No HOLD'EM
HEALS meal deal dis weak either.
Yo Yo Yo, Jus waitin fo da game
to be ober Saturday ebenin so dat me an THA LADY cood roll on
up in a Wendy's. Gots Master P playin, I drives up fru da drive
fru window in tha PHAT a$$ Lexus an lets dem golden words roll
off ob dis HARD A$$ lips..................... "I'd like one ob
dem HOLD'EM HEALS meals, sucker. Make dat two, an two fruity sodas
wif each." Now what did u tink dis no anger management goin to
NBA starra hurd? "I'm sorry sir but the tar heals lost this weekend.
There is no meal deal this week AGAIN." When is Puntin gonna cum
fru fo a brotha? When is da HOLD'EM HEALS meal deal eber gonna
git goin? Peace out. Sheed
Whats Rabbit
Wadell gonna do abter scool?
Yo Yo Yo, MOVE BACK TO ELLERBE AN
WORK AT................... PABLO'S LA STYLZ Yes, berry soon da
unc great Rabbit Wadell will sura a$$ a mutha be changin ur skunky
rims in fo sum PHAT rims, he'll be checkin ur lift kit an puttin
ur "Los Mas Mucho Hombre" stickera on ur low ridin Ford LTD. Dey
doin all dey kan at PABLO'S LA STLYZ to keep all da Edwardos in
tha great Richmond County area sassy an fat. Say "Candor be 1,590
miles from Gadjulhra" an dey'll put down a new wax coat on ur
CHILLIN carra. DA SHEED goes dera, u shood two. Peace out. Sheed
Election
update from Montgomery County!!!
Yo Yo Yo, Da repoters be spread
out X Montgomery County countin votes, hears tha break ass ob
5:30 PM.
Troy: Dole-40% Bowles-27% The Calicutt
Boys-0.4% Biscoe Dole-21% Bowles-34% The Descendents of Earl Skine-20%
Hardees Biscuit Lady(RIP)-10%
Mt Gilead: Dole-1% Bowles-1% Jesse
Jackson/Al Shrapton(write in)- 85% Blackankle Dole-3% Bowles-0%
David Duke-60%
Candor(no hablas english): Dole-4%(last
of the bluebloods vote, oh they live in Pinehurt now) Bowles-10%
Vicent Fox(President of Mexico)-300%
Star: Dole-45% Bowles-22% Dolly
Boy-20% Pekin Dole-10% Bowles-10% The Legend of Saquatch-40% Folks
dera it be, democracy in action. Peace out. Sheed
Urban quextion:
Duz Charlie "Choo Choo" Justice Wear depens?
Yo Yo Yo, He's bout tha only unc
ting we gots goin on. Quextion be, will dat bladder hold out?
Do he wear DEPENDS? Do he still be kickin? WORD. Peace out. Sheed
I IS Offendeted!!!
Yo Yo Yo, So now it dun got cool
to frow off on da brothas? As a URBAN SWANKA$$ youf I must speaks
tha hell out gaint dis "buckwheat" thang. Eberytimes we takes
a step forward ass a people (note the collective line of thinking
which excludes the individual) sum cracker comes along an casts
rays ob negative vibes down amongst my peoples. u is a racist
plain an simple. In da prose ob tha HIP Johnny Croachran, "U tink
Buckwheats cool? Den u is a racist fool." Peace out. Sheed
Git ur Honda
Accord LOWERED an PHAT rims addeted!!
Yo Yo Yo, We knows how CHILLIN WHEEELS
makes da man. Wanna know where to git dat Accord lowereted an
PHAT rims frown up in dera? Pablo's LA STLYZ in big beutiful Ellerbe,
Norf Carolina!!! Lowering job- $1,000 dollars(15,000 pesos) PHAT
rims 48"- $500 dollars/each(7,500 pesos each) Curb feelers- $75
dollars(1,125 pesos) Lights undera da carra- $200 dollars(3,000
pesos) Lift kit addeted- $890(13,350 pesos) U kan be da BADDEST
BATO in all ob Richmond County abter u dun rolleted up in ol Pablo's
LA STLYZ!!! Weather u be CHILLIN in Derby, spinnin wheels at da
Texco in Norman, Bustin caps in East Rockingham, or just gittin
sum JELLY in da parkin lot ob tha Hardees in Hamlet u will always
be mass mucho grande muthafucker when u deal up wif Pablo. Peace
out. Sheed *Frank Sinatra- Class* *The Comintern had extensive
influence in the American picture industry and well as the major
labor unions.*
Did sumbody
say acemdic requirmints?
Yo Yo Yo, Coachin Buntin be right.
unc wood neber stoop so low as to bring in sum guy dat gots no
BIZNA$$ @ a scool like unc. unc is mo dan touchdowns an dunks.
It be bout makin da well roundeted (pun intended) purson dat grows
an grows(specially abter Q DAWG parties!!) when placeted in da
scene majesticalt campus ob unc-chapel hill. unc has always been
tops when it cameted to scool an makin grades. unc nebver gots
playas suspendeted fo knot makin grades. Ax anybody bout unc,
dey knows. unc do it da wright way, we goes fo scholaers furst
den we goes fo afeletes. If u kant chim wif dat den u is jeaolus.
Peace out. Sheed
NC Sardine
Festival dis Friday @ Aberdeen Lake
Yo Yo Yo, DA SHEED wuz gonna be
dera but Ebony is puttin on a fashion show in Atlanta. What kan
u git @ tha Sardine Festival? crackers(Saltines) fishes(4 types;
in soybean oil, in water, in mustard, in bbq sauce) RC Colas Moon
Pies Patsy Cline & Frank Sinatra(on CD of course) Starts @ 10:30
rain o shine!!! I'll be doin a remix next year an no dat aint
me callin up tha blonde daugthers ob lawyers an doctors from my
ol unc daze. Peace out. Sheed
Weapon ob Mass
Distruction, SHEED STYLZ
Yo Yo Yo, So u tink Saddam gots
"weapons ob mass distruction"? Well tink again. Dis HARD ASS urban
youf droppeted his "weapon ob mass distruction" tha ober day.
Ingreedients. St Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas) 1
lb ob tripe 1 lb ob souse meat(hot) steamed collars and chitlins.
Now u sayin dat dems aint nuffin to git tha gut rockin an rollin?
Well da secret ingreedient be EPSOM SALT. Eat dat stuff aboves
an den knocks back a bottle ob EPSOM SALT an u'll git inspecteted
by tha UN(urban neigbhors). If it dont peel tha paint off da walls
it'll atleats git u on tha embrago list. Peace out. Sheed *The
Springs plant in Biscoe has closed. Yeah NAFTA.*
Yo Yo Yo, Well
fo one I knows u all wishes I wuz gonna be dera keepin DA KLASS
alive an well in chapel hell but alas tit aint so. I aint gonna
be in chapel hill cause: 1) I is banned from a 2 mile stench ob
15/501. Muthafuckin specifically one certain daycare down on dat
road. 2) DA SHEED will be in Atlanta lookin at photopeoples and
food makers. Tha hoochie has put DA FOOT down an DA SHEED will
be in Georgiass. 3) My unc buds just hads a baby(dey wont 2 mens
ok!!) an wont be at da game. Maybe I cood habes ben in dem "killer
rib cookoffs" dat 2fer wuz lyin bout. 4) unc is gonna tear dem
redneck tractor drivin crackers a new azz. Now why wood DA SHEED
wanna sit in Beautiful, seceren Kenan an watch a pack ob rednecks
cry? 5) Dey only sell clove cigerettes at tha Citgo in Carraboro
an stoppeted sellin St Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas).
I'll gibes a repot on da Georgia/Tenn game. Peace out. Sheed
Posted ByTWSORW'sH
on April 06, 2001 at 08:26:31:
Yo Yo Yo,
Since DA SHEED's new digs looks like
a sitcom set from tha early 70's I has dun seen a beutiful
woman on da tv. Kan u's believs how damn
HOT Mary Tyler Moore(said Mo down in Moore and
Montgomery Counties) wuz? Danzin in da screet and throwin her hat
in tha air, "ur gonna make
it abter all". I wisheted I wuz dat hat. Mary Mary u on my mind,
u is so hot I is fellin fine. Beerman
we'll be tippin a couple o 40's next week but I gots to go c a play
in R town dis weekend. I'll be
gittin in touch.
Friday Joke(new item): Why dont dey
have sguare dances in Harlem? Cause when dey yell "Hoe
down" eberyone runs to tha window
to see who shot der sister.
Diversity and tolerance fo all. Peace
out.
Sheed
Yo Yo Yo,
Well since we is dun gots into coberin
records an stats might ass bitch assin well go into Coach Smif
and tha family. Came to tha crib only 2 tmies but tha man kan
shit!! In doze 2 days Coach Smif laid 34 brown
trouts(one in tha broken shitter upstairs!) and
tha family only crappeted bout 12 times. What dey servein
down dera in Chapel Hill.
In addition he:
1) Smoketed all my blunts
2) Took all my Hustlers
3) Wroteeted "fart" in crayon
on tha wall ob tha kitchen
4) Broke my first "Girls Gone Wild
Video"
5) Causeted tha fan to burn out a motor
in tha bafroom
6) Stuck gum undera tha coffee(St Ideas
table-eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas).
7) Gaveted a speech on tha origins of
dingel berries and how dey might affect the export import
deal between Norf Yemen and Bahrin
8) Causeted Willie to git off da hunger
strike(FREE RAE CARRUTH!!!)
An many many ober tings. Still pissteed
bout gittin dissed in front ob Coach Smif by mom. Peace
out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White
Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 08, 2001 at 11:30:09:
Yo Yo Yo,
I is havin to do sum soul searchin ass
of late. Dis leads me to tha ORACLE OF BLACKANKLE NC.(DA SHEED is
lead to the Oracle by one of the Protectors of the Oracle--->Drunk
on a moped)(Sheed covers the hills of northern Montgomery County in
search of the questions that profound man. Over streams and fences
while being chased by wild dogs, Sheed looks for truth)
DA SHEED- Oh Oracle tail me what is
tha meanin of life?
Oracle- The meaning of life is neither
complex nor simple. It can be found in the most difficult issues as
well in those least confounding. The meaning of life is not before
you neither is it hidden. Can you loan me $20?
DA SHEED- How duz I know when I has
found tha meanin of life?
Oracle- When you are content my questioner.
DA SHEED- I is content when I gots a
ST IDEAS(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas) undera my arma.
Oracle- Being content has nothing to
do with hoochies, drinking St Ideas, rump shakkin, funk dunkin, beatin
up ex girlfriends or humpin blondes. Being at ease and feeling content
stems from nothing material or physical.
DA SHEED- WHAT???!!! Are you sayin I
should trade in my Lexus fo a Mercedes Sports carra?
Oracle- Yes
DA SHEED- Why do mens not clean tha
lint collector on a dryer whiles womens does?
Oracle- There are some things even the
ORACLE OF BLACKANKLE does not know.(Use the voice from the Wizard
of Oz on this one)
DA SHEED- Did Coach Smif really smoke
all my blunts back in 93 on dat recrutin trip? Did he float the trout?
Oracle- Yes it is apparent that Coach
Smith did smoke all of your blunts. I am not sure about the trout
in the shitter.
DA SHEED- How do you says "I lobes
you"?
Oracle- Send them FTD
DA SHEED- STD?
Oracle- Yes, that can suffice as well
as a means of saying "I love you".
(The Proctector of the Oracle is drunk and asleep)
DA SHEED- Has da Oracle of Blackankle
eber hooked wif sum fine hoochies?
Oracle- The ORACLE OF BLACKANKLE is
beyond such things. I am not physical and my origins are divine.
DA SHEED- DEVINE BROWN? I know dat bitch.
Oracle- Ask yourself what is it that
you seek then seek not what you want. Look forward because your happiness
is not in the past. The past has no chance of become nothing but the
past. Look past your desires and needs and put forth all effort to
happiness. FAME AND GLORY ARE ALWAYS FLEETING!!
DA SHEED- Do dey sell sell hoop cheese
round hear?
ORACLE- ENOUGH OF THESE QUESTIONS. YOU
HAVE WHAT YOU HAVE SOUGHT FROM ME. BE GONE!!
(With the Proctector asleep Sheed takes
a piss into the Oracle)
Beware of the ST IDEAS OF MARCH.
Peace out.
Sheed
*The ingredients of good tater dumplings
can be found in the most recent issue of Southern Cooking*
Posted ByThat
White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 09, 2001 at 08:16:30:
Yo Yo Yo,
Eben us HARD ASS THUG LIFE STARRAS gots
to eat. Tha road is laceted wif lot o places dat aint worf a shit.
Hardees tops tha muthafuckin list. Here's my list ob worst Hardees
in Norf Carolina. Enjoy my bitchs.
Worst Hardee's in Norf Carolina(no certian
order)
5) Hardee's in Troy(closed)- Dis damn
place could have screweted up an order of ice water to go. Tha mercy
ob God closeted dis place bout 2 years ago. Good fo pissin round back.
4)Any Hardee's in Charlotte- What kan
I says? Uncarin service, bad food and the possibility ob bein shot
down in cold blood. It is fun ass hell roundin up ol paper cups an
stompin dem in tha parkin lot to see who can make the loudest pop.
3) Hardee's in Manteo(closed)- HARD
ASS URBAN THUG LIFE does lobe to deep sea fish. A good number of wrong
orders found their way into my Lexus. Shelia makes terrible biscuits,
the gravy wuz damn watery.
2) Hardee's on High Point Road, Greensboro(dont
ax which one)- I eben helpeted to cook that food and rang myself out.
Pure hell.
1) Hardee's in Wingate Norf Carolina-
Wuz dat roast beef I had o did dey git warf rat mixeted in wif da
stuff? Muthafuckin yuck! DO NOT GO INTO THA BAFROOM!!
WORST HARDEES IN THA STATE:BISCOE- Yes
might be da worst. If u is waitin fo an order u might do well to run
ur hard ass down to tha Food Lion, buy a grill and sum meat and cook
tha shit urself. Multiple Edwardos might ax u to chunk on a piece
ob goat meat o two but dey are ok little fuckers. DO NOT ORDER THE
JALIPNO DEEPETED CHERRY CHEESE CAKE!!
KLASS acts has gots to eat. Watch out.
Peace out.
Sheed
*The Hardee's in Muffersboro and Nashville
NC are both excellent. I suggest you skip Biscoe and travel the extra
200 miles if you want fast service*
Posted ByThat
White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 13, 2001 at 13:25:53:
Yo Yo Yo,
When I aint crankin out technicals and
funk dunks I is writin poetry. From tha hard streets of Philly to
tha halloweted halls of chapel hill its RHYMES AND VERSUS DAY cumin
at u.
Lard Biscuit Blues
Lookin fo tha move to win,
Hookin wif tha ladies like George Shinn.
Rollin down tha road wif no cares,
DA LADIES sees me nakkied an just stares.
Teachin my homies what tits all bout,
Showin tha boyz at Structure I gots sum clout.
Hangin out o workin hard,
This HARD ASS NBA STARRA be lovin my lard.
Who Dat?
Call me Sheed dats my name,
yum ya yum yum ya
Where dat bitchass's knockin my fame?
yum ya yum yum ya
Scoopin tha dollars off tha table,
yum ya yum yum ya
My afaletics makes me tha pride of tha stable.
yum ya yum yum ya
Takin it to tha max when I'm in town,
yum ya yum yum ya
Coach Smif's trout wuz certianly brown.
YUM YA YUM YUM YA
Webmaster Mix
Slick ass cracker livin off tha heels,
Rollin out dis websight wuz a hard ass deal.
Got dem buddies livin far an wide,
If I catch his ass I gonna skin his hide.
Now listen up, this is tha thunder god,
I is gonna lay one on dat Laker squad,
Rollin to tha ring and dera aint no doubt,
Whippin sum Western Conference ass what tits all about.
Brain Buttsticker Blues(part II)
Brain Brain I kant see,
Why u is catchin pine right befo me.
U is a prick an u got no klass,
All dem crackers at Duke sayz u lick mens ass.
Is dat true?
I dont tink so.
I miss u dunkin on State grabbin ur nuts like a mofo.
U is tha man, u is a starra.
Wif dat homo haircut u'll go farra.
So catch tha pine an hang wif Coach Matt,
Ur so cool I eben tinks u is phat.
Better dan befo. Rhymes and Versus is
a favorites day ob mine. Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White
Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on March 02, 2001 at 10:51:41:
Yo Yo Yo,
Enjoy my bitches.
DA SHEED'S ALL ACC TEAM
1st team
Jason Williams, Shane Battier(prick), Joe Forte, Alvin Jones(long
way from nothin), Donald Hand
2nd team
Juan Dixon, Chris Williams, That good player from FSU, Lonnie Baxter,
Josh Howard(passion
and tough)
Rookie of the Year- No idea, not to be confused with St Ideas(eberyting
is MO BETTER wif St
Ideas)
Player of the Year- ANYONE but Battier(prick)---> probably Forte or
Jason Williams
Coach of the Year- Hewitt(dis guy did good wif nuffin, listen closely
Sendek supporters)
Biggest dumbass of tha year- Brenden Haywood(from his general sloped
head to his narrow
talents this guy could be one of the WORST players in the history
of the conference. I often times
recall unc fans calling him "baby Shack" to which I retorted "baby
Shit")
Ugliest player of the year- WE HAVE A TIE. Shane Battier and his head,
Kris Lang(Kris ah la
Kris Kross<----backward pants wearing thugs from the early 90's)
Tha Capel kid is pretty damn
ugly two.
Coach that is the biggest prick- Coach K(wins this one going away,
say "fuck" one more time
Coach den tail us bout sportsmanship)NOTE: COACH K ALSO WINS THE COVETED
"MOST LIKELY TO TAKE BITCHING ASS DEAN SMITH'S PLACE" AWARD. The guy
has NO KLASS.
Coach most likely to be an accountant-TIE. Herb Sendek and Dave Odom(Damn,
can you
imagine the EXCITING conversations those guys have?)
Coach most often to carry a small flask of likker on him to the game-
Gary Williams("You can
think all you want, I think I'll have another drink")
Most likely to be a Puerto Rican terrorist- That Menedez freak from
unc(Close in the ugliest
muthafucker contest)
Greatest waste of talent- entire NCSU team(due to the math freak dat
is tha coach)
Player most likely to float a brown trout in the oppents locker room-
Juilus Peppers(nice teef)
Player most likely to be confused for a brown trout- Brenden Haywood
Player wif tha least afeltic ability- Haywood(again!!)
Player dat is often confused wif the 70's/80's porn legeand- John
Holmes(unc- yes they have a
player dat is named John Holmes and he is one of dose bench losers
dat jump an yell)
Player eberyone looks up to- DA SHEED
What's ur list? Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat
White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 20, 2001 at 11:00:31:
Yo Yo Yo,
Dis HARD ASS NBA STARRA wuz on a trip down east tha ober day when
I droppeeted(no
trout droppin hear)in at a bar in Raleigh. Mo crackers at dat bar
dan at tha Kebbler factory. Limp
wristed frats boyz needin hair cuts wuz eberywhere two, dey ladies
is sexual unfulliffied(DA
SHEED really thought he was in an Abercombie and Fitch ad, made him
mo sick than the 96
Chtilin Festival in Anderson SC).
I axed fo a ST IDEAS(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas) when dis
guy says, "Is you That
White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head?" I said "Muthafuckin hell yeah,
dats me". No St
Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas) but tits good to see dat
DA SHEED has gots fans
on bof sides of da feces. KEEP IT REAL!
Next time a HARD ASS NBA THUG LIFE CAROLINA KLASS SKY WALKIN LEXUS
DRIVIN LARD COOKIN BAR HOPPIN TATER CHUNCKIN LIP BUSTIN BITCH
SLAPPIN GOLD WEARIN PRACHUET PANTS WEARIN STARRA is in ur hood I'll
be
buyin u a cold ass St Ideas(eberting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas) an
we'll head downtown to
hook wif sum women. Da bigger da butt da better.
Tailblazers blazzen on! Peace out.
Sheed
*The capital of Peru is Lima*
Posted
ByTha tWhite Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 21, 2001 at
08:26:11:
Yo Yo Yo,
For time to muthafuckin time DA SHEED has gots to cum down from his
mountain high(did
sumone say high?)an deals out truf and justits to his people, my fans(lobes
u all). Tha quextion
brought up by Pookie wuz dealin wif chitlins and dat sayin chitlins
wuz racist. Let's cover dis in
short muthafuckin order.
The statement delt wif tha number of fraternbity bozy at East Village.
Da statement wuz sometin
like "There was so much Abercrombie and Fitch that I wuz as sick as
the 96 chitlin festival in
Anderson SC". DA SHEED wuz sick as a mofo at tha chitlin festival,
thus frat boyz wearin
Abercrombie and Fitch makes DA SHEED recall dat sickness. Did I muthafuckin
mention dat tha
frat boyz all looketed likes soccer flits?
WHAT BOUT DAT IS RACIST? In what manner has DA SHEED(master of hard
ass urban
thug life) insulted tha always offendeted groups(jews, blacks, THE
handicapped, Amway
salesmen, lesbian feminist Marxists writers based in Central America,
mud sharks, Stoics, ditch
diggers, soap squirters, liver mush eaters, men named Vlad, women
named Shirley, the population
of Kalifornia, ferret owners, Ted Smith- half owner of Ted Smith's
Muffler Emporium in Lebannon
Pa, Edwardo/Raoul/Enquire/Maria/Consuelo/Luis/Manuel/Anna/
Alferdo/Henritta/and TERRY, coffee drinkers, bank tellers, Chad the
Rat, and
ANYMUTHAFUCKINBODY ELSE DAT HAS SELF ESTEEM PROBLEMS?<------All
from the shitty teachings of that protestant to catholic back to protestant
master of emotion himself
Rosseau. Rosseau is in DA SHEED'S opinion the fater ob tha American
Left, total distaste for
logic and reason while embracing mobcracy and emotion(feelings).))
GOD BLESS CICERO!!!
Pookie WUZ U AT THA 96 CHITLIN FESTIVAL IN ANDERSON SC? Fine ass hoochies
and rotten ass chitlins. Since no mention ob RACE wuz stated how duz
u point tha racial speech
police finger at DA SHEED? How kan a hawg gut be racist?
Chitlin Song fo Pookie
"I wonders an I wonders but I kant see,
How dem chitlins is bein racist to me.
Dey tastes good an dey tastes fine,
Best part ob chitlins is up from tha beeehind.
Ladies eates dem, hard asses too,
Chitlins aint racist Pookie, u muthafucker u"
So dera u has tit. How kan chitlins be racist? Dey kant. Burden of
proof is on the ACCUSER
NOT THE ACCUSED!!!! DA SHEED simply brings u DIVERSITY, TOLERANCE
AND
THA FUNK DUNK. Lobes u all. Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White
Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 22, 2001 at 08:42:01:
Yo Yo Yo,
Da dey ob fame an fortune is back!!! Its da day dat we celebite dose
unc greats dat wuz once
butt aint no mo. Todaies we is gonna has a look at one ob DA SHEED'S
favorites. Todaies we is
lookin at Ryan Sullivan. Enjoy my bitches.
Street smart, slick and skilled are none of tha muthafuckin terms
dat should be useted to describ
Ryan. Word has tit dat he wuz constantly poppin zits in tha 3rd flo
bafroom in high scool an he
enjoyed takin a dump wif tha bafroom do open so obers could see. Abter
a superflumderous high
scool carrera Ryan wuz whisked off to chapel hill to tha machine know
as tha tar heels.
Ryan Sullivan Stats (94-95)
Points per game- 0.2
Rebounds per game- 3(his whole carrera, dis counts practices ass well)
ASSists per game- 0(but he did git one hell'va woorkout jumpin up
an down at tha end of tha
bench)
Lbs of dope he hid in his baggy shorts- 23lbs(1 year aberage)
Length of tha trout he dropeted an did not flush in Coach Smif's office-
12
inches(DAMN!)---->Word has tit dat Coach Smif had Coach Ford gits
a long neck Budwiser an
break tha trout up fo it wood flush.
Ryan wuz an absolute gem at unc. He brought us laughters, he broughts
us saddness and he
brought us Bob Marley in tar heel hoops. Who could eber foget all
dose jumps an twists dat he
wood do at tha end of tha bench when Carter wood does a dunk? Always
wondereted how dat
white boy could jump so HIGH. His posture shitting on tha bench wuz
one ob magnificent glory
while he watcxhed tha heels roll ober oppent abter oppenent. Ryan
often did not bitch bout his
playin time, he seemeted distant an abobe tha crowd(wonder muthafuckin
why, right).
Where he be now? Ryan is currently liven in Hackensack New Jerisy.
He has grown his hair out
an wants to be tha next Jon Bon Jovi(who knew?). Tight pants an long
hair fo dat cracker, all
Ryan dreams about is tha return ob tha Camero wif a spolier and chics
wif bigger hair dan his.
Ryan supports hisself fru travellin round da country an sellin fake
dog shit. On bein interviewed
Ryan said dis, "I miss unc. I really messed up down there, I could
have really made an impact on
the court. Instead I chose the hot chics with bad habits in university
towers." At this point Ryan
axed to do a song fo tha interviewer, we relented.
Ryan Sullivan as Jon Bon Jovi(song-Love is a Wild Thang)
Love is the thing Tina and I know,
Love is the one thing you dont want to blow.
Tina and me gonna fight forever,
Love is for us its now or never.
I love Tina and Tina loves me,
We gonna ride this Camero from sea to sea.
Holdin hands an cruisin along,
This love we got sure is strong.
(standard number of guitar licks from Ryan's strange friend Joey)
Down by the ocean in our old age,
Me and Tina are still the rage.
Passin the years an our children by,
This is my song so I'll say goodbye.
(Interviewer could handle no mo, stoppeted tha interview)*WHY IN THE
HELL DOES JON
BON JOVI ALWAYS TALK ABOUT A GIRL NAMED TINA? I MEAN IS IT JUST ME
OR DOES HE REALLY SAY THE NAME TINA IN EVERY DAMN SONG HE SINGS? IS
EVERY FRIGGIN WOMAN FROM jersey NAMED TINA?*
DA SHEED dont knows bout dat shit? Cracker dun blowed up on sometin,
wonder what? I
recalls dem little crackers runnin round Philly tinkin dey wuz Jon
Bon Jovi when I wuz a little
mamma jamma, good luck bitch. Dey wuz hell to play pick up games wif,
all dat hair spray wood
make a hard ass urban thug life youth sick and da height ob tha hair
wuz hard to deal wif. Most of
dem dribbeled like girls in middle scool.
Well dera u has tit, unc greats makin dey way in tha world one day
at a time. Good luck Jon.
Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White
Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 05, 2001 at 06:59:11:
Yo Yo Yo,
Klass acts kant always be lettin tit hang out. DA SHEED wuz in Raligh
tha other knight to c Les
Miesrables(The miserable muthafuckers) when I had to git sum mad eats.
Stoppeted in at Vin off ob Glenwood. Never take big butteted chics
wif nice teef to dis place, oily
tha best will do hear. DA SHEED wuz quiet impressed. Hears tha meal:
1) 2 swank ass hoochies at tha bar drinkin wine(Hello Mary and Beth,
see you soon)
2) Muthadustin cook sents out sum squid. Not ass good ass chitlins
butt tits alright.
3) Couple on glasses ob "Dessus la carriera". Not bad but dont holds
not a muthafuckin candle to
ripple.
4) Red snapper ober crapes an sum green stuff. Not ass good as shad
but hell, DA SHEED wuz
ROLLIN!!!
5) Sinces it black history month I hads chocolate cake fo desert.
Only black thang I eber ateted.
All in all a fine ass ebenin. So u dun turd it from DA SHEED. Carolina
KLASS kan be found at Vin
off Glenwood. Note: There wuz a bum pissin ober near tha railroad
tracks. If u c him, throw him a
twenty an say "Teddy says buy gray Ford Pintos".
How y'all like dat ball game tha other knight, KLASS huh? Peace out.
Posted ByThat
White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 06, 2001 at 10:19:17:
Yo Yo Yo,
Foxman u kant tail des muthafcukers nuffin. Dey dont understand KLASS
likes we do duz dey?
KLASS cums in many foams butt we sees tit in LT, Makthar, Rice, Fox,
McNnis(gold toof), Adolf
Oklaja(seig heil muthafucker!!), Snot Williams, JR Reid(Jamal Ratass),
Borders(speakin ob borders,
mo ob dat fine weed pleze), Peppers(lobe tha bitch slap at tha all
knight bbq palace), Buttsticker,
John Holmes, Bucknall, an many many ober bad ass muthaduxters. carolina
nukmber 1!!!! Kant
stand tha KLASS git out ob tha Knapp Buildin fo gverment. Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat
White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 07, 2001 at 07:33:57:
Yo Yo Yo,
A hard ass starra likes me has gots dem world travels to duz but I
still like to rock it wif tha home
boyz bck in Montgomery County. Word has it dat der will be a new soccer
complex outside ob
Biscoe.
Yep, 4 fields, hundreds of short/fat/ tanned/ luscious latin ladies
will be roottin on such teams as The
Sanford Las Marnias, the Siler City Gross Balncos, The Candor Puntos,
and the Asheboro
Whevous. If yo family is tried of HARD ASS HUG LIFE NBA FUN den brings
dem down to tha
firSt paved road on tha left when u enter Montgomery County from Moore
County on Hwy 24/27.
Where else kan u see carolina KLASS in a 4 foot tall jug of soccer
dynimate? Gots it on tha
upswing dat goat meat will be the dish ob tha day an NO PORTA POTTIES
will be around(Come
one, come all. See Henrnado Rameirz shit in tha woods!!)
Family fun from my hard ass thug life family to urs. Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White
Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head(Rasheed Assan Ela Abhed) on February
12, 2001 at 08:26:05:
Yo Yo Yo,
Doth tha man dun muthafuckin said dat DA SHEED will be havin a new
name to celebrate carolina
KLASS and stayin REEL to keep tha man off my ass. Roll heels roll.
Tha muthafuckin wiener is...........(machine gun roll pleaze)..................BEERMAN!!!!!
The winning
entry wuz RASHEED ASSAN ELA ABHED= Rasheed, the best ever. (Already
newe dat
shit).Always liketed tha hard ass Beerman an his muthafuckin humor.
Beerman wins tha free meal at
Second Empire in downtown Raleigh wif DA SHEED. U is welcome to bring
ur main hoochie, DA
SHEED gots mad cash an I is lookin to entertain. Beerman I'll be in
muthafuckin contact bout times
and so fourth. Love des contestes.
Looks like Matt Daughterty has gots tha heels rollin, I gots one complmant.
Wheres tha nut grabbin,
sky walkin, muiddle finger shootin, throat cuttin, student punchin,
co ed rappin carolina KLASS dat
Caoch Smif and Coach Gut brought fo us? Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat
White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 06, 2001 at 15:44:25:
Yo Yo Yo,
As anober means ob figthen tha man I is thinkin bout changin my name
to sometin Islamic. In my
neber endin pursuit of DIVERSITY and TOLERANCE DA SHEED is gonna change
my name on
dis broad.
(Only Islamic names will be accepteted)
I'll be takin a couple of suggestions per day an tha beast suggestion
will git to have dinner wif DA
SHEED an one ob my hoochies(this is a real contest, DA SHEED will
buy dinner for you at Second
Empire in downtown Raleigh). Muhamad La Sheed, Cream de la Allah Ruothy
Sheed etc etc and u
kan be in line to meet DA SHEED an has a kick ass dinner ob tha finest
chitlins, hawg maow, turnip
greens and of course a couple ob rounds ob ST IDEAS(Eberyting is MO
BETTER wif St Ideas).
Peace out.
Sheed
*Rutherford County citizens are not open to this contest*
Posted ByThat White
Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on February 14, 2001 at 11:52:57:
Yo Yo Yo,
Still woorked up abter seein the E True Hollywood Story bout Carmen
Elecktra. Talk bout a rump
shakker, an she be liken tha brothas two!!!
Couple ob short(nuffin short bout DA SHEED, special wink to Johnston
County)poems fo tha fans
on dis day of lobe and dinkin.
Lobe call
Run tha flo, screw tha ho
Catch sum muthafucker at tha back doe.
Dis damn day aint worf a shit,
Halmark is full of crackers and nitwits.
Send dem cards, send dem flowers,
Send sum condoms to tha bitches woorkin abter hours.
A day fo tears and a day fo lobe,
DA SHEED brings u peace likes a dove.
Cupid is a cracker
Fat white boy wif a arrow,
Sorri ass muthabitches ass is narrow.
Got no game but he sura kan fly,
Probably ever seen him axes why.
Shootin arrows aint worf a damn,
Sorri ass cracker is proably in tha klan.
Tha best from me two u. When u oly cares to send tha worst. Peace
out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat
White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on January 11, 2001 at 16:08:20:
Yo Yo Yo,
Ounce an fo all. Dis is tha storie. I wuz NOT beatin tha hell outta
my ho(mofera ob my child, we
wont married) out on Franklin Screet. I knows seberal peoples wuz
pisseted bout traffic bein
backupeted butt I gave dem sometin to chew on(Gave them the finger,
word is DA SHEED
grabbed his nuts at several folks honking the horn, KLASSY). I wuz
helpin her to understand dat
when u is talkin to, bout o fo DA SHEED u talks wif RESPECTS cause
I is special.
I wood go ass far to say dat I neber whacked her tat all. She wuz
mofin off to a carolina STARRA,
nobdoies talks back to a carolina STARRA(Thats right, ask King Rice's
girlfriend after she got the
hell knocked out of her when she mouthed off, KLASS) So KLASS you
says? Gots dat KLASS,
GOT MY MEDICAL SCOOL ACEPPTANTCE, GOT THA FUNK DUNK, GOT THA St
Ideas(Eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas): NUFF SAID.
Line up dat duke/unc game. I'll eben bring up a few Edwardos fo tha
game. KLASS IS AS KLASS
DUZ. Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White
Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on January 15, 2001 at 08:02:54:
FREE SPEECH, LET IT RING LOUD AND FOREVER IN THIS REPUBLIC!!!!!!
Yo Yo Yo,
I gots a dream. Dat one day HARD NBA THUG LIFE wil lbe accepeted fo
mo dan just our
basketball skills butt fo our acute business acumen. We is gonna has
to step up an take our place at
da table fo we gits anyting dun.
I gots a dream dat one day unc KLASS ACTS wil lbe alooweted into medical
scool based on mo
dan just some idea o theory of educational merit, dat carolina KLASS
will be alloweted into medical
scool so dat da "playin field " can be leveled.(Yes, level that playinf
field. There arent nearly enough
fat short jewish men in the NBA, OUTRAGE I SAY).
I gots a dream dat one day NBA THUG LIFE will be locked on fo mo dan
just ass skills and
KLASS o our sexual proxass but fo what really counts, MONEY. Money
= hoochies an now dat I
is thinkin ob hoochies I gots to cream. Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White
Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on January 18, 2001 at 12:48:05:
Yo Yo Yo,
Da interivews cointues.
Sheed: Yo Buck. Da word on da screet is dat u new sum reasons dat
Hillary frew dat lamp at Bill in
da White House?
Buckley: Reasons have it that Hillary Rodham tossed a lamp at Bill
when he asked her a question
concerning her antidisestablishmentarian methods which lead to the
failure of the health care plan.
Sheed: So she wuz pisseted?
Buckley: She was angry.
Sheed: If u wuz a bird what kinda bird wood u be?
Buckley: An owl.
Sheed: Why is dat? Cause da owl is wise?
Buckley: NO, HEAVENS NO. Because the owl has the largest penis of
any bird. Oh Sheed how
you have worn on me.(Sick chuckle that Buckley makes, you think he
is full of phlem)
Sheed: Coupleb ob questions mo den we end dis an play a pick up game
u cracker. Hopw douz u
see tha future fo a hard ASS NBA STARRRA like myself?
Buckley:Hummmm.......Well I must say that the large amounts of money
that the league currently
brings in and the profit sharing is a clear indicator that the owners
are well read in Adam Smith's
"Wealth of Nations". You should can the microwaveable chitlins line
of food products and stick to
dunking.
Sheed: One last quextion. If Willie craps in behind tha cornera sto
and a mexican craps behind tha
cornera sto wood you favor a civil rights law that wood enshire the
right ob EVERY HARD ASS
AMERICAN to shit behind the cornera sto?
Buckley: I can not say for sure because I can not see for the life
of me any idea of "craping behind
the corner sto" as being a natural right of man. Clearly Willie and
the mexican have the right to crap
but craping on or behind the corner store is a violation of private
property rights(Sheed raises eye
brow). Now defication on or behind the corner store is fine and just
so long as the crapper or the
crapping has obtained the proper consent of thecrappedon or whose
property is being crapped on.
In short you just can not crap where one feels like crapping. Such
a "general will" is a sign of
Rosseauian emotion that leads one to crap where and when crapping
might not be necessary. Of
course as they say at Yale, "When you have to shit you have to shit"
Thus the interviews concludes with Sheed carrying Buckley out on his
shoulders to have a chicken
fight with Coach Smith and Curtis Hunter.
Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White
Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on January 24, 2001 at 06:59:04:
Yo Yo Yo,
Until THA MAN lets Rae go I is gonna have WILLIE go on a hunger strike.
What Willie Wont Bee Eatin
1)Cheeze Whiz
2)St Ideas(Eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas)
3)Turnip greens
4)Tripe
5)Hawg maow
6)CHITLINS(Say it aint so Joe)
7)The Moore County Phone Directory
8)Rasinettes
9)butter
10)El gurious las putosel con ferdas de Edwardo(The fine things that
are made by the unknown
hands of Edward)
Willie aint gonna(tan wont be able two) have to shit no mo behind
tha corner sto, he is puttin it on
tha line fo RAE. FEE RAE NOW, FEE RAE NOW, MATHA RAE NOW, FEE RAE
NOW!!
Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White
Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on January 03, 2001 at 09:56:35:
Yo Yo Yo,
Dis dey is fo dem tar heels dat wuz once butt aint no mo. Dis is former
unc greats dey, we is
gonna be lookin at da bang up carrera ob tha Finnish Knotmare Timo
Makkanoen.
Timo Makkanoen(81-84)
Points per game- 0.23(fo year aberage)
Rebounds per game- 0.34(fo year aberage)
ASSists per game- None, cousin Svne couldnts get that info
Depth of the impression Timo's ass made on the chairs while sitting
tha bench- 4.2 inches(fo year
aberage)
Number ob Camera angles dat caught Timo's nuts hangin out on tv- Willie
says 5, I say 4, the
Mexicans down here say 345
Depth of plaque on Timo's teef- 1.2 inches(berry berry sexy in Nordic
land)
How Coach Smif found dis cracker I'll neber know. Some say he wuz
tha heir to sum damn
Nordic god's atheltic ability. I say BULLSHULTZ. Timo wuz actually
a great industrial scool star
in tha Finnish leagues, dominted tha Elk League(42 points per game,
aberage). Upon claimin tha
coverted Finnish Elk League title Timo wuz swept up by tha talent
vacum himself Coach
Smif.(Somewhere on tha damn tundra lies a brown trout that Coach Smif
no doubt left on his
recruitin trip. My reporters are now on the trail ob that trout, REPORT
SOON!!!!) TROUT ON
THA TUNDRA!!!(Sounds like a dish at the Irregardless Cafe)
Timo wuz a crowd favorite at unc. Upon tha tar heels poundin tha hell
out of someone tha fans
would yell, "TIMO, TIMO, TIMO, TIMO". At dat monment Timo wood bust
onto tha court an
committ bout 4 or 5 fouls, miss 3 layups and cause havcko in general.
His defense wuz nuffin like
tha Mannherim Line(Defense line built in 1937-38 to fend off the large
scale Soviet attacks upon
Finland during the Russo-Finnish wars from 38-40). In short, Timo
wont worf a shit.
Where he be now? My reporteras found Timo collecting needle nose plyers
and still trying to
master Missile Command for the Atari game system(Timo checkout Ken
Uston's Home Video
83- The 20 Best NEW Games and How to Beat Them PLUS 5 GREAT CLASSICS-
Your one
guide to the newest of the Home Video Games, The Latest Techincal
breakthroughs and
challenges). Timo libes in various places and he is still trying to
market Viking Food on a fast food
scale(rack of lamb to go please). Timo had dis to say to my reoprts.
"I couldnts do wha Coach
Smith had intended for me to do. I loved unc and all the fine learning
I obtained there. I miss the
fans. I miss the university. I miss the town. HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU
GET PAST LEVEL
8???" When my reporters axed Timo bout his name he had dis two say,
"Timo stands for
"Glorious Volk" and Makkanoen stands for "Rubber filled vile composed
of wretched sheep
intestine baked to a fine brown crust"" All hail Finland muthafucker.
Well dats where dey be, makin dera way in tha world today. U axed
fo tit, you got it-Golorious
Volk Rubber filled vile composed of wretched sheep intestine baked
to a fine brown crust. Peace
out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White
Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on December 12, 2000 at 18:24:09:
Yo Yo Yo,
Been busy. Mo song(an slong fo tha LADIES, no mo visits down Hwy 70)
fo u.
12 Edwardos pimpin,
11 Chitlins STEAMIN,
10 tatoos runnin,
9 ho's a humin,
8 stippers beggin,
7 trouts a floatin,
6 co'eds wooin,
5 muthafuckers booin,
4 bitches humpin,
3 Lexus' thunppin,
2 Homeboy's rappin,
AND
1 CASE OF ST IDEAS(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas) in tha hood
fo me.
Watch out fo tha fat ass white man in red breakin in ur house. Word
from up on high to dose below.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White
Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on December 01, 2000 at 08:51:11:
Yo Yo Yo,
24 mo shoppin daze til it is time fo sum white man in red(FUCK THA
PACK!!)to slip his fat ass
into tha hood wif presents and bottles ob wine. I just wanteted two
lay out dis list fo tha fans(I lobes
u all) of DA SHEED. I WANTS MUTHAFUCKIN PRESESNTS!!
Sheed Kristmas Wish List(WORD UP COTTON TEAM)
1)The Operation Game by Hemco(you all recall this game, body with
a red nose and you had to
pick out bones and stuff without setting off the buzzer)
2)The Greatest Hits of El Debarge(Oh Oh Oh oh Shelia!!!)
3)Tickets to the 9th Annual Sardine Festival in betiful Aberdeen Norf
Carolina
4)A poster of Barry Manilow
5)Anober tattoo of Julila Child grating cheese
6)Tha crowd at The Top of The Hill in Chapel Hill to put my face on
tha roof(gold toof showin)
7)Want Pat Sullivan's brofer to hook me up wif his supplier of blunts(Yo
Ryan, I gots dis need fo
sum blunts eber since Coach Smif broke into my stash)
8) I want sum ob doze doctors ober at unc to git Julius Peppers hooketed
up wif sum braces(damn
look at doze teef, I bet dat guy can munch sum apples. Gots horse
teef)
9)D Rock down in Alexandria La a hummer. No not a hummer likes chics
wif nice smiles gibes but
a Hummer, military hummer. Gravy train dun fucketed up D Rock. See
u in a few weeks.
10)All tha ladies dat comes to dis website to place letters of lobe
and best wishes to tha only
HARD ASS THUG LIFE MALE dat puts up posts(We'll call them Sheed's
Letters of Lust and
Love) . Dats me, DA SHEED.
Better git my presents O tha aint gonna be no happymuthafuckinholidaies.
Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat
White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 28, 2000 at 13:51:48:
In Reply to: Beamer, Beamer, where art thou Beamer? posted byPaul
on November 28, 2000 at
13:10:23:
:Yo Yo Yo,
A tasty dish you say,
I neber ateted dem when I wuz away.
Doze hawgs grows good an dey grows strong,
Dey gots cork screw pricks fo slongs.
I saweted dis European flim one time,
Girls wif hawgs doin just fine.
Dey said it wuz made in France or someplace,
I coulda sworn it wuz souf of Carroboro down at Dean's place.
So eat doze feet an watch dem movies,
Hangin in da Hill is kinda groovies.
Whose gonna coach my heels to anober banner year,
Probably sum shit ass white boy dats half queer.
Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat
White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 28, 2000 at 10:06:31:
In Reply to: Funny how attendence discussions of football went quiet....
posted bySub-Woofers on
November 28, 2000 at 09:18:47:
:Yo Yo Yo,
Somemuthafuckinbody said sometin bout graduation. I hads to chim in
on dat shit. I gots a couple of
rexuests;
1) I shoold be accetpeted to unc medical scool.
2) I shoold be giben my degree cause of da monies I bought into tha
university.
3) My quote, "Coach said it was a big TRANSACTION between high school
and college but I
made dat two." Mo womens, mo food. mo wine, mo chitlins, mo crumpets.(ACTUAL
QUOTE)
Garduation I says, cap and muthafuckin gown!! Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat
White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 28, 2000 at 08:35:55:
Yo Yo Yo,
Dis day is fo dem unc starras dat wuz once butt aint no mo. Todaies
is formera unc greats day. We
is gonna gander ats day feebeled carrera ob Jim Braddock(Thats Jimmy
to Woody Durham)
The feather haired cracker from Bendskank Virginia wuz a high scoll
legand in Western Va. Dis
wuz fo Oak High and all dat shit. Jim held high scool and conference
scoring records(DA SHEED
gots a few scoring records two!!). His secret wuz to turn the heat
up in the visiting teams locker
room before they showed up. Jim wood then take a large dump thus stinking
up da entire locker
room an causin vapor lock int tha oppents sinus passages. Abter Coach
Smif heard dat he new Jim
wuz destinted fo unc fame.
Jim Braddock(unc 1980-1983)Stats
Points per game(3 year aberage)- 9.3
Rebounds per game(3 year aberage)- 2.1
Amount of VO 5 hair spary useted fo da game on dat head- 45.3 ounces(dis
wuz abter
flurocarbons wuz removeted)
Height ob socks on leg(3 year aberage)- 12 inches(like DA SHEED)(TUBE
SOCKS IS DA
BOMB)
Abter takin his stinkin ass to unc an thus causin untold damage to
the noses of hundreds of NCAA
basketball players Jim moveted into business. Jim wuz part of tha
1982 UNC NATIONAL
CHAMPIONS(word has tit dat Jim wuz not sceen in any pictures caus
he wuz countin dingel
berries on his teammates). Jim wuz not hard to find, he currently
runs(pun intended) a spetic service
out Elkin Norf Carolina. When axed but his unc experiment Jim had
dis to say, "I knew and Coach
Smith knew that if our two asses came together then someone would
be hurting. I cant say enough
about those days siting besides Coach Smith in a stall at Carmicheal
and takin a large relaxing
dump. We won a national title, we won a large percentage of our games
and we caused a 4 fold
incease in the capacity of the Chapel Hill/ Carrboro waste water treatment
plant during my time at
unc. We bonded." Now dats KLASS and SUCESSES if u is axin DA SHEED.
Eberyday and in eberyway unc alumni is makin tha difference in a town
near u. Makin a diffrences
an makin dera way in tha world. Tailblazers number 1! Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White
Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 27, 2000 at 07:37:29:
Yo Yo Yo,
Yep, many many muthafuckin years ago dis HARD ASS STARRA wuz born.
Todies is my birfday.
Lets all singamuthafuckinlong.
"Tappy birfday two Sheed"
"Tappy birfday two Sheed"
"I gots unc klass fo da ladies and my loins is in need"
Tank u berry much. I miss my fans, dis is what I want from u fo my
birfday.
Sheed Birfday Requesteted
1) Picture ob Flip Wilson nakked
2) Roll ob nickles
3) New and Updated Moore County Phone directory
4) Onions dippeted in canry sauce
5) Fully cleaned, soaked and de corned chitlins
6) Best ob DeBarge CD
7) New rims fo DA LEXUS wif tha best of Bach on CD ass well
8) A full collection ob Benny Hill's greatest hits(This can be purchased
by sending $9.95 to some
damn wharehouse in Richmond Virginia)
9) While u be at it, I wants "Girls Gone Wild" video.
10) Yep u guesseted tit. 10 CASES OB ST IDEAS(Eberyting is MO BETTER
wif St Ideas)
Eberybody gots a birfday. Today unc KLASS and uprights attitudes wuz
born. Word from up on
high ttwo doze below. Brain Buttsticker looks cute in his picture.
Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White
Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 21, 2000 at 10:16:30:
Yo Yo Yo,
I know u tall ben waitin fo tha return of DA SHEED from tha norf.
I is back an man what a
muthafuckin trip. I gots a bit to go fru so hang wif me my little
bitches.
(First 3 days were a bit of Cultural Confusion)
Nov 13- I packeted tha muthafuckin Lexus wif guns, old hoochie numberas(Yep,
stoppeted in an
saw a few), map, St Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas), poletistis(what
dat?), an my
bitch magnet.
Headeted out an gots up dera at bout 5 turdy. Dey misseted me.
Nov 14- I always turd tit wuz lilly white up norf but DAMN!! Taint
sceen dat many white folks
since HARD ASS John Tesh came to Walnut Creek. Hooketed wif my old
home boyz and
checketed out tha LADIES. Mo Hoss' Hess', Horst's, Bunrgurgers, Fishers,
Guntrils, Holdenstris,
and Klines dan a Hitler Youth rally. (Special "Hello" to Shelia at
the Turkey Hill market off of 772)
Nov 15(1st Day of Confusion)- My main muthabitches told me were going
hang out sum. Dis is
what threw DA SHEED off. Muthafuckers said we wuz gonna go hang out
in Intercourse, I said
"HELL MUTHAFUCKIN YEAH- dis might be like sum of dem abter game parties".
We droveted
down tha road(lots of crackers eberywhere- sum were drivin carts and
sum were drivin cars.) ass I
gots woorketed up fo intercourse(isint dat a race game from Sega?).
Dey said, "Sheed this is
Intercourse, how do you like it?" I said two dem fuckers "Dis taint
no intercourse I recalls. Dey aint
no rump shakker ass's and dey aint no blondes wif lussiso lips". Tha
only thang in Intercourse dat
wuz like intercourse wuz something hangin from Horst Wessel's cart
pullin horse up front holdin up
tha Lexus.(AND NO ST IDEAS--->eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas).
I did se 2 goats
screwing(no mexicans round)
NO LOWRIDERS!!! Talk bout a place in kneed of culture.
Needless to say dis day endeted in sadness(no chitlins, no funk dunks,
nuffin). I did buys a nice loaf
of bread.
Nov 16(2nd Day of Confusion)- Abter a HARD ASS knight of no intercourse
my home byz said
sometin bout goin to Blue Ball. I GOTS DAT!! No mo Blue Ball fo me.
Dun had dat fo an we
HARD ASS NBA STARRAS taint useted to dat shit(Where's a strip club
when you need one?)
Me and tha boyz wuz gittin a little pissetd den dey said sometin bout
BirdinHand. I said "U throwin
me tha bird?" Muthafuckin fight ensued!! Abter a case o 4 of fine
ass sheep nuts we settled dow nfo
da rest of tha trip. Plenty of daze of hell rasinin, dunkin, roustin,
sky walkin, dung mostin, shit
spreadin, corn pickin, rock stackin, bird flappin HARD ASS THUG LIFE
in Lancaster County.
Nov 17-I saweted corn.
Summary
1) NO ST IDEAS(Eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas) in Lancaster County.
2) Buena Vista, VIRGINia has a hot blonde woorkin at tha Hardess off
of 501
3) Intercourse taint what I always thought it wuz. I neber knew intercourse
invloved bearded men
named Jacob riding in carts.
4) Blueball has nuffin to due wif intercourse. Bof blueball and intercourse
involveeted beard men wif
funny breads and names but dey taint related. Dey is no THUG LIFE
in intercourse and blueball but
THUG LIFE kan have intercourse and blueball. Duz dat make sense?
5)I befriended Malicke Stoneburger. He raises corn, runs a dairy and
cuts about 48 acres of silage.
He gots a HARD ASS TATTOO now, it says "MILK OR DEATH".
GLAD TO BE HOME!! Back in tha action. Sorry to see TorBUSH go. Tailblazers
numbera 1!
Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat
White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 13, 2000 at 20:41:57:
In Reply to: Sheed waers halves u bean? posted byHillbilly Jack on
November 13, 2000 at
19:18:58:
:Yo Yo Yo,
Hillbilly Jack u cracker!!! DA SHEED has ben given my knowledge two
all my fans(I lobes u all) an
cold chillin. Just been hangin out(its been hangin out two) and gittin
ready fo da season.
DA SHEED is gittin little tried of postin all da damn time. I tinks
I gots a cold PLUS I gots sum
travellin to do. Heres a muthafuckin list of tha places I be headin
and cold chillin ober tha next few
months.
Sheed's Travel Plans
1) Lancaster County, Pa--> Home ob mo crackers da tha Kebbler Factory.
Hell dey so few
brothers up hera tits bout like an episode of Andy Griffith
2) Alexandria, La--> DA SHEED main mamma jamma be down dera. Gots
to hang wif my main
homie. Gonna drink sum St Ideas(Eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas)
fuck wif da frenchys,
and teach D Rock bout how he screweted up his genetic gravy train.
3) Sacrameto, Ca--> Anbother one of my muthabitches be hangin in S
town. Gots to head out dera
an teach dat bitch a lesson on da court. Bitchslaps cumin down.
4) Richmond, Va--> Old hoochie up dera calleted me tha ober knight.
BOOTIE CALL!!
5) Baltimore, Md--> Anober HOOCHIE, dis one is wild an exoctic.
6) Illedelphia, Pa--> Gots to go see mom an c if she still gots my
Viagra hid in tha lards. Willie is
probably still shittin on tha cornera.
Well my fans, DA SHEED is gona be round a bit hera and dera. Gonna
gits dat interview wif
Buckley up in a few daze. Brain Buttsticker I aint fogot u. Tailblazers
numbera 1!!! Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White
Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 09, 2000 at 14:45:31:
In Reply to: Re: Rhymes and Versus Day(Its back) posted byPlease read.
on November 09, 2000
at 12:47:59:
Yo Yo Yo,
FYI yo self muthafucker!!! So DA SHEED kant put forth carolina KLASS?
Why is tit eberytime
sum body gits pisseted dey calls me racist, and so forth? Nuff wrong
wif sayin redneck o sometin
like dat but DA SHEED will not stop.
1) So what if I gibes kids free tickes to a HARD ASS NBA game? Dey
kan shows up an see me
put dat CAROLINA KLASS on display fo eberyone(lead NBA in techs last
year and broke
Dennis Rodman's record, class)
2) Racist? Me? Dont tink so. Maybe just muthaufkcin maybe I am showin
a bit of urban THUG
LIFE dat middle klass cracker white bread snotty ass muthabitches
is missin out on? Want
DIVERSITY, I AM MUTHAFUCKIN DIVERSITY!!
3)I is with u dera on tha statement bout how money = klass. So da
mo money someone makes dat
means their personalmuthafuckin worf goes thru da roof(RAISE DA ROOF,
RAISE DA ROOF)?
Dat makes prefect senses.
4) So u be tried of dis shit? Say I is unorginal?
Tuff luck. I gots to say dis, kiss my high flyin, sky walkin, sugar
gittin ,Lexus drivin, hoochie gittin
,kid bearin, tatto havin, doctor daughter screwin, Former unc greater
interviewin, Franklin screet
cruisin, Rosseau readin, Buckley interviewin ASS.
Word from up on high two dose below. Goin fishin fo da brown trout.
Tailblazers number 1! Peace
out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat
White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 09, 2000 at 08:17:24:
Yo Yo Yo,
Da interview wif Buckley will be finisheted up in a few days. Muthafuckin
dawg ob mine ateted the
scripte an now I gots to fly back up to git wif dat cracker.
Well well, ben long time since I hads Rhymes and Versus Day. Hear
it be fo u to enjoy my little
bitches.
Front Row Bitches
Fo on da flo is what day say,
DA SHEED's on da mobe, I dont play.
Runnin down tha court starin at da sky,
Gonna git one of dem blondes, dats no lie.
A dunk then a hook goin in,
"Damn dat girl is fine, I'd screw her if she wo kin".
The Time I Came Home to Philly and an Old Ho I Used to Hook With Saw
Me and Wanted Some
Money(Yes thats the Title)
Push it out, push it in.
Grabs da chitlins we is gonna win.
Storm tha do and head fo da screet,
Dat ho is abter my meat.
Calls me names and calls me words,
She just mad cause I mobeted to tha burbs.
So I hooked wif her when I wuz young,
I hooked wif her often,
I wuz hard, I didnt git soft den.
Now she wants my stuff and kant stand to see me go,
U always screws up when u hook wif ho's.
Funk Dunk
Powerful
Bery Powerful
Damn Bery Powerful
Looksout Damn Bery Powerful
Funk Dunk
Fit It
Here be da story ob a thug named SHEED,
Grabbin tha hoop doin misdeeds.
Runnin tha court hopin each day,
Coach Smif droppeted a trout dat wont go away.
Chillin and rollin lookin fo sum LADIES,
Damn I miss Funky Cold Medenia back in tha 80's.
Moveted on up, headin to tha top,
I tinks I is goin back to tha tattoo shop.
Git a picture , git a story
Tattos is cool axe ol Torri(Torri Wells).
A STARRA is born an a STARRA is breed,
Eat my crumpets an u be full of lead.(Tea and crumpets, ohh such a
fine meal for a hard ass NBA
star)
Wel ldats sum mo HARD ASS RHYMES FROM DA SHEED. Glad to keep my fans
infomed on
da life ad times of the empitom of CAROLINA KLASS. TAILBLAZERS NUMBER
1! Peace
out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White
Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 06, 2000 at 15:45:59:
In Reply to: Re: Damien Wilkins is the most posted byNaN on November
06, 2000 at 15:00:12:
:Yo Yo Yo,
LOOK. Whas up wif da Wikins family? Da father gots a gap in his teef,
I kan see dat cause he
greweted up a poor ass muthabitch down in Washington Norf Carolina(Golden
Skillet in Plymouth
ROCKS!!). Whats da dea lwif Damien an him be haben a gap in his teef?
His papa gots millions an
he kant eben git his son a set of HARD ASS BRACES fo dem teef?
DA SHEED will send Damien sum money fo braces. It a poor ass shame
when da sons of HARD
ASS NBA STARRAS kants have skraght teef. BRAIN BUTTSTICKER WE MISS
U. Peace
out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White
Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 05, 2000 at 18:00:26:
Yo Yo Yo,
Fo dose of u dat has ben waitin fo da rest of dis interview, hear
it be. Enjoy my bitches.
Mr Buckley: Mr Wallace. Would you please explain to me in terms that
most men would
understand as the the nature of "poo poo"?
Sheed: U tailin me dat u dont know what poo poo is?
Mr Buckley: I have simply asked you to explain the term and what it
describes if you would please
sir.
Sheed: Man, tha work of HARD ASS NBA STARRAS neber ends. Poo poo is
what helps make
babies.
Mr Buckley: OH, yes I most certainly do like poo poo.
Sheed: Kan I call u Slick, Mr Buckley?
Mr Buckley: As one moves to call me "Slick" then one would certainly
deny me the name and title
that my parents put forth some 70 years ago as a means to identify
my origins. But yes you can call
me Slick.
Sheed: U is alright to be such a stuffy ass cracker.
Mr Buckley: Thank you Mr Wallace.
Sheed: Yo Slick, has u eber run up hard on sum hot womens and tried
to impress dem by gittin a
tattoo?
Mr Buckley: It is certainly absurd to place a picture of an object
on one's arm, chest, back, leg, or
buttocks to claim some sort of "fame". Tattos, in my opinion, are
superficial claims to some type of
uniqueness that the individual in question sems to be lacking.
Sheed: Did you justeted say u donts like tatoos?
Mr Buckley: No Mr Wallace. I just put forth my opinion concerning
a timeless tradition in which
total dolts paint or cover their bodies with art work with the intent
and design of impressing those
with weak minds and intellects.
Sheed: Ok, butt ass long as u say u be liki ntattos dat be fine wif
me.
Sheed: Lets mobe into anober section of detail(detail, deplane, denile
etc etc) in which u might be
able to impress my fans(I lobes u).
Mr Buckley:(To be continued- this week)
Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat
White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on November 01, 2000 at 07:17:48:
Yo Yo Yo,
Dis day is fo dem unc starras dat wuz once but aint no mo. Dis is
former unc greats day. Todaies
we is gonna be looking at tha humours carra ob Scott Cherry.
The usuals high scool legenda out of New York, Scott(known as Snot
to his elememtary scool
mates) gots one of dem carolina scholarships. Yes, dis limp wristed
flit boy gots a FULL RIDE to
unc fo basketball. Word has tit dat Scott(Snot) shit in his pants
when we wuz in tha 3rd grade,
some says he is scared fo life(I is THUG FO LIFE). Anober cracker
wif high grades.
Scott Cherry(91-94)
Points per game- 1.3(fo year aberage)
Rebounds per game- 0.7(fo year aberage)
ASSists per game- 0.4(fo year aberage)
Number of times the camera flashed him on tv thus revealing large
beaver teeth- 132(sum total)
Distance between Scott Cherry and Matt Wenstrom(while sitting on the
bench)- think about it
How many licks it took for Scott(Snot) to get to the center of a tootsie
roll tootsie pop- 74(Linda
Lovelace would be proud)
NUMBER OF TIMES DA SHEED DUNKED ON DIS CRACKER IN PRACTICE- TOO
MFing high to count
Well well well, abter a carerra ats unc where he did nuffin Scott(Snot)
moveted on to bigger and
better thangs. My reportas covereted dis one berry well. Scott(Snot)
useted his degree in
economics/business/industrial relations to open a chain of Viking
Food Resturants across dis great
muthafuckin land. Dey has gots bout 56 franchises from coast to muthafuckin
coast(Rack of lamb to
go please!!) No word on chitlins o collard greens. My reportas axed
Scott(Snot) bout his life and
his buzines since he left unc(left unc, I think that is one hell'va
pun). "Gosh, I do not know where to
begin. School was wonderful, Coach Smith was great as well. I just
can not say enough about the
lessons I learned at unc. How to win and how to lose(And if you loose
how to make excuses). It
sadden me to leave unc but they prepared me for life. GO HEELS!!"
If u is axin DA SHEED i tinks
dis is anober case of a looser crakcer havin gone off da deep end.
Dis guy kept axin bout Matt
Wenstrom, why duz I keep doin dis stuff? Scott(Snot) has his operations
baseted out of Meridian
Mississippi(Good Times- M I crooked letter crooked letter I crooked
letter crooked letter I hump
back hump back I), word his tit dat knot eberyone in dis country is
quiet up fo rack of lamb to
go(Ass dey say in Philly, "NO SHIT").
Well dera u has tit, unc makin dera way in da world today. Anober
display ob carolina klass and
honor. Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat
White on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 31, 2000 at 19:14:20:
Yo Yo Yo,
Its Hallomuthafuckinween down hera in DA HOOD!!!! I gots tricks fo
da kids and treats fo da
ladies. Mo gouls and goblins runnin round hera dan on check day. Heres
what i gots fo da kids.
DA SHEED'S Halloween List
1) Ebery kid gits a 40 of St Ideas(Eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas)
2) Each childruns be gitti na picture ob Coach Smif droppin a trout
3) Ebery little mamma jamma will gits a bottle of DA SHEED'S LOVE
POTION NUMBERA 9
4) Each will gits an autographed picture of Bob Newhart(u know, dat
cracker wif tha comb over)
5) And ebery childruns will git a picture of DA SHEED wearin his best
and brightest lesiure suit.
LAST AND KNOT LEAST- Ebery childrun will git a continer of Summer's
Eve(JR Reid- I beins
in mo hot blondes dan summer's eve)
Good luck wif da candy, its time fo DA SHEED to go do to do myself.
Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White Spot
on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 30, 2000 at 16:04:13:
Yo Yo Yo,
Gots off da calmputer fo I said dis.
Now what has I said bout Edwardos oder dan they drink BUDWISER, eat
goat meat(I ateeted
goat meat, dam good), shit in tha woods, likes fat blonde white women,
drive LTD's as well as
space ship lookin carras?
What has I said bout tha BROTHAS? Nuffin.
I has been sayin a few tings bout tha crackers. Did u read tha interview
wif Buckley? Probably not u
bitchass. Damn turd buglar. Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed
Wallace's Head on October 30, 2000 at 15:58:40:
Yo Yo Yo,
Justeted when u taughts tha muthafuckin good ship lolly pop wuz gonna
float along, hear be cumin
all dis shit bout racism and fags. I'll make dis as muthafcukin HARD
ASS breif as I kan.
DA SHEED will ALWAYS, and I mean MUTHAFUCKIN ALWAYS, hold FREEDOM
OB
SPEECH near an muthafuckin dera. I talks bout tings peoples(my fans,
I lobes u all) be wantin to
here. So I talks bout da numbera ob fags in Carraboro, is that not
tha HARD ASS muthafuckin
truf? U go droppin ur wallet ober dera in Carraboro u be gittin an
early Christmas present. Dan "the
fag" go c Matt Wenstrom next time u is lonely. Freedom ob speech wins
again.
HARD ASS THUG LIFE is what I am screamin. Kant give u tha urban edge?
U dont like my
ebonics? I is justeted talkin tha way dose ob us dat came ups in.
How u say, "a mo DIVERSE way
ob lookin at tings?" We kant all be tha muthafuckin daugthers of lawyers
and doctors from
Charlotte(I gots sum of dim dauthers two when I wuz in scool). Bottom
line is dis, u kant take tha
carolina KLASS kan u? Kant handle dis KLASS ACT, u lobed me when I
wuz shakkin and
bakkin ob dera in tha Dean Doom. URBAN EDGE FOEBER!
Dera u has tit. THUG LIFE and carolina KLASS cumin right at ya. Dont
like tit, dont read tit. Dis
muthafuckin society is gonna has to be critical or it gonna burn to
tha ground. Nuff ob dis shit, I gots
hoochies to git and I tink I knee anober tatoo. Word from up on high.
Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White
Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 29, 2000 at 16:54:04:
Yo Yo Yo,
Cause I wuz taught ats unc to be educmatcated I figuereted dat I wood
has dis special interview wif
da famous king of slurred speech and conservativism William F. Buckley.
Away we go wif anober
stif cracker.
Sheed: Mr Buckley, duz u eber grimance when u is bout to drop a brown
trout?
Buckley: Why Mr Wallace no. I am constantly worrying too much about
the central casues of
antidisestablimentarianism in Moldavia to ever make a face that would
indicate any such emotion.
Sheed: I'll be a muthabitch. Eberybodies makes a face when dey drops
da trout. Is u be sayin dat u
dont be makin no face?
Buckley: Sir I beg too your relent that I do not and have not at anytime
in my life made a face when
I am in the process of what you might call , "dropping the brown trout".
Sheed: Ok, next muthafuckin question. Why duz crackers like Republicans
and HARD ASS THUG
life support the Democrats?
Buckley: The answer might be found in looking through your history
book( at this point DA SHEED
gits confused). One might look into the reliance of some groups upon
justice from a centralized
authority while other groups might not have developed such a dependance
upon a force of such a
leveling nature as the federal government. (Sheed claws his nose for
a big one)
Sheed: Does dis mean dat crackers dont be liken gvernment cheese?
Buckley: Why no. Crackers have been known to go very well with cheese.
Sheed: I likes tha muthafuckin hell out of crackers and cheese, gives
me dat shit wif sum
Thunderbird o St Ideas(Eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas). Yum muthafuckin
yum.
Sheed: Yo Buckley, has u eber made lobe to a hot blonde dat wauz the
entertainer of tha month at
the DollHouse?
Buckley: Well......... As one looks toward physical satisfaction to
gain some sort of relief in life then
one tends to over look or abuse the inner healing that one might obtain
from sexual restraint.
Sheed: Did u justeted say u dont like poo poo?
Buckley:(NEXT WEEK-TO BE CONTINUED)
Peace out.
Sheed
Follow Ups
Posted ByThat White Spot
on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 26, 2000 at 17:39:04:
Yo Yo Yo,
U is really axin me, HARD ASS NBA THUG LIFE STARRA, two bash Queen
Anne? Who dat
bitch be an who muthafuckin cares? DA SHEED only talks and sky walks
bout tha facts of urban
life.
DA SHEED aint gots no time fo dat shit. Man, if u only new how i wuz
woorkin hard to git into
medical scool abter I wins dat NBA ring u woodnt brother me wif dat
shit. Why waste my
muthadustin, Lexus drivin, Hoochie gittin, Edwardo bashin, rump shakker
rubbin, tattoo gittin,
turnip/chitlin,collar green eatin, carolina klass loven ass on a stupid
bitchass dat had her first sexual
experiment in tha parkin lot of Speedy's BBQ in Lexington?
Dont bofer me no mo wif dat stuff. Now if u be havin sum fine ladies,
dats anober story all togehera.
Peace out.
Sheed
Posted
ByThat White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 26, 2000 at
17:46:02:
Yo Yo Yo,
StateGirl u is so fine, fine likes a butter milk biscuit. I wood rub
u all ober till u saids stop. I wood
makes u feel like a woman dat has been lobed. How kan I git wif u?
I is willin to dos anyting fo just
a chance ats havin u be my lady fo one knight.
Takes yo pity on dis HARD ASS NBA STARRA an falls fo da carolina KLASS
dat i bring forth
froms ebery fiber of my fine muthafuckin skin. Maybes u could reads
to me bout neo marxist
feminist writers that helped support Daniel Ortega in the 80's, I
kan show u a picture of sum
mexicans shittin in tha woods. What u say? Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat
White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 17, 2000 at 07:24:56:
Yo Yo Yo,
U knows I ateted liver mush a few weeks ago. I also dranketed sum
buttermilk. Nasty ass shit dat
buttermilk. I has ben shitin an gitin fo bout 2 daze. I'll reopt back
when I feels bettera. Dis HARD
ASS NBA STARRA has gots to gits better. Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat
White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 19, 2000 at 16:07:18:
Yo Yo Yo,
Dis day is fo dem unc starras dat wuz once butt aint no mo. Dis is
former unc greats day. Dis
muthafuckin day we is lookin at the humourass carrea of Matt Winstrom.
Matt wuz a prescool legend from Texass. In tha words of his middle
scool coach, "Matt might have
been the biggest, dumbest, and most akward child this school has ever
seen. Talk about retards, he
was always riding the short yellow bus". Yep, DA SHEED is wif u dera,
I dunketed on his ass back
in one of dem legenadry unc alumni pick up games.
Stats and Figures fo Matt
Points per game- 1.3(fo year aberage)
Rebounds per game- 1.2(fo year aberage)
ASSists per game- muthafuckin none
Time spent sitting beside Scott Cherry on tha bench- 78 hours, 13
minutes and 23 seconds
Times he and Scott Cherry kissed and touched each other when a unc
player had a big play(you all
know this, thats when the bench warmers all jump around and act foolish
when unc makes a play)-
12(not dat I wuz countin but hell man, dem boyz wuz TIGHT)
Kan u believe dis cracker went on to a HARD ASS LIFE in tha NBA? Yep,
tha Boston Celtic
picketed up his worthless ass in tha 7th round. Not much heard from
Matt on tha NBA sceen,
though dey is still talkin bout dat time Matt fell down versus Georgia
Tech in a regular season game
back in 93. Abter a HARD ASS life of NBA starrdom Matt moveted on
to become a lard
salesman in tha Carroboro area. Matt expressed suprises to my reporta
concernings his successs
sellim lard. "Much like Dave Popson I cant believe all the lard I
am selling in the Orange County
area, especially Carrboro. These people really dont eat biscuits and
a ton of single men are buying
this lard. I cant figure out what they are using it for.(DA SHEED
will tells u, sumbody is gittin dera
bung hole greased). My business is alot like Dave Popson(Butter King
of Duesseldorf), he sells
butter, I sell lard.
Without the teachings of Coach Smith I would have never gone on to
such a level of success. Hats
off to Dean, FREE LARD FOR YOU!!"
DA SHEED dont knows bout dat lard shit but I kan tellu dis, Matt is
still on goofy ass muthafucker.
Gots da frat boy hair and so forth. Why do I keep doing dis shit,
de mo unc greats I does tha mo
depresseted I git. Hope u al lenjoyed dis little piece of unc klass
and sucess. Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White Spot on
Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 12, 2000 at 20:29:56:
Yo Yo Yo,
I still is in trainin butt I gots to say dis two Damon Thorton and
his fine ass drivin skills(DA SHEED
got skills, axes dem blondes in Eringhouse Dome).
U is one hard ass thug life livin, Spots utlity wreckin, gap toofed
muthafucker. How didnts u come
to unc, we needs mo hard ass thug life. Word up Damon.
Gots to pull fo dem heels dis weekend. Later bitches, DA SHEED be
coolin down fo da season
begins. Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White Spot on
Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 13, 2000 at 16:45:44:
Yo Yo Yo,
Looks likes da webmaster has not quiet seen wherea DA SHEED be cumin
from. Coolin down is
70's hard ass talk fo 80's and 90's talk othermuthafuckinwise knowns
as "cold chillin". Examples:
"Yo Yo u all. I is fixin tha be cold chillin".(If you really want
to get a kick out of this use a
midwestern accent). Coolin down is also Southern Pines and Pinehurst
talk fo what stuck up
yankeefied cracker ass lily white norfeastern trash dids abter a game
of lawn cricket in tha
greater(lesser) Moore County area. I hope a mexican shits in dera
patio.
Miller Lite is fo limp wristeted weany wappin Playboy pages stuck
together calus palmed flit boyz.
I apologies two my fans(I lobes u all) fo not be mo active lately
on tha lady sceen, tha court or dis
websight. I is woorkin on a few tings an I'll be cold chillin and
bustin moves all ober da place in a
few mo weeeks. When I gits back into tha mood, I'll be in mo hot blondes
dan summer's
eve.<--------- JR(Jamal Ratass)Reid line, its a gooden. Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White Spot
on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 13, 2000 at 16:51:00:
Yo Yo Yo,
Next time u is on ur way to Florida Syrancuse fans, stop offs down
hera an let me whip tha cowboy
shit outta ya.
Kant take carolina klass, kant take unc superiority in sports and
acedmics? Whats wrong? I guess i
taint ass smart as Derrick Coleman(NOW THATS a smart Syrancuese gradute)
but i dids git into
medicals scool. Word to tha mutha. Mo carolina klass dan a man kan
stand. Word from up on high
to dose below. Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White Spot
on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 15, 2000 at 10:11:37:
Yo Yo Yo,
Damn what a muthafuckin game. I aint see mo blondes pisseted off since
George Micheal said he
wuz gay(Wham! sales went thru da flo). Dis HARD ASS NBA STARRA came
to dera rescues.
Dera i wuz, walkins down Fanklin Screet when des hot blondes(keep
tinkin Summer's Eve) wuz
walkin towards me. Fo u new tit a couple of mexicans that woorked
fo Bland Landscaping(an
wearing NC State sweet shirts) started hittin on dose hot blondes(all
childruns of doc o lawyers out
of Charlotte). DA SHEED had to come to dera rescue. I bounced sum
knuckles off da first
Edwardos head den I threw one thru tha window of the Hub Ltd.(dats
not LTD as in the carra dat
Ford makes). Da rest of dem Edwardos ran fo cover in da bushes on
Rosemary Screet(probably
took a shit).
So dear u has tit. DA SHEED savin hot blondes from da ravages of NC
State suportin, yard
mowin, pine straw spreadin, goat meat eatin, soccer ball kickin, maracchi
listin, BUDWISER
drinkin Edwardos. So tha heels only scorted 20 Saturday knight, DA
SHEED scoreted 3 blondes
an a case of da crabs. Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White Spot
on Rasheed Wallace's Head on October 04, 2000 at 16:14:35:
Yo Yo Yo,
I justteted wanbted to share a great ting I ateted tha ober day wif
you(my fans). I wuz out in
Rutherfordton Norf Carolina when I wents into dis little old sto.
Dera wuz a couple of old ass crackers cookin round a skillet. I could
not believes dey dids knot
know dat I am a HARD ASS NBA STARRA. I axes round fo sum 40's an dey
saids, "We dont
have any 40's but we have sum fressh liver mush". I saids, "Yo cracker,
kan I tries sum of dat liver
mush. Do it be better dan chitlins and hawg moaw?" I decidested to
try tha liver mush.
MUTHAFUCKIN GOOD!!! Damn I ateted bout 3 lbs of dat stuff. I liketetd
it so much I filled up
tha Lexus wif liver mush. I kinda eben tooks a liken to dem old crackers
cookin tha liver mush. Old
farts might be white but dey alright.
Next time I has a party at da pad its gonna be 40's, chitlins, hot
butt and liver mush. Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White Spot on Rasheed
Wallace's Head on September 29, 2000 at 14:20:14:
Yo Yo Yo,
Yerp. I is down hera wif my brothas on a little ass vacations. Jusat
cold chill, knockin a bit of hot
butt and drink muthafuckin cold ass St Ideas(eberytin is MO BETTER
wif St Ideas). Morrow we is
goin to tha LSU-Tenn footbal game, eatin a few chitlins and I ting
we is gonna eat sum crawdads.
Note of mucho muthafuckin impotenece: Best palace to buy St Ideas(eberyting
is MO BETTER wif
St Ideas) in tha greater(lesser) Atlanta area is tha Texaco near Villa
Rica. Tha lady befind tha
coounrter is Shirely an she useteted to work in Hillsbourgh NC on
a dairy farm. Shes gots false teef
and a hot butt PLUS she be sellin tha hell out of sum cold St Ideas(eberyting
is MO BETTER wif St
Ideas).
I be back fo long my little bitches. Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White Spot
on Rasheed Wallace's Head on September 23, 2000 at 16:29:37:
Yo Yo Yo,
Hell my littles biutches. Tits bout 4 o muthafuckin clock an me and
da boyz is drinkin cod ass
muthafuckin St Ideas(eberyting is MO BETTER wif St Ideas)down here
at da rib festivel in butaful
Tega Kaye Souf Karolina.
Man, da ribs is damn good, dera is mo ass here dan a donkey sale,
and I tinks I is gonna git sum.
Tha loj s is hot and da beer is cold. Man life is so much bettera
since I wents to unc. Gosh, dont lets
dem ober professionals starrara tell u life is hard, life is muthafuckin
easy. Ebery towen holds new
adventiures and mo hot butt.
Backs to tha Rib Festivelk in butaful Tega Kaye Souf Karolina, abter
I dun ate all des ribs I tinks I
is goin fo sum tits. Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat
White Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on September 26, 2000 at 09:37:03:
Yo Yo Yo,
All dis talk bout Sidney(also a fine ass stripper)has dun gots DA
SHEED two tinkin. I is dun
starteted tha 2004 SHEED OLYMPIC GAMES. U kan be parts of da fun and
da comptontition.
Tha events is simple and a great promoters of THUG LIFE and unc KLASS.
Below is listeted my
events, enter if you wish.
Dunkin Drinkin Fishin Klass actin
Swearin Shittin Disin turd floatin
Fightin Cookin Pissin goat herdin
Humpin Cruisin Hoochie gittin lawn darts
Dumpin Boozin Tater eatin Checkers
NOW DEMS SUM GAMES! Mo fun dan a hard ass NBA STARRA kan stand an
mo fun fo my
fans. Da prizes is a below seen.
1st palace- golden bottle of St Ideas(eberytin is MO BETTER wif St
Ideas)
2nd palace- silver bottle of St Ideas(eberytin is MO BETTER wif St
Ideas)
3rd palace- one ob Dean Smif old cigerette butts.
Fo my fans from DA SHEED. Tailblazers WARMIN UP. Peace out.
Sheed
Posted ByThat White
Spot on Rasheed Wallace's Head on September 18, 2000 at 09:16:57:
Yo Yo Yo,
Mighty good muthafuckin question from da Berman last weeks. If u misseted
his quesiton wuz, "Hey
Sheed(dats DA SHEED to u)I didnt see any woods around, where did the
mexicans shit?". Welll
ass aklways I gots da answers.
When consfrontetetd wif da possibiltieis of no woods two shit in an
Edwardo will folows seberal
paths to anal releif.
1) Opening the dos on 2 LTD's will gives u mo dan enuff room to drop
tha bomb in peace wifout
much peoples cin u do yo business.
2) Circle the Edwardos. I seen dem gather round each ober an makes
room in da middle fo one of
dem to takes a peeaceful dump. Loos kinda like da settlers fightin
off a pack of Injuns.
3) The standin crap. Dis is highlys suspect butt I tinks I seen a
couple do dis in Troy at tha "Troy is
More Festival". Dey looks round and c's if anyones is walkin past.
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