areas due to all tha LIMP WRISTED males
runnin round(Favoirite musical instrument in dis town be da meat whistle). I cans say dis, u aint gots
to worry bout NO MAN takin your bitch, its de womens you gots to watch. Word up to my boyz
down at the Armadillo, i be der when de season be ober.

Well dats it. Dems my towns where I likted to CHILL and HANG OUT wif my fans. Too bads
bout da Hells dis weekend butt we stil lin da tournamnet. Tommorrow bes "Rhymes and verus "
day. Till den LOBEVE anbd PEACE . Tailblazers number 1! Peace out. 


Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 10, 2000 at 07:32:01:

In Reply to: Rasheed? Can you rite me ote a check foah a million dahllas? posted byRasheed
Wallace's homeless, crack-addicted father who was never around when he was growing up on
March 09, 2000 at 20:39:22:

:Yo Yo Yo,


I donts be tinkin dat u be gettin nofen of mine. I ember dat time u whopped my ass in a pick up
game down at de corna. I aints neber gots ober dat shit. Ta hell wif ya, consiber dat u be COLD
BUSTED! Comes to tink of it I will give u somtin, DA BACK OF MY HAND! Tailblzaers done
lost 4 in a row, gots to git in da groove again(Crush Groove, great movie!) Peace out. 

Sheed 

I know I wasn't around for the first 20 years of yo life. It's just a coincidence that I showed up when
you signed dat pro contract. I love you, son. I love all men. Especially the one in bed wit me rite
now: Dean Smith.

: Son, I knows that yo mama don't want you talkin to me.
: But hail, dat bitch jus wants all of yo money foah hersef. Fuck dat ho. I bet she got mo AIDS
swimmin round in hur blood den you do.

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 10, 2000 at 07:47:35:

Yo Yo Yo,

Dis be DA SHEED checkin on on ACC TORNAMENT DAY 2. I will be in C TOWN fo today
den i be goin backs to Potland. I be comin to c de fellows at carolinasucks.com . Pot Luck Pick
DAY deals(deals, I dont deals)wif Lutheran Craftsmen.

I dont knows much bout dem Lutheran Craftmen butts I can sazs a few tings hear a der bout dem
fukers. When DA SHEED mobes back to norf carolina i is gonna git on of dem guys to builds my
HOUSE(SHEED IN DA HOUSE!). Dat excelent German craftsmanship is sometin to behold. Fine
cornas, sraight lines, very angular; all in all dey be some fine builders. Perfection is dey middle name.
Lutheran Craftsmen always does a good job, dey have ben known to overengineer a damn fart.
Dem peoples wif German heritage always does tings to perfection, except when it comes to
DUNKIN. Dats where DA SHEED COMES IN. I haves butt ones problem, dem German types
dont bee liken orange or purple. Doz too colours ROCK LIKE ROYALITY.

Dey be havin names like Schimdt, Guttenblouckyty, Fisher, Lowdenduc, Wessel, Kline, Foulrwti,
Flesiman, Hendricks and a whole bunch ob ober kraut names. Look fo dem whens you wants
sometin builts. Dey can do it good. Hats off to dem HEELS, GO GIT EM BRANDON. DUNK
ON DEM. Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.


Sheed 

Yo Yo Yo,

: : Word to tha mutha. I wood first likes to tank de webmaster fo puttin DA SHEED in such a
palace of honoir wif all DE SHEED posts. 

: : Todayis is dey day where we honors dem former unc greats dat aint no mo. Today we be lookin
intos de life and carrrer of RANZINO SMITH.

: : Ranzino Smif(1985-1988)

: : Points per game- 11.2(senior year)

: : Rebonds per game- 2.4(senior year)

: : Complaints to de refs per game- 30.3(first half of senior year)

: : buttplugs per game- 8.3(4 year abergae)

: : Ranizno Smif wuz a highly recrutied high school starr frobm new yak. Coach Smif envisioned
Ranzino(Encino to his friends) as a guards/fowards. Ranzino turned into one goofy lookin mutha wif
a barrell chest and the ability to drink a case of St Ideas a night(donts ask DA SHEED how many
chitlins dat fucker kan eats). Ranzino is bestd embered fo shootin dat last seconds brick in de ACC
Tournament Finals against dey Wolfpac(WORD UP TO Vinnie Del Negro)in 1987.

: : Aber leabing unc Ranzino wents on to play fo de Ceder Rapids Optimist Club. He wuz a starr in
dey 14-18 year olds legaue and dey retiried his jeresy. My repoters beat de path longs and hards fo
dis story. Ranzino den went on two attempts too open a chain of Viking Foods Fast Foods
resturants(Rack of Lamb Kiddie Meal?) Abter dis absmal failures , Ranzino den fell in lobe wif a
large womens nambeded Terri(yes dats wif an eye). Dey now libe happily in an old activitry bus that
Ranzino bought from Union Pines High School in 1993. Dey tooks dey wheels off and hads
propane gas shooked up. Dey libe in Hain Kentucky, where de men is men and de womens is two! 

: : My repoters axed Ranzino fo sum quotes bout his unc years, dis is what he saids. "I loved my
damn time at unc. Those parties at the Top of the Hill(DA SHEEDS reopoters tolds me dat dey
Tops of Da Hill wuz a gay club, shhhhh!) really filled me up. I have built my life on the great
teachings of Dean Smith. Coach Smith builds great players, great leaders and model citizens(DA
SHEED cans agrree wif dat!). Ranzino dids have an interetsing points, he axed my repoter bout
Dean and recurting trips. "Did Coach Smith ever stop anyone elses crapper up on a recruiting trip?
Mom used a gallon and a half of draino on our crapper back in 83. I have two things to say about
Dean, 1) he sure can coach and 2) he sure can shit." Amen brotha, amen.

: : Well dats where he be now. Former unc greats dat wuz but aints no mo. I woulds dunk on
Ranzino in a second. Bitch aint no good. Tommorrow be recipte day(Chitlin Cake, yum yum!!!!)
Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.

: : Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 08, 2000 at 22:05:55:

In Reply to: ACC Arenas - An updated list posted byJohn Feinstein on March 08, 2000 at
18:12:57:

:Yo Yo Yo,

NOBODIES GOES DISREPCTIN DA SHEED. My motha tolds you to keep dat damn mouf shut
of yors a few years ago when you saids i wuz neber in klass. Next time DA SHEED be seein you
dey will bees a BITCHIN SLAPPIN goin down on yo ass. Tailbalzers number 1! Peace out.


Sheed

Posted ByTHE REAL That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 07, 2000 at
16:37:20:

In Reply to: Yo, Yo, Yo posted byThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 07,
2000 at 14:55:54:

:Yo Yo Yo,

Looks! Dont be usin my title to do dis o dat. Comes up wif a new name of yo owns. Dat looks
estupido fo u to be cumin in unda my name. Der be only one SHEED, AND DATS ME
MUTHAFUCKA!(I will neber lets u ride in my Lexsus) 

You be disin me and disrepctin me. Eben doe I aints got no degree from unc dat dont mean I cants
figure tings out. I figure I be DUNKIN on you in a pick up game, punk. I got mad ups at de Biscoe
Town Park during dey CHITLIN FESTIVAL! Nuff wif DA SHEED rip offs, dont settle fo nothin
butt da best. DATS ME. Tailblazers number 1! Tomorrows be Ranzino Day. Peace out.


Sheed 


Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 07, 2000 at 09:04:11:

Yo Yo Yo,

Dues to da popularity of dis item i is proud to tails you dat i is gonna make dis a permanet part of
dey program. Too bads bout dem dookies on Saturday, de heels wil lbe back. We is gonna wins da
tournament and den when tha NCAA o the CIAA which eber comes first. 

Most of de rhymes and versus today deals wif lose, lobve, rump shakers, chitlins, lowriders and
oberall ass kickin/basketball dunkin/Brain Buttsticker loben/St Ideas drinkin/Coach Smif worshipen
HEELMANIA! Here is a fews from de pin of DA SHEED. Speakin of pin, dids anybodies c me
PIN dat shot from Duncan against tha bachboad? I'd dunk on Duncan. Here bes tha rhymes and
verus fo dis day of da Lord, March 8th 1999. Enjoys bitches.


Humpin and Thumpin

Letin it hang out to da side,
I grabs it and pulls it so its will hide.
Dat thing is hard i cans bearly c,
What is dis feelin comin ober me?
Dey music is bumpin like DA SHEED under de boards,
Dem bitches is comin ats me like de Mongul Hordes.
I saz to dem "What you wants wif DA SHEED?",
Dey sazs to me "Gives it two us, we be in need".
I feels funny and I wonts to cry, I lets outs a roar up on high,
Dey axes again and I begins to think. 
Dem bitches is hoes and dey might stink. 
I axes dem dis and dat and den dey say,
"Yo Sheed, you likes Brain Buttsticker you must be gay"
I be yellin," i aint gay",
looks at dis thing I is pullin yo way.
Dey scream and cry and smile ats me,
Dem bitches is laughin at my little pee pee.


Comin Home to Philly

Dey laugheted ats me and thumped my head,
I is gonna fill dem bitches fulls of lead. 

Dis is DA SHEED live from Porteland,
Dunkin and screamin wif a few cards of pokemon.

I wants to bes traded to tha Sexers(Sixers),
So thats i can shows my stuff fo dem Gen Xers.
I is a starr dat cants be stopped,
I wants to show off fo my buddies drinkin down on da block.

What i misses bout da east coast is clear,
I plate fulls of chitlins and a gut full of beer(St Ideas)


Starr Power

Sheed
Master of tha slam 
Eater of chitlins and pot full of ham
I is da best aint dat aint no lie, I makes mf's cry
My rhymes be mad, glad and funky too 
I bes comin to a 
Town near you

Yo, here bes an oldey butts a goody.


Lick'em and Stickem

Whens I wuz youngs and in my prime,
I coulds gits a piece any ol time.
Nows DA SHEED bes old and my nuts be cold,
BUT I STILL GITS A PIECE. YEAH BOOOOYYYYYYYYYZZZZ.
(Thought DA SHEED would lose the ability to screw, WRONG!)

Well sem is a few from dey pin of DA SHEED. I am here fo my fans anytimes and any place. Dont
fogit, Weds be "Former unc stars-where are they now". We will be proflining Ranzino Smith(Smif).
Alasma lackem my brothas. Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 06, 2000 at 07:00:05:

Yo Yo Yo,

Dis is DA SHEED checkin inns afber a longs weekend(guess who gots da long?). I has
dicoverbered dis new ting, race poles. Dey systems worketed likes dis, u gives dem money and
yous pulls out a name of a racer. If you hits da 1st,5th, 10th or last muthafuckin palce you win sum
monies. 

Now i has ben doin dis shit fo 2 o 3 weaks. I keeps pullin out Dick Trickle o some otha non drivin
cracker. I canint wins no monies. I has a sugesgestion, I tinks dey needs to put Lexusus' on da
circuit. U should c's my Lexsus, curb feelers, muthafuckin system and man can dat car go(hydralic
lift kits are a plus.)! I kan c it now, DA SHEED is cumin down dey backstretch wif Dale Earnhard
ups front, DA SHEED hits dey gas and passes Earnhard wif his Lexsus spots utlity vehcile
HUMPIN AND A THUMPIN(I'd have muthafuckin Snoop blasting out my carer). I takes
Earnhard fo da checkered flags. DA SHEED WINS!!!!!! Afber da race i woods entertain dey
LADIES.
Why does rednecks does it doggy(not Snoop) style? So dey can bof watch dey race.

Well i says watch out fo dem race pools. Here be DA SHEEDS favorite drivers:

1)Richard Pryor in "Grease Lighting"

2)DA SHEED on Fraklins Street on Friday nite

3)Jeff Gordon and his brofer Flash

Dickle Trickle cants wins a race fo nofin. Tommorrows is "Rhymes and versus day". Tailblazers
number 1! Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 04, 2000 at 13:05:46:

Yo Yo Yo,

Dis is DA SHEED checkin in fo a saturday. I gots to agreeds wif ya on dat Horvack dude. He bes
one ugly muthafucka. He bes so damns ugly i dont knows if i coulds dunks on him o not, just kiddin.
I'd dunks on him! 

Nows if u's wants to c's some nice hairer looks no father dan DA SHEED and my flowin locks of
hairer. i gots to get my "waves" back goin again. Da ladies lobves de "waves". How dat Horavk
wear a yamack wif dat hair of his? Dat nose of Horvak could smells a pots of chitlins cookin from
bouts 10 miles aways. I is sura dat he ateted a good manys chtilins up bout jersey way. Game day,
times fo DA SHEED to gits ready fo da heels and de devbils. GO HEELS! I calleted heywood lasts
nites to gives him da scoupe on doin da nasty funk wif da dunk, he be ready. Tailblazers number 1!
Peace out.


Sheed 

Yo Yo Yo,

DA SHEED is fellin much better. i is a bit pissedted bout dis talk dat is disin my gramer. I taught dat
"DIVERSE " ideas and "DIVERSE" ways ob lookin at tings wuz what unc wuz all bout. I guesses i
is wrong. DA SHEED donts give a muthafuckin damn what is gittin old and whats aint gittin old;
tune in, turns on , drops out, THEN DUNK ON DEM!

Dey is a few peoples dat seems a bit " INTOLERENT" of different muthafuckin views. Sos i talks
funny, sos i looks funy; i eben types funny. Is dat a reasons to looks down on DA SHEED? Alls i
wans is too bes lobved and accepetedted. Is dat two much to axes from my fellows mans? I says
know. Dat good brotha Eric Micheal Dyson(You fellows recall Dyson right? He was the afrocentric
studies guy from unc that gave a speech at spring 95 graduation and laced the damn thing with
profanity. I think he is at Harvard now getting paid a ton of money to tell Ivy League Whites all
about their "white gulit". I short he doesnt do squat!) saids dat he saws nothin wrong wif ebonics, he
saids dat "iceman language is beneath sun people". I quotes Dyson, "We gots to turn tha muthafucka
out!" Word up Eric.

I gots to runs(not da runs no mo but to runs. U's nos what I means.) I is tried od gittin blasted fo dis
and dat. No mount of studin will bring down DA SHEED. As dey say backs in de homeland of
Philly, "Aslas malakem my brotha". Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.

Sheed 

Hoppie and all u othea knockers of DA SHEED needs to CHILL. I is doin my ting an i aints hurtin
nobodies. 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 02, 2000 at 09:15:01:

Yo Yo Yo,

DA SHEED aint feelin too well. I is gonna has to skip dis day devotued to my moms cookin. Sorrys
bout dat, i tink i dranks too much St Idea last muthafuckin nite. I gots da shits. Tomorrows is pot
luck pick. Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.

Sheed(wif da shits) 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 01, 2000 at 20:44:58:

Yo Yo Yo,

Yo Hoppie. I is pretty dang smarts aint i? Ember dat time i wuz axed bout goin pro and my reply
wuz dis, "Dey wuz a big diffrnce tween high schools and college buts I made that transaction just
fine"(The fucker REALLY did say TRANSACTION, no media coverage on that though). Hoppie
donts worries bout me "slippin" here o "slippin" der. U wories bout yoself and u's had betters
worries bout DA SHEED "slippin" down de lane fo a DUNK! Hoppie i bets u tink Brain Buttstick
is cute, i does. As allways, a unc klass acts. Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed's Head on March 01, 2000 at 14:05:49:

Yo Yo Yo,

Yo hoppie. Where did i's says anyting racist? Whens did i ever insults somebdoies cause dey race?
Isnt dis free speech? Hoppie plezase define racism fo me. I is confusueded. Hoppie how did I goes
racist? Whens dids i ever do anyting but speak my minds? 

Yo Hoppie. I tink if u's dig downs deep in yo minds, u's will c dat i aint done nofen to nobdoies. U's
need to ober comes yo insecutireties bout dis and dat. I is just shakin and bakin in dis room sharin
de LOVE wif my fans. Grows da hell up fo i bitch slaps u. Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.

Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 01, 2000 at 13:53:25:

In Reply to: Hey Sheed posted byArvydas Sabonis on March 01, 2000 at 13:30:52:

:Yo Yo Yo,

U's is one stupid ass Lituhianan. I will dunks on u fo breakfast, fo lunch, and fo suppa. I aint carrin
nobdoies bags, i is DA SHEED. I is gonna bitch slap u abter de next practice. Why dont u's goes
back wheres u comes from? Tailblazers number 1?(eben if we do's have a foreigner) Peace out.

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 01, 2000 at 07:34:54:


Yo Yo Yo,

Dis dey is fo dem unc greats thats is no mo. I thoughted of dis when i wuz on da crapper a few eeks
ago. I pickeded uped a unc program dat my mom wuz readin to me earlier. I thoughted two myself,
"Sheed, u needs to do a piece on des guys, dey aint no muthafuckin goods and u would dunks on
dem but dey went to unc." So here it be, former unc greats.

Dave Popson(83-87)

Dis guy wuz dey quintesential unc starr. He wont worf a shit but Coach Smif mades him a starr. A
goods many young prepubic hair females swayed ober dis guy. I woods dunk on dat muthafucka! 

Scoing aveberge- 10.2/game(mad ups, senior year)

Rebunds/game- 4.1(senior year)

Number of butt plugs/game- 11(4 year avberage)

Note: Dave wents to da NBA like all unc players. His highlights wuz hittin a set shots from de
corner(3 point shot, DA SHEED can shoots dem) when he played fo da Boston Celtics(white
boyz)against de Pistons during de 89 season. Abter dat he wents bust, not likes cold busted.

Where he be now? Afber a bang ups carerer fo da Celtics Dave(that be Davey the Fireplug to his
buds)went on the palys in the Europeans leagues fo a time. He later becomes a filme starr in Norf
Yemen and he currently sells butter outside a discotech(HOT ladies in der, DA SHEED knows) in
Dussemuthafuckindorf Germany. He sends his bests to all de unc fans and he had dis quote whens
my reporters intervieweded him; "Tell them I cherished my years at unc. Coach Smith always makes
great people and stars. With out that system my life would have been incomplete, look at my
success now. I sell 300 lbs of butter per week to these damn KRUATS! SEIG HEIL MEIN
COACH SMITH! EIN VOLK, EIN REICH, EIN SMITH!" My reported said Dave(the Fireplug)
still had the bowlhair cut. Dave said," Brian Buttsticker sure is cute".

Well dats when he bees now. Former unc greats makin they muthafuckin way in de world. DA
SHEED know sbout makin yo way, i makes my way down the lane fo a DUNK! I still fosta festa
tha hardest NBA starr by farr word. Tailblazers number 1! Peace out 



Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 29, 2000 at 11:48:13:

In Reply to: Rasheed Wallace posted byRasheed Wallace's high school guidance counselor on
February 29, 2000 at 10:45:36:

:Yo Yo Yo,

Didnts yous tells me thats I'd bes a janitor? Hell i cleans up alright, I cleans da boards ebery night in
da NBA. Tanks fo da support. Ax me anyting u wish, I'd tells you. Sura peoples is envious of mes.
I sura can dunk wif da best of dem, coach smif taugh me all bouts klass. Tailblazers number 1!
Peace out. 

Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 29, 2000 at 07:27:51:


Yo Yo Yo,

Dis dey is dedicated to the idea of Sheed pontificating bout my rhymes and lycics. Des poems is da
best from DA SHEED! Hear bes a few fo yo viewin. Enjoys bitches.

Od to Chitlin Pie

Dey once wuz a pie of guts,
Dat stunk and smells likes ol ruts.

Mom cleaned an cooked em til she bout did die,
She cleaned dem chitlins til she wuz bouts to cry.

Den came DA SHEED in all his muthafuckin chitlin greed,
I gots be a fok and stabbed fo a slice,
Afters taken a bites i discovered someting not so nice. 

Mom wuz not as good at cleanin chitlins as she had sworn,
When I bites in dem chitlins dey wuz full of corns.
De end.


Loins of fire

Once DA SHEED wuz fulls of spunk,
Once DA SHEED dids likes to dunk.

I wuz da man all days long,
I wuz da man wif da 10 inch slong.

Den i mets dis right nice guys,
He wuz cute and drank St Ideas,
We paled arounds and hit tha strip,
Cause you knows in chapel hills suckin dicks is hip.

Now i aints no fag an dats a fact,
A mans likes me aint no hack,
I digs dem chics and i likes dey smell,
BUT DAT BRAIN BUTTSTICKER IS CUTE AS HELL!


Dems is some of my poems. I hopedted that you liked dem. Tomorowo is "Where are dey now
day- former unc starrs". Be sura to tun inn to dis place. Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.


Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 28, 2000 at 08:26:15:


Yo Yo Yo,

Word to tha mutha!!!! DA SHEED needsed a break dis weekend. Da Tailblazers tooks too mucho
of my times. Fo all my mudafuckin fans well, I is BACK!

Dis is da new flowmat fo dis week. Todays I is gonna talks bout 2 of my 3 favorite tings, DUNKIN
and DRINKIN. My turd favorite ting is screwing. Dats fo anovfer time.

When DA SHEED funks fo a nasty dunk I gots 2 tings in mind; one is jammin on da ovfer team and
de seconds ting is puttins my dick in da face of da ovfer team. Man nofen better dan dunkin, pullin
downs on dat rim a stickin yo love muscle in onvfer mans face. Den I runs downs da court shakin
and bakkin. Man dey sura do teach klass at unc. Coach Smif always tolds me dis, "Sheed, you
have talent and you are a star. Go for it. You are at unc and that means class. Go dunk on them
Sheed". Dats why I lovbes coach Smif, eben if he dids stops up da crapper at my moms house. 

I aint much od a dinking man bys nature but from time to muthafucki ntime i likes a cold one. DA
SHEED has two rules of thumb when drinkin, USE TWO FISTS AND DINK AS MUCH AS
YOU CAN AS FAST AS YOU CANS. My favorite drinks is as follows:

1) St Ideas (dis shit makes yo dick HARD)

2) Da Bull (old reliables)

3) Cold 45 (dats fortie fives)

4) Any kinds of fruity drinks wif umbrellas in dem

5) Anything Phil Ford is buyins. Now dat muthafucka cans DINKS. 

P.s.ss: Phil's wife gots good poo poo.

Dis is da NEW and IMPROVED SHEED. I knows my fans lobes me. Dont fogit, morrow is
poeterty day. Rhymes and versus from DA SHEED. Yo girlfriends will be charmed, yo muthafuckin
friends will bes jealuos. Now i gots "ups" on dis here videos games(New and Imrpoved Frogger
Game). AXES ME NO QUESTIONS, I TAILS U'S NO LIES! Tailblazers number 1! Brain
Buttsticker suras bes cute. Peace out. 


Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 28, 2000 at 10:10:52:

In Reply to: Re: Dunkin and Drinkin posted byJeff McInnis on February 28, 2000 at 09:23:02:

: : 
: : Yo Yo Yo,

: : Word to tha mutha!!!! DA SHEED needsed a break dis weekend. Da Tailblazers tooks too
mucho of my times. Fo all my mudafuckin fans well, I is BACK!

: : Dis is da new flowmat fo dis week. Todays I is gonna talks bout 2 of my 3 favorite tings,
DUNKIN and DRINKIN. My turd favorite ting is screwing. Dats fo anovfer time.

: : When DA SHEED funks fo a nasty dunk I gots 2 tings in mind; one is jammin on da ovfer team
and de seconds ting is puttins my dick in da face of da ovfer team. Man nofen better dan dunkin,
pullin downs on dat rim a stickin yo love muscle in onvfer mans face. Den I runs downs da court
shakin and bakkin. Man dey sura do teach klass at unc. Coach Smif always tolds me dis, "Sheed,
you have talent and you are a star. Go for it. You are at unc and that means class. Go dunk on them
Sheed". Dats why I lovbes coach Smif, eben if he dids stops up da crapper at my moms house. 

: : I aint much od a dinking man bys nature but from time to muthafucki ntime i likes a cold one. DA
SHEED has two rules of thumb when drinkin, USE TWO FISTS AND DINK AS MUCH AS
YOU CAN AS FAST AS YOU CANS. My favorite drinks is as follows:

: : 1) St Ideas (dis shit makes yo dick HARD)

: : 2) Da Bull (old reliables)

: : 3) Cold 45 (dats fortie fives)

: : 4) Any kinds of fruity drinks wif umbrellas in dem

: : 5) Anything Phil Ford is buyins. Now dat muthafucka cans DINKS. 

: : P.s.ss: Phil's wife gots good poo poo.

: : Dis is da NEW and IMPROVED SHEED. I knows my fans lobes me. Dont fogit, morrow is
poeterty day. Rhymes and versus from DA SHEED. Yo girlfriends will be charmed, yo muthafuckin
friends will bes jealuos. Now i gots "ups" on dis here videos games(New and Imrpoved Frogger
Game). AXES ME NO QUESTIONS, I TAILS U'S NO LIES! Tailblazers number 1! Brain
Buttsticker suras bes cute. Peace out. 

: : 
: : Sheed 


: Yo Yo Yo Yo
: Waaddupp SHEED! You'ss be muhfuckin right about Phil Ford's wife havin some hot dam poo
poo. Man dat bitch be kinky and slinky and ready to rock and roll ever time I be comin to da hill.
Deys one ting I's have to call bullshit on wit you my man. Dat be yo choice in likker. Why de hell
you leave off Da Eight Ball? You knows dat we used to chill wit dat shit and some blunts whiles we
wuz snakin de ladies at Earinhose dorm back in de day. You get some Eight Balls in one dem white
layers daughters, and she be ready to throw dat shit all in yo face! Even an ugly muthafucka like
steve bucknall gets him some snatch when da Eight Ball bottle be passed around! Dats all fo now.
Dis be McInnis and I be gone.

Yo Yo Yo,

Whazzzs up gold toof? Long times no c's. Where you be now? I lefts out 8 ball fo a couple of
seasons. One season is dis, i is high klass now. I dont dinks dat stuff no mo. De ofber season is dat i
is now a high paid NBA starr, I cant afords more costly drinks and stuff. 

I aint got no ideas where Steve Bucknall is no mo. He mights still be waitin to git into Shooters 2 on
Western Blvd in Raleigh. Ember dat time he spit in JR Reed's face down der? I would dunks on bof
of dem. Steve hads one of dem stupid english accents, he aint no American so i aint gots no use fo
him. Tailblzaers number 1! Peace out.


Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 25, 2000 at 07:53:49:


Yo Yo Yo,


De is times when a mans needs to CHILL and just exlax. Nofen can exlax a mans like a day
CHILLIN on de bank of a pond wif a few bottles of St Ideas and a fishin pole(I gots another pole
too, guess which ones I fishes wif?).

DA SHEED likes to fishes in da ebenin afer games. De best ponds can be founds along ol road
slides nexted to de highway. U's needs an ol bucket to shiton and a cooler fo yo muthafuckin St
Ideas. OH, u alsos needs a bucket fo yo muthafuckin worms. 

i tinks de best worms bes knightcralwers. Dem fishes seems to lobes knightcrawlers. I usedtoed dig
my owns knightcralers BUTT i gots tired of diggin in cow paddies. I just buys deem knightcrawlers
at de sto now. De best sto's sell souse meats too. 

I fishes very simple. I uses a bob wif a simple mudafuckin hook wif de knightcralwer stuck(LIKE
DA LADIES!) on de end. Dems fishes cant resists(LIKE MY ARREST DAT TIME FO
SMACKIN DAT BITCH WIF MY KID) a goods ol knightcrawler. 

So der you haves it. Hows to CHILL and fishes. Dont dear say dat DA SHEED dont cares bout
his fans. If a mans be sharing his fishin tips wif ya , he be sharin anyting wif ya. TAILBLAZERS
NUMBER 1! Peace out.


Sheed 

Posted ByTHE REAL That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 25, 2000 at
07:24:09:

In Reply to: Goodbye All posted byThat White Spot On Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 24,
2000 at 20:59:33:

:Yo Yo Yo,


Punk ass muthafucka! Comin in hearra an sayin dis and dat bout DA SHEED. I is da REAL
SHEED and i aints goins nowheres. I should whip da shit outta u. Sheed is hear to STAYS!
Tailbalzers number 1! Look for de new an imrpoved Sheed startin moninday. Peace out. 

Posted ByThe White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 23, 2000 at 08:50:05:

Yo Yo Yo,

Now I is pissed. First off dis Jeff guy cant take a young NBA starr speakin out bout dis and dat.
Den de webmaster starts takin bout "our black friends". Since when duz color have anything to do
wif sounding off? Its called free expressin and I is sura gonna dos it whenevers I cans. Man, yous
peoples is startin to pisses me offs. 

Word up to my brotha Cozell. Man you hads potential but nothin like DA SHEED. I'D dunk on
yous in a second. How is a young NBA starr to handle all dis famines and fortunes? I ask yous my
fellow homeboyz, "wha is I's to dos wif all dis money and time?" I is juuz blowin off steam, tryin to
tell people bout good chitlins and bes and all round klass guy. Nuff wif da Sheed bashin. Y'alls
needs to growd up.

Now I aint got no mo time for dis shit. I is gettin braces on my teefs. I is tired of dat big gap in my
too front teefs. On a lighter note i will have a schedule fo de next couple of weeks. Each
muthafuckin da will have a agenda. Da agenda is as follows:

Moindays- Sheed will be speakin on dunkin and drinkin

Tuedays- Sheed will shows his knowledge of poterty

Wed- Sheed wills speak on pasts unc starrs such as Dave Popson and Steve Hell

Thurdays- Dis is recipt day. I will give all of my moms muthafuckin cookin secrects.

Friday- Hell, dats game day. Pot luck dat day.

Sat and Sun- Sheed needs his damn rests. I be chillin wif da boyz and LADIES.

I hopes yous all wil likes de new and improved SHEED WEBSITE. I'll knows you lovebes me.
Peace out .


Sheed 

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 23, 2000 at 08:54:56:

In Reply to: Sheed posted byyourdaddy on February 22, 2000 at 23:47:36:

:Yo Yo Yo,


Da hell wif hEywood. Dey calls him baby shack. Sheed would dunks on him NO PROBLEMA.
Heywood field goal % be sometin likes 72%. Shit, Man I could shoot mo da a damn dunk shot.
Sheed took 3's and all ofver kind of dam nshots. Heywood ates two many chitlins last year at da
festival. We is havin a dunkin contest dis year. Guess who bes de odds on favoritea to wins? Sheed.
TAILBLAZERS NUMBER 1! Peace out. 

Sheed

Posted ByTHE REAL That White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 22, 2000 at
17:17:03:

In Reply to: That White Spot on Rasheed Wallaces Head posted byJeff on February 22, 2000 at
15:30:18:

:Yo Yo Yo,


Der seems to bes a problem. Somebodies has a problems wif freedom of speeach and expressin. I
mean DAMN! I is jus ckeckin in to c how my homeboys is doin. Can an NBA starr and ex unc
starr checkin in wifout bein bashed? 

Jeff you needs to "CHILL". Me and da boyz is always cold chillin. I fosta festa the hadest NBA star
by fars and I wuz always FIRST KLASS when on da court and in da klass room at unc. I suggests
you grow da hell up befo I has to bust a move on ya. Some peoples can dishes it outs but dey cant
takes it. Tailblazers number 1! You all lovbes mes. Peace out.


Sheed

Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 22, 2000 at 07:58:36:

Yo Yo Yo,


Achtung yoself muthafucka. I recalls dunkin on yous in practice. Course I dunked ons everbodies.
The only thing that can stop Sheed is Sheed. I can be slowed down by a bottle of St Ideas, a piece
of butt and some hot chtilins(fried).

I be gettin emails from all des assholes. Dey want to know dis and dat about Sheed. Well I dont
wants anybodies buttin(unless its Brain Buttsticker) in my business. I'll give yous a list of my favorite
teams, foods, movies, books, carrreas(cars), hotells, video games etc etc. Dis is Sheeds favorite
thangs in life, enjoys.

Favorite team- de team I is playin fo

Favorite player- Sheed

Favorite food- chtilins(fried)

Favorite movie- Breakin

Favorite coach- Ric Dunleavy(used to be coach smif but he shittted in my moms crapper and we
hads to get a stick to break dat brown trout up befo it would flush)

Favorite hotell- Happy Holiday(myrtles beach)

Favorite writer- well it aint John Feinstein dats fo surera

Favorite song- Oh Shelia(by Debarge)

Favorite drink- Thundabird, I also is fond of fruity drinks with umbrellas in dem

Favorite unc player- Sheed


Well dats a few of my favorite thangs in life. I is tired of gettin emails. Now if a few of da ladies
would send in a few pictures dat would bes nice. Tailblazers number 1! Keep it real. Peace out. 


Sheed